《The Calamity Girls (Book 1)》Lily Pad Thai
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Many people have asked me, "Rowena, when you were friends with Anne, have you ever had Thai food?" The answer is no. Anne has told me many stories about how her parents immigrated to America.
One day, Anne and I were helping the Plantar's with dinner. "There you go, now you're getting it." Anne encouraged Sprig, who was tossing some dough. "Girls, wanna chop up some veggies for me?" Hop Pop asked. "You got it, HP." I replied as me and Anne diced some veggies and put them in a bowl. "Where'd you two learn to cut like that?" Hop Pop asked. "My parents owned a Thai restaurant back home." Anne replied as she grabbed her phone and showed Hop Pop some pictures of her cat, Domino, but then found a picture of her family's Thai restaurant. "I used to work there all the time and help out, I hope they're doing okay without me." "I don't even know how time works here, chances are they're frozen in time until we return." I said. "Well how about that, a restaurant." Hop Pop smiled. "That's pretty impressive." Polly compliments. "What about you, Rowena?" "Anne just taught me everything she knows." I replied. Suddenly, the oven exploded and Sprig was to blame. "Yup, I blew up the pizza." Sprig commented. "Dang it, Sprig!" Hop Pop exclaimed. "Well, looks like this meal's a bust, who wants to eat out?"
We walked into Stumpy's Diner, the best place to grab some food in Wartwood. "Oh wow, this place is not to code." Anne said at the site of the messy looking diner. We sat down at an open booth and waited. "Wow, the font on these menus is way too small." I complained. All of a sudden, Stumpy, the owner gave us each a bowl of some green goop. "Here you are, five bowls of slop." Stumpy said. "Enjoy, or don't, makes no difference to me." "Thanks, Stumpy!" Sprig thanked. At the booth behind us, there was a newt who was complaining about his food. "There be a problem, sir?" Stumpy asked. "Um, yes, there's only one fly in my soup, there should be dozens." The newt complained. "I mean, how hard is it to run a restaurant anyway, you just put food on tables, tadpoles can do that!" "Who's that jerk?" Anne asked. "And why won't he shut up?" I added. "That is Albus Duckweed, he writes reviews for the paper." Sprig answered. "They have comic strips sometimes." "He thinks he's better than anyone else just because he talk good." Polly explains. "It's true." Hop Pop added. "A foodie?" Anne asked. "Say no more, c'mon Rowena." Anne grabs my arm and dragged me to Albus's booth. "I mean seriously, look at this place!" Albus continues complaining. "Hey, lay off, buddy!" Anne exclaimed. "Running a restaurant is hard!" I added. "Kids, what are you doing?" Stumpy asked. "What do creatures like you two know about running a restaurant?" Albus asked. "Anne, don't." I warned. "Well, what does a little lizard like you know about anything?" Anne asked. "Besides, my parents ran a restaurant back home, so I know what I'm talking about." "Well, if your parents are anything like you, I'm sure their restaurant was terrible!" Albus argued. "Oh yeah, well, tell you what, why don't you come back in two days or something, and we'll have completely turned this place around." Anne suggested. "I beg your pardon, what?" Stumpy asked. "Oh a wager is it?" Albus asked about to leave. "Fine, I'll be back in two days, looking forward to writing my review and shutting this place down." "Kid, what have you done?" Stumpy asked. "That was the most popular critic in town." "Yeah, Anne, one bad review from him, Stumpy's goes out of business!" I exclaimed. "Stumpy, Rowena, I know I got carried away, but we can do this." Anne encouraged. The Boonchuy Family pride is at stake, what do you say?" "I say you just put me out of business." Stumpy replied. "Bound to happen eventually, I suppose." "Girls, did you just promise to save this restaurant?" Hop Pop asked. "In two days?" Sprig asked. "By yourselves?" Polly added. "Yup, that's pretty much what just happened." I answered. "Me and my big mouth." Anne groaned.
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Anne woke me up early in the night to head over to Stumpy's to discuss her plan. Stumpy was carrying what looked like an alligator. "Dang mushroom needs replacing, not like it matters anyway." He said as he sees us in the kitchen. "Mother of pearl!" "Hey Stumpy." Anne greeted. "Anne, it's too early for this." I groaned. "How long you been here?" He asked. "All night." I yawned. "Couldn't sleep, too excited!" Anne exclaimed wide awake. "Coffee, black, now!" I added. "So, you ready to beat the critic?" Anne asked. "Creepy kid." Stumpy whispers. "What do you wanna start with, change the menu, redecorate..." Anne asked. "Burn this place to the ground and start over?" "Me without coffee is frog abuse alone!" I snapped. "Look, kid, you're on your own, do whatever you want." Stumpy said to Anne. "It's not gonna make a difference in the end anyway." "That's where you're wrong." Anne laughed.
I finally found some coffee in the kitchen and then I helped Anne clean the diner. I helped clean some dishes and took out the trash, which was eaten by a garbage lizard. Before we knew it, the diner was clean and reminded me more of a restaurant from back home. "I gotta hand it to you, girls, this place looks great." Stumpy compliments. "We even scrubbed the Wally out." "That's what you think!" Wally called in the kitchen. "The critic is gonna be blown away." Stumpy said. "Blown away?" Anne asked. "No, all we've done is mop the floors and clean dishes, this place is still a house of broken dreams." "Harsh, but on point." Stumpy comments. "If we're gonna impress that critic, we've got a lot more work to do." I stated. "We need a complete and total transformation." "What do you mean?" Stumpy asked. "Like placemats?" "Bigger." Anne replied. "Better." I added. "Oh, I'm gonna need me hammer hand for this." Stumpy said.
Overnight, Anne, Stumpy, and I worked on remodeling the diner. But it was all finished in the morning. A bunch of frogs crowded the diner to see the changes. "Sawadi-ka." Anne greeted. She was wearing this beautiful Thai themed dress. "And welcome to Stumpy's, Wartwood's first frog-Thai fusion restaurant, now with napkins." I added. I was helping Stumpy in the kitchen and Anne was serving orders. "I've never seen this place so packed, what's this weird feeling in me chest?" He asked. "That is called hope." I replied. "I think we might actually pull this off, dude!" At the same time, Sprig, Hop Pop, and Polly walked in. Sprig just wanted to ring the bell. "Please stop ringing that bell." Anne said to Sprig. "Guys, this place is amazing!" Sprig exclaimed. "You weren't kidding when you said you were good at this." Hop Pop added. "So, table for three." "Actually make that a table for four." Anne pushes me towards the Plantar's. "Anne, what are you doing?" I asked. "Introducing you to your first Thai dish!" Anne replied as she gave me a dish. "But we have no open tables at this time, so I made you a Larb." I took a bite of this salad, and it was the best thing I've ever put in my mouth. "I love it, Anne!" I exclaimed, hugging her but almost crying. "Thank you." Suddenly, a frog clears his throat to get our attention, but it turns out it was just Albus in disguise. "I'm done here." He said. "Duckweed, he's here." Stumpy gasped. "Duckweed, what's with the disguise?" I asked. "Oh, this, it's kind of a critic thing." Albus replied. It's to guarantee that we get a genuine experience, you know." "Oh, interesting." Anne thought. "If you knew it was me you'd probably zhuzh it up a bit, make it a little bit better, but in a disguise, you're just gonna serve me like anyone else." Albus explains. "That's actually really clever." I complimented. "Thank you." He replied. "So, did you like the food?" Anne asked. "Oh right, no!" Albus snapped. "I found the experience had no cohesion, like one thing was clumsily grafted on top of another, and when I publish my review, your restaurant will be ruined." "Will you give us a moment?" I asked. "Stay right there."
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We rushed into the kitchen with worry. "That's it, it's over, we're finished!" Stumpy cried. "The second that review goes up, this restaurant goes down!" "Pull yourself together, man!" Anne exclaimed as she slapped him. "We can do this, it's time to bring out the big guns, my parents' squid and basil special, no critic in town could resist." "That might actually work." I said.
We went over to the table Albus was at to let him know. "Hey, we've got a special dinner just for you." I told him. "BRB." "Amusing, alright, I'll play your little game." Albus replied.
We came back to the kitchen with a squid, but I think it was still alive. "Man, squid are huge here!" Anne complained. "They're huge back home." I replied. "It's not a squid, it's a kraken." Stumpy corrected. "Eh, potato, tomato." Anne said. We worked on the dish for a couple minutes. Finally it was time to feed Albus. "Alright, dude, get ready to be blown away." I said as Anne and I revealed his dish. "Oh my..." Albus gasped in astonishment. "What an exotic selection." He was about to take a bite, but a growl was coming from the kraken. "Assassinating your critics, I love it!" Polly exclaimed as the kraken grabbed her, Sprig, and Hop Pop. Anne, Stumpy, and I hid behind the counter. "Okay, this is a disaster, I never should have made this dumb wager." Anne panicked. "Anne, calm down." I said. "Maybe we can't save the restaurant, but we sure can save those people's lives, what do you say?" Stumpy asked. "I say, let's crush this calamari!" Anne replied.
We fought for a while. Anne saw a lemon in a mug that could stop the kraken. Stumpy was hit by squid ink. "Rowena, the lemon!" Anne yelled. "Coming right up." I replied as I hit it over to her with my golf club. "Pad See Ew, you later." Anne said, squeezing the lemon in the kraken's eye and it dropped the frogs as Stumpy kills it. Sprig checked the pulse. "I don't think it's gonna get back up." Sprig sighed. "So, Duckweed, guess you've got a bad review to write, huh?" I asked. "Bad?" Albus asked. "That was incredible, a food that tries to eat you, I simply must tell everyone!" Albus leaves the restaurant and the others cheered for us. "Wait, you guys have a message board?" I asked. "Sure do, it's a literal board." Sprig replied. "Well, guess we better clean this place up, again." I said. "Stumpy, I'm sorry about all this." Anne apologized. "I took things way too far." "Yes you did." I added. "No way, Anne." Stumpy replied. "Thanks to you and Rowena, this whole thing was a big success, you even convinced this old grump to actually care, if your parents were here to see this, I'm sure they'd be proud." "Thanks, Stumpy." I said as Anne and I hugged him.
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