《The Calamity Girls (Book 1)》Plantar's Last Stand
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Our cart was all set up for the Wartwood Farmer's Market. "Ah, the Wartwood Farmer's Market, where salt of the earth frogs come to sell stuff and fill up on free samples." Sprig smiled as he took some jam from a nearby stand. "That wasn't a sample." The stand owner grunted. Sprig spits out the jam and put it back." "Now it's like nothing happened." Sprig chuckled as the owner pulled out a weapon. "I can pay for that."
At our stand, Anne was reading a magazine with Polly and I was helping run the stand. "Good morning, Mrs Croaker." We greeted. "I'll take this gangly gourd, Hopediah." Mrs Croaker said. "Oh, I sense a batch of Croaker stew coming on." Hop Pop wondered. "Hang on, Sadie, you don't want that one, it's a gourd maggot, these things taste terrible." The maggot crawls into Anne's hair. "It's in my hair!" Anne screamed. "Hang on, Anne!" I called as I left the stand to help her out. "Here, take this one instead, it's maggot free." Hop Pop suggested. "Classic Plantar honesty." Mrs Croaker compliments. "I've been buying from this stand since your father was running it, and y'all have never steered me wrong." "Very impressive, Hop Pop." Anne complimented. "That's the Plantar difference, Anne." Hop Pop explains. "You can't taste honesty, but if you could..." "It'd taste like a Plantar stand vegetable." Sprig and Polly groaned. "This stand is the heart and soul of our family." Hop Pop continues. "I don't know what I'd do if we ever lost it." At the same time, the mayor's assistant, Toadie handed a flyer to Hop Pop. "Bad news, everyone, bad news!" Toadie exclaimed, about to run. "Gonna run away before you read it!" "That Toadie." Hop Pop grumbled as he read the flyer. "Say what, Mayor Toadstool is quadrupling the rent?" "And he wants it in three days?" I added. "At this rate we'll lose the stand, what are we gonna do?" Hop Pop cried. "Got it." Anne said. "Snugaroos, blankets you can wear over your clothes." "What the, Anne, we're a vegetable stand!" Hop Pop snapped. "No, she's saying we need our own Snugaroo, our own product." I explained. Anne grabbed a gourd and a bunch of other things and put them in a jar. "Introducing, Plantar's Potion, a hearty mix of vitamins and minerals that'll extend your life and keeps you regular." "Wowza, all that in one jar?" Hop Pop asked. "Heck if I know, I just made all that up." Anne replied. "But health drinks are all the rage back home, we can charge through the nose for them." "Anne, I really like this idea of our own product, but isn't that false advertising?" I asked. "I don't know what a nose is, but it's worth a shot." Hop Pop said as he walked away from the stand to false advertise. "New product, new product everyone, this here is a freshly made bottle of, what was it again... Plantar's Potion." Wally raises his hand. "Yes, you in the front, Wally." "Does it taste good?" Wally asked. "Wouldn't know, haven't tried it yet?" Hop Pop replied. "Hey, Hop Pop, can we chat for a second?" Anne asked. "Sprig, work the crowd." I ordered. "Yes ma'am." Sprig replied as he hopped over to the crowd. "Sprig Plantar, 10 years old." Sprig then played Fur Elise using only arm farts, it was disgusting, but impressive at the same time. The crowd cheered for Sprig's performance. "Beautiful." Hop Pop whispers. "Dude, if you wanna sell this stuff, you gotta sell this stuff." Anne explains. "Make promises you can't keep and junk." "Did you forget this stand was built on honesty?" Hop Pop asked. "That's what I've been trying to say, selling this is false advertising and false advertising is frog abuse." I retorted. "Hop Pop, in 3 days, there won't be a stand." Anne said. "I'll give it a try." Hop Pop sighed as he walked up to Sprig. "Take 5, boy, I'll take it from here." "You got it, Hop Pop." Sprig replied and hopped back to the stand. "Folks, I'd really appreciate it if you bought this drink, because it'll make you stronger." Hop Pop explains. "And smarter too!" The crowd gasped. Hop Pop was starting to enjoy his new product. "Folks, one sip of Plantar's Potion and you may very well live forever." Hop Pop lied. The crowd cheered more than ever. "I'll take 10!" Wally shouted. "I'll take 100!" Ivy's mom yelled as the crowd threw money at us. "Suffering swamp gas." Hop Pop gasped. "We gotta step up production on this stuff, fast!"
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Our business was very successful in the past few days. Hop Pop had convinced the town that our product would moisten their skin and make their tongues more sticky. Although I was still against the thought of false advertising, seeing Hop Pop happy makes me happy. "I know I doubted you, girls, but this is really working." Hop Pop smiled. "I gotta say, Hop Pop, you've gotten really good at this." Anne compliments. "Why, thank you, young lady." Hop Pop replied. Suddenly, Sprig ran over to us with Polly, and not in a good way. "Guys, guys!" Sprig exclaimed. "Big problem!" Polly added. "What's wrong?" I asked. "We used up all our produce, there's nothing left!" Sprig panicked. "No, we're so close!" Hop Pop exclaimed. "We can't fall short now!" Hop Pop looks for some new ingredients for our product and ends up finding garbage. "Yeah, that's literally garbage." Anne said disgustedly. "Garbage?" Hop Pop asked. "Or Plantar's Potion's new secret ingredient?" "I think I'm gonna throw up." I gagged. Hop Pop searched for more garbage in the area. "You sure about this, Hop Pop?" "Oh, I'm sure, everyone's hooked." Hop Pop replied. "They'll buy anything I sell them!" Hop Pop filled up the jars and me and Anne were even more disgusted.
The next morning, Sprig and Polly were exhausted from stomping on trash all night. "Friends and frog folk, step right up!" Hop Pop announces. "New limited edition Plantar's Potion, only 20 coppers a bottle!" "20 coppers?" I asked as I sat next to Anne. "No one's gonna but that..." Anne added as the townsfolk ran on top of us to the stand.
The sales had finished up finally. "Well, did we make it?" Anne groaned. "Did we save the stand?" "Just about, we gotta sell to one more sucker and we'll be home free." Hop Pop replied. Mrs Croaker stepped up looking mad. "I'll take a bottle, Hopediah." She said. "Sadie Croaker, the stand's oldest and most loyal customer." He gasped. "Usually I find potions and the like to be a bunch of malarkey, but if Hopediah Plantar says it works, then it must." Mrs Croaker explains. "Been saving this gold farthing for a while now, waiting for something special to spend it on, one bottle please." "Uh, we're all sold out." Hop Pop lied. I could tell that he was nervous. "No we're not!" Polly exclaimed as she gave Mrs Croaker the bottle. "Oh, thank you, deary." She replied to Polly. "To Hop Pop and the Plantar's, the most honest folks in the business!" "To the Plantar's!" The townsfolk replied as they were about to drink their bottle, when Hop Pop knocks it out of Mrs Croaker's hands. "What has gotten into you, Hopediah?" Mrs Croaker asked. "That was no health potion!" Hop Pop cried. "It's garbage!" The crowd was filled with anger. "Folks, I'm sorry, I never meant any harm, all I was trying to do was save my stand." The crowd gasped as Sprig and Polly were captured by giant flies. "Hop Pop, they want the garbage potion!" Sprig screamed. The flies took more frogs and flew away. "Hey, let go of our bumpkin frog family!" Anne shouts, but a fly grabs us too. All of a sudden, Hop Pop lures the flies with bait. "Ain't this what you want?" Hop Pop asked the flies as he puts the remaining bottles in a barrel and ran on top of it near a cliff. "You really want this so bad, then drop the kids and go get it!" Hop Pop pushes the barrel off the cliff and the flies dropped us and chased it. "Everyone okay?" "Not really." Sprig replied. "Kids, I messed up big, I was so desperate to save the stand, I forgot what the stand was even about." "I don't wanna say 'I told you so' but, I told you so." I whispered. "So, what now?" Anne asked. "We go make things right." Hop Pop replied. "That's the Plantar way."
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We gave full refunds to everyone who bought a bottle. "I know things are bad, Hop Pop, but if it makes you feel any better, you were a crazy good salesman." I complimented. "I was good, wasn't I?" Hop Pop asked. "Well, Hopediah, looks like you're going to have to earn our trust back, that being said, I think your father would be proud that you did the right thing today." Mrs Croaker said. "Thanks, Sadie, I'll work hard to earn your trust back." Hop Pop replied. "Not at this stand you won't!" Toadie snapped. "No coin, no stand!" Hop Pop closes down the stand and frowned. "Don't worry, Hop Pop, we'll help you get the stand back." Sprig said. "Thanks kids, let's just get home and relax a little." Hop Pop sighed as we hopped on Bessie and headed back. "You know, maybe the end of one tradition means the start of another, maybe I ought to start over the Hop Pop way, experiment with those new seed varieties I always wanted to try." "That's the spirit, Hop Pop!" Anne cheered. "Nice going, HP." I added. "Yeah, we're gonna make it after all!" Sprig exclaimed. "The future is ours!" Polly shouts. "Oh, frog, I'm unemployed!" Hop Pop screams during this peaceful ride home.
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