《The Calamity Girls (Book 1)》Dating Season
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Anne, Sprig, and I went to the woods one morning for something fun to do. "Why do we always hang out in the woods?" She asked Sprig. "You have a perfectly good living room." "Where's the fun in that?" Sprig asked. "This place is full of nature." "Other than monsters trying to kill us, I've gotten used to the environment." I said. We walked past a bush when suddenly, it started to rattle. "Stay back." Sprig gasped. "It could be a blood sucking predator." "You are really not selling me on this place." Anne groans. I took a look inside the bush, only to see what looks like a squash with a face drawn on it. "Oh, no." Sprig panicked. "It's an..." "Ambush!" A voice called out as a young frog around Sprig's age jumped out at him. "I'm hit!" Sprig exclaimed. "Sprig down, Sprig down!" The young frog laughed. "Hey, Ivy." Sprig said. "Nice ambush, gourd in a wig, classic." "Can't take all the credit." Ivy chuckled. "You're really easy to trick." "Well, guilty as charged." Sprig replied with a laugh. Ivy laughed with him. I cleared my throat. "Oh, Ivy, meet Anne and Rowena, oddities from another world." Sprig introduces us to Ivy. "Anne, Rowena, meet Ivy, childhood acquaintance and occasional sparring partner." "Hey Ivy." Anne waved. "Hey, I've seen you two around, nice to officially meet." Ivy said, shaking our hands. "Do you like being randomly attacked?" "Not at all." We both replied. "Well, too bad." Ivy said as she walked away. "See you later, Sprig." Sprig giggled, but I think he was also blushing. "Well, well, well." I said. "She's kinda cute, huh?" "I don't know what you're talking about." Sprig denied as we headed back.
"We're home!" I announced as we got back. "What have you three been doing?" Hop Pop asked. "I've been looking for you all morning." "Oh, nothing." Anne replied. "Except Sprig was totally flirting with a cute girl!" She squealed in excitement. "No kidding?" Hop Pop gasps. "Guys, it's not like that." Sprig explains. "Ivy Sundew and I are just friends." "Ivy Sundew?" Hop Pop asked. "Nobody move!" "This is so exciting!" Anne exclaimed. "I'm gonna go get my dating magazines, BRB." "I don't actually care." Polly said. "Neither do I." I added. "Here we go." Hop Pop explains as he opened an old chest. "The firefly formal is tonight, it's the perfect opportunity to begin the ritual." "Ritual?" Anne asked. "Only frogs who have performed the ceremonial dance, in the ceremonial garb are allowed to be wed." Hop Pop nodded. "Huh, kitchy, I like it." Anne said. "Guys, we're just friends." Sprig snapped. "Besides, I'm already engaged to Maddie, right, she gave me this nifty ring." Sprig showed us a glowing ring in the shape of a skull. "Forget her." Hop Pop said. "The Sundew's have secret proprietary crops, do you have any idea what that means?" "Uh..." Sprig questioned. "He's saying you guys will be rich if you marry Ivy." I explained. "Wow, so romantic." Polly said sarcastically. "I love these magazines!" Anne exclaimed. "Look, Sprig, it says here that two-thirds of all soulmates start out as "just friends"." Sprig grabbed the magazine from Anne. "Wait, what, really?" Sprig asked. "And you both trust these things?" "Definitely, magazines never lie." Anne replied. "Yes they do." I added. "Could Ivy be my eternal love, my soulmate, the cat to my bat?" Sprig wondered out loud. "Well we're about to find out because I already asked her family." Hop Pop replied. A bug came to the window with a note for Hop Pop. "They agreed to a date!" "Well, missing out on eternal love does sound bad." Sprig sighed. "I guess one date couldn't hurt."
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Later that night, we went to the formal. Many frogs were dancing their butts off. That wasn't the case for Sprig though. "Stop struggling." Hop Pop ordered. "Just a little more." Anne added. "My boy, you look incredible." Hop Pop compliments. "You look terrible." I said. "I mean seriously, guys, he looks like a clown." "I'm with Rowena on this one." Sprig added. "Ivy's gonna think I look stupid, I think I look stupid." "Great, you'll have something in common." Anne said, completely ignoring me and Sprig. We walked over to the Sundew's and I see Ivy was also dressed as a clown. Sprig gulped. "Alright, boy, go get that lucrative business relationship." Hop Pop smiled. "I mean, romantic relationship." "Hey." Ivy greeted awkwardly. "Hi." Sprig replied awkwardly. I know Hop Pop is only interested in the money, but I feel like Sprig actually has feelings for Ivy. "This is so exciting!" Anne cheered. "I wonder what their ship name will be." "Ivig, Sprigivy?" I suggested. "What are you two even saying?" Polly asked. "Let's watch our little love doves fly." Hop Pop shushed us. "Love doves are birds that mate for life." "We got it." I said. Music started playing exclusively for Ivy and Sprig to dance to. "I had no idea you felt this way about me, Sprig." Ivy said awkwardly. "Oh sure, didn't you know two-thirds of all mates start with souls?" Sprig stutters. "I mean, two-thirds of all souls start with..." he sighed. "I can't do this, I'm really sorry, Ivy, I don't wanna date you, everyone just convinced me this was a good idea." "Not everyone!" I exclaimed. "Oh thank goodness, I only went along because I didn't wanna hurt your feelings." Ivy sighed in relief. "Also because my mom forced me." "Parents, am I right?" Sprig laughed. "What do you say we ditch this thing and go watch some fireflies?" "After you, friend." Ivy laughed. "Why, thank you, friend." Sprig said. "Ooh-la-la." Anne said in a tree. "The little love doves are sneaking out into the woods, you know what that means." "It means they're abandoning the ritual!" Petunia Sundew, Ivy's mother exclaimed. "If those two don't finish that dance..." "Then this courtship will be ruined!" Hop Pop shouts. "Along with my financial security!" "Wait, what?" Anne asked. "We cannot let them waste this chance, they say nine out of ten people stay up at night regretting missed romantic opportunities." "C'mon gang, let's get this merger back on track." Hop Pop ordered. "Uh, counterpoint, why don't we just leave them alone?" I suggested. "Ridiculous." Hop Pop replied. "Not a chance." Petunia said. "I'm way too invested right now." Anne added.
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Hop Pop insisted on following the path Sprig and Ivy left behind of their old timey costumes. "Where are those dang kids?" Hop Pop wondered. Suddenly, two birds flew past us. "Love doves, don't move or we'll be dead. "What, I thought they were all romantic and mate for life." I whispered. "Yeah, and they spend that life massacring all living things." Hop Pop explains. The love doves heard us and shrieked. We all screamed as they took us to it's nest. They trapped us in their spit. "We're stuck!" Anne panicked as the doves flew away. "So, they're not gonna eat us?" "Not right away." Hop Pop explains. "Love doves prefer to let their prey marinate in fear first." "Can it, Plantar, this is all your fault." Petunia argued. "If you taught your grandson proper courtship technique..." "My fault?" Hop Pop asked. "It's obviously yours." Anne pulled out her magazine with her mouth since both of her hands were stuck. "Guys, it says here that our relationships define us, and nothing else." Anne reads. The arguments continued until Polly broke them up. "Enough!" Polly screamed. "It's all your faults." "Polly's right, the only reason we're marinating here is because you all had to play matchmaker." I added. "You two were greedy, plain, and simple." "Maybe a little." Hop Pop frowned. "It's nuanced." Petunia added. "Nice, totally innocent for once." Anne sighed in relief. "You two should be ashamed. "Are you kidding?" Polly asked. "Sprig only went through with this because of you and this dumb magazine!" Polly reached for the magazine and shreds it to pieces. "Wow, I feel lighter somehow, more free." Anne said. Suddenly, Ivy and Sprig have arrived to save us. "Hey!" They both greeted. "We're here to rescue you!" Sprig cuts us free as we escaped. "We're also here to tell you that we don't want to date each other and we never will." Ivy added. "We know, Rowena and Polly set us straight." Hop Pop said. They all apologized when suddenly, the doves came back. "I always tell them, save the heartfelt apologies for when we get to safety." Polly explains. "Don't worry, guys, Sprig and I are ready for combat!" Ivy exclaimed. "Ambush!" Sprig yelled as he attacked the doves and killed one. "Nice ambush." Ivy complimented. "Well, I learned from the best." Sprig replied, smiling at Ivy. "Now let's finish this up." Ivy threw a stick at the other dove and killed it. "Amazing, even in defeat, they're majestic." Hop Pop gasped quietly. "Come along now, Ivy, let's get you home so I can apologize safely." Petunia said to Ivy. "See ya, Sprig." Ivy waved. "See ya, Ivy." Sprig replied. "Sprig, next time we won't get the courtship kit out until you're good and ready." Hop Pop said. "Now I can focus on finding love for Polly." "No!" Polly exclaimed. "Well, that's the end of that." I stated. "Now you and Ivy can go back to being just friends." "Yup." Sprig replied. "Oh, you just fell in love with her, didn't you?" Anne asked. "Yeah." Sprig replied. "I just fell in love with her."
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