《Mrs. All-American》Chapter 4: Someone Stole this Chapter from Me :'(
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AMANDA’S POV
All my life I knew something was off. I couldn’t figure out what it was, until one day, when I figured out what it was. I was in the bathtub when it happened. I call it: The Day I Figured Out What It Was.
I tried to hide behind my earthy-toned beanies and slam poetry and hair that could arguably be considered red, but eventually I couldn’t hide from the truth.
I wasn’t a Hipster.
I never could be.
Because there was something not-so-dark lurking inside of me that I’d been repressing all of my life.
I, Amanda, am 5 Seconds of Summer’s biggest fan.
And it’s all that hooligan Kayla’s fault.
“No it’s not,” Daisy commented after I delivered the evil rant I’ve been planning out for months. God, you’d think she’d be a bit more supportive considering I let her live in my evil lair.
“Give me one good reason—”
“Amanda, do you have any idea who that girl is?”
I paced back and forth in my evil lair. “What do you mean?”
Daisy sat down in her evil computer chair and turned on her evil computer and moved her evil mouse over to a surprisingly pleasant icon. “Kayla is…Mrs. All-American.”
I stopped. My heart raced like a horse that you just fed ten pounds of coffee beans. “She’s…no. No. I don’t believe you.”
“Well believe it. And even worse, she already has The One on her side.”
“The One?”
“Yes, The One!”
“That One?”
“What other One is there?”
I slammed my fists down, forgetting that we got rid of the evil table last year and accidentally flinging myself onto the ground with the force of my anger. “I’ll bet that was her fault too.” I stood up. “She must be stopped.”
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“That’s ridiculous,” Daisy said. “You can’t stop Mrs.—”
“There there, my delightfully evil friend,” I cooed evilly. “She’s not Mrs. All-American yet. We can stop her as long as she doesn’t get married.”
“But this is a fanfi—”
“Don’t ruin my moment by breaking the fourth wall!” I whined. Ugh, I hated when Daisy recognized that all fan fictions end up with the main character marrying some random celebrity. “Listen closely. We can stop her.”
“If you say so.”
“We’re not in America. This is Australia. This is my turf.”
Daisy stood up like an elegant swan who was standing up. “Well, technically you just moved here last—”
“Not the point!”
KAYLA’S POV
Whoa, that was weird. Time just stopped for about the amount of time it would take to read two pages of bad fan fiction. But it’s resumed, so I’ll continue narrating my life to you.
Katie’s magic conch rang, so she took it out of her pocket and answered it. “Hi…wait, what? Oh my gosh, okay, give us six minutes and thirty-five seconds.”
She hung up and turned to me, fright evident in her frightened face. “Kaz just called me, she was murdered!”
“Gee willikers!” I exclaimed. “We need to go find her!”
“We’ll drive you,” Calum offered. Then, he leaned forward. “All of us.”
“Magnificent,” I gushed. “Let’s go before she rots away!”
We started toward the door.
“Wait!” Faith called. “Who was murdered?”
“Kaz!” I said.
We piled into the car, but Faith hesitated outside for a few seconds. “Wait, but didn’t you say Kaz was the one who called?”
“No time for questions, she’s been killed and we only have four minutes and eighteen seconds left to find her!”
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Kaz never told us where she was murdered, but we figured the most likely place would be the street corner where she spent most of her time in our hometown of Liverpool, New York. So that’s where 5SOS drove us. We got there with seventeen seconds to spare.
“Oh no!” I shrieked, looking at the pile of debris that must have been my best friend. “She’s gone. She’s really gone.”
“Dude, that’s a plant!” Faith yelled, doing that thing when you put your face into your palm. I think it’s called a “palmface.”
I looked a little closer and realized what I was looking at was a lot shorter and greener than Kaz. “Do you think it’s colorblind?”
“Hey, look who it is!” a voice from beyond said. Oh wait, it was just from the next block over. We were one off from Kaz’s Korner.
“KAZ!” Katie and I screeched, running over and tackling her to the ground.
“Man, that’s not right,” she said melodically. “Let’s all just be calm…and music.” She pulled a sitar out from her colorful poncho and started playing while swaying back and forth. We all sang along with her, even though it was in Polish and we had no idea what she was saying. She’s always loved Polish.
“Whoa, whoa, whoa!” Faith screamed, stepping in between Katie and me and Kaz. “This girl called you saying she was murdered—which is a whole new level of making-no-sense—and now she’s sitting here with some kind of guitar speaking some foreign language, and we’re not even in Australia anymore and—”
“Whoa, dude,” Kaz said relaxatively. “You just gotta chill. What yo vibe?”
“My what?”
I leaned over to Faith and translated: “She wants to know your name.”
“Oh. Um, Faith.”
Kaz smiled smilingly. “Faith. That’s what I have. Not in the government, though.”
“Lovely,” Faith muttered. “And your name is…Kaz?”
“You know it. But that’s not my full name.”
I flinched, remembering how All-American wasn’t my real last name. Was that going to make 5SOS suspicious?
“Oh,” Faith said, not seeming to be suspicious of me. “Then what is your full name?”
“Kazoo.”
Faith palmfaced and straddled down onto the sidewalk. “Of course it is.”
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