1414

mentions of homophobia/ Westboro, set before 2014 but not explicate about the date

"Anthony Stark, well-known as a generous philanthropist, the CEO of Stark Industries, and his alter-ego "Iron Man," under fire today after a controversial video he posted to his personal Vine account went viral. The short footage showed Stark in the passenger seat of a car, driving around an anti-homosexual rally, repeatedly shouting "I love sucking [explicative for male genitalia]" out of an open window. This and more at 9 o'clock."

"ANTHONY! WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING ON FOX NEWS?"

Pepper flicked off the television and stormed into the living-room that held Tony.

"Why the hell are you on Fox? Better yet, why the hell are you on Vine?!"

Tony held up a finger, signaling "just a sec", finished typing out something and hit send, then looked up at his raging PR manager.

"I wanted to show Steve the vine of him. You know- 'I shot him in ze legs because he is an idiot und his shield is the size of a dinner plate". He recited for Pepper.

"I meant what are you yelling at the Westboro Baptist Church! We don't have time for anymore scandals, Anthony."

"Oh she called you Anthony- What'd he do this time?" Steve asked stepping into the room with a mug of coffee.

"Pissed off Fox News."

"Nice." He high-fived Tony as he settlers into the couch beside him.

"Children," she muttered, exasperated, "I work for children."

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"We're gunna be late for the Spanish test!"

"Dude I can miss one test. I got over a hundred percent in that class 'cus Sr G doesn't know I'm a native speaker."

"Yeah Ned, stop being a buzz kill."

"Stop siding with him Michelle." He whined.

"Hey, I'm the one with the car and a license so if I want to detour past a Westboro gathering on our way back from lunch on a lovely Friday afternoon, then catch me doing just that." she sassed.

"This is a terrible plan." Ned remarked from the back seat.

"Oh my god wait guys I gotta film one for Mr Stark. Ned you film I yell?"

"Peter no."

"Fine. Michelle you film-"

"Hell yes!" "No! I'll do it you drive!"

"Mask! Mask! You gotta use the mask!" Michelle yelled as they approached the street corner of picketers.

"Yes!" Peter dug through his bag and pulled it out.

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"Another viral video following in the wake of Philanthropist Tony Stark aka Iron Man's now famous declaration of him love for giving oral in front of a crowd of traditional values supporters. In this video we see New York's very own Spider-Man yelling out of a window at a chapter of the Westboro Baptist Church "I love sucking expletive for male genitalia" after dedicating the actions to Tony Stark himself. But will these 6 second videos swing the campaign for homosexuals right to marry in the State of New York? More after this break."

"May has really raised him well." he poured the microwave popcorn into a bowl. "Truly I couldn't be more proud." He joked as he stuffed a hand full of popcorn into his mouth.

"Come 'ere." Steve pulled Tony into frame, snapping a pic of him kissing the popcorn stuffed smile on the cheek.

"Was that for?" He asked between chewing.

"Twitter. Gunna tag it '#ilovesuckingrepulsernoise'"

Tone raised a questioning eyebrow making Steve roll his eyes.

"C'mon keep up with the memes. That's the best way to bleep out 'sucking dick' by far. I thought you were supposed to be the tech savvy one." He teased.

"Tech savvy not teenage jokes savvy." He grabbed another handful of popcorn. "Oh! Turn it up!"

"Earlier this week Tony Stark aka Iron Man released a 6 second video of himself harassing a group of traditional marriage advocates.

("I like how they say released like you dropped a mixtape." "Harassing my ass- they deserved it.")

"Since then, the video has received millions of hits and has generated thousands of copycats and related hashtags including "#ilovesuckingexplitiveformalegenitalia" and "#thisonesfortony". Today, New York's own Spider-Man joined the group, posting a video of him yelling out the window at a gathering of Westboro Baptist Church members.

("That's our boy! Wooo!")

In response to these videos, the Westboro Baptist Church has tweeted their own version of the video, parodying the millionaire featuring clergymen yelling "I love sucking up to Jesus!"

"Oh this is gunna be good." Steve typed #ilovesuckinguptoJesus into the search bar and settled in for the night, sharing the screen with Tony.

"Breaking update: Steve Rogers also known as Captain America has tweeted a picture of what appears to be him kissing Tony Stark on the cheek apparently in support of his friends political stance."

The laughter from that lasted the rest of the night.

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"They're suing me?" It was phrased as a question but sounded more dumbfounded than anything else. "For what? Being gay on public property." He snarked.

"Hate speech and encouraging harassment. And before you ask no they can't do that. This is going to get thrown out before it even gets into the courts." Pepper explained.

"Oh fuck that. They want to sue, let them fucking bring it. Oh this is going to be so hilarious I can't wait. I need to tell Steve."

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"Hello. I'm outside the courthouse right now where any moment defendant Tony Stark will arrive for the hearing. Oh and here he is now, a red thunderbird is pulling up to the front of the courthouse. Mr Stark? What do you plan to ple-"

Tony stepped out of the drivers seat in a three piece suit, each pice made of a different rainbow print fabric. His tie read "I love sucking RepulserNoise." On top of that, a black leather harness matched to his wingtips. Finally, rainbow Raybands with rainbow reflective lenses. Out of the passenger side stepped out a much more mildly dressed Steve Rogers in a classic blue suit but over a "let's get on thing straight, I'm not" T-shirt rather than a button down. To say the hearing was eventful would be quite the understatement.

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Buzzfeed's 5 most icon moments of the Westboro v Stark hearing

In no particular order, let's begin

1) Everything about that outfit.

From the leather harness to the trail of glitter left by his shoes, everything Tony Stark wore was stuff for the books. If this is his court outfit, I can't wait still next Pride.

2) IronAmerica

Or is it CaptainIron? Maybe just Stony. Either way, this super couples official debut was everything we the gays of America have been waiting for.

3) Captain America is Bisexual.

Since his defrosting two years ago, Captain America, aka Steve Rogers has kept a pretty low profile. That is until his tweet a few weeks ago that prompted speculation on the two supers relationship. After the hearing, America's sweet heart tweeted "for everyone asking, no I didn't turn gay because of some agenda. I've been bisexual long before waking up in the 21st century, even before I joined the super-soldier program. Ps just because I'm in a relationship with a man doesn't mean I'm not bisexual." We love a woke bi king.

4) Crazy sign lady

Okay so far it's all been pretty happy, but can we please recognize the ugly hate of Crazy sign lady? She got so many wrinkles in that screaming face. This is what hate does to you- makes you age fast. (Can you believe she only 34?!)

5) Blow the hate away

This. Everything about this gif. Tony, being the god that he is, blowing pink glitter into the face of a picketer who tried to hit him with his sign. The level of sarcasm is kind of scary. This is the reaction image nobody can resist. You want to show how tired you are of all those homophobic comments? You tired of hateful family's Facebook rants? Trying to express how you really give zero shits? This is your image

Bonus) Can we please zoom into Cornel Rodney in the back?

Long time friend of Tony Stark, Cornel Rodney is standing in the back, full military dress, covered head to toe in glitter, two different color lipstick stains on his checks (from a picture Steve posted earlier of him and Tony kissing their mutual friend), staring at the sky and praying for death as his friends continue their antics. Tbh that'd be me too if I had to babysit friends like them