《The Calamity Girls (Book 1)》Cane Crazy
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It was a windy day in Wartwood, so we all hung out inside. Anne and I decided to show some of the stuff in our backpacks to Sprig. "Wow, guys, look at all your cool stuff." Sprig said, picking up a toenail clipper. "What's this, ah, I get it, torture device." "That's a toenail clipper." Anne said. "Oh, okay, sure, what about this, what does this do?" Sprig asked as he put part of Anne's pump in his mouth and pumped it really hard. "It's painful, oh, and this." Sprig picked up my pen from the ground and started clicking it repeatedly. "Oh I love this, this is amazing." "You know what, you can keep it." I said as a bell started ringing. "Kids, chow time!" Hop Pop shouts from the kitchen.
When we got to the kitchen, we couldn't wait to eat. "Time to eat, time to eat!" We shouted. "Hold on, you kids, hold on." Hop Pop said, serving us a weird meal with bugs. "Ugh." Anne said in disgust. "Uh, you know what, I think I'm gonna pass." "Me too, my doctor says I need to be on an all bug diet." I added. "Why, is my food not good enough for the princesses?" Hop Pop asked. "Well, if we're princesses, then you're the king of bad cooking." chuckled Anne. "Oh yeah, well, you... I..." Hop Pop stutters. "What's the matter, Hop Pop, frog in your throat?" I joked. "Oh, dang it, you know what, I'm gonna take a nap." He said storming off. "I don't believe this, I feed you, I house you, and this is how you repay me, if you don't shape up soon, girls, I'm throwing you out!" "Yeesh, what's his problem?" Anne asked. "I'm Hop Pop, and I cook bad and have a temper problem!" "That's so Hop Pop." Sprig laughs. "Eat your aphids, don't play with them, elbows off the table!" Anne joked with his cane, making Sprig, Polly, and me laugh. "Sometimes I wonder why I even bother putting up with you at all!" She continued as she accidentally broke the cane. We all gasped in horror. "Oopsies, guess I don't know my own strength, right, guys?" She said with worry. Sprig and Polly dropped their jaws. "You guys okay?" I asked. "What's the big deal, it's just one cane." Anne added. "That wasn't just any cane, it was Hop Pop's special cane passed down from his father, and his father before him." Sprig explains. "Oh," Anne panicked. "You guys gotta help me." "Us," I added. "If Hop Pop finds out, he'll blame both of us and kick us out, we cannot go back to living in a cave." "The nights were the hardest." Anne said. "Don't worry, guys, we'll do whatever it takes to help you." Sprig said. "Eh, count me out." Polly said, not caring. "Polly!" Sprig exclaimed. "What, I hardly know them." She replied. "Would you help us for one of these?" Anne asked Polly, offering her a candy bar. "Candy from another world?" She gasped. "Ladies, you've got yourselves a deal!" "Glad to hear it, now let's try to save our skin. I said. We tried to glue it down with Hop Pop's food and Polly's bow, but it collapsed. "Ok, maybe we can't fix it, but someone else can?" Anne asked. "Someone good with wood?" "Anne, you're a genius!" Sprig exclaimed. "We'll just take it to Leopold Loggle, the woodsmith, he loves wood, almost a little too much." "It's worth a shot." I said.
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We arrived at Leopold Loggle's place with the broken cane. Anne gave him the cane and he started to examine it. "So, can you fix it?" Anne asked. "As a matter of fact, I can, not." Leopold Loggle replied. "Huh, can you make a new one?" Sprig asked. "Absolutely, no way." He replied. "Do you have one we could buy?" Polly asked. "Of course I do, not." He replied. "I don't." "Why do you keep doing that?" I complained. "Old smithing accident, you don't want to know." Leopold Loggle said. "Uh, okay, so..." I started. "Tripped on an anvil," Leopold interrupted. "Landed neck-first on a metal pipe, pierced my voice box clean through!" He showed us where he was pierced and we were all disgusted, except for Sprig. "Switched over to wood after that, anyhow, I'm afraid I can't do much for you, that cane was made with wood from the incredibly rare, extremely dangerous, Doom Tree!" Leopold explains. We all gasped. "Few have made it to the Doom Tree alive, fewer yet returned, it holds many secrets that mortals dare not..." "Dude, it's a tree, just tell us where it is." Anne demanded. "Yeah Loggle, cut the chitchat." Sprig said. "You're bald!" Polly insults. "Okay, okay, I got a map to the doom tree right here, but it'll cost ya." Leopold said as I snapped a photo of the map on my phone. "Or you can do that, for free." "C'mon guys, we gotta hurry, Hop Pop could wake up at any second!" I said as we all ran out of the shop. "Be careful, you kids, it's cursed, I tell ya, cursed!" Leopold warned.
We were walking into a forest and arrived at the tree. "Hold up," Anne said. "We're here." The tree looked like a mantis from a distance. "Now that is an ugly tree." I said. "Just one of Mother Nature's horrible mistakes." Sprig added. As we walked closer to the tree, all that really surprised me was the dead frog bodies around us. "Frogs died here." Polly chuckled. "Look, that branch is perfect." Anne said, pointing out a branch similar to the shape of Hop Pop's old cane. Anne, Sprig, and I climbed the tree to grab the branch. "You people and your legs." Polly scoffed. I forgot she was still just a tadpole. We grabbed onto the branch and started pulling the branch. "Careful, the tree is cursed." Anne said with sarcasm, making Sprig and me laugh. "But, seriously though, on three." I added. "One, two..." as we broke off the branch, we heard a loud shrieking coming from the tree. "Did the tree just scream?" Anne asked as the tree was shaking us down to the ground, and started to attack us. "Run!" "That thing is not a tree, it's some sort of grody bug!" I exclaimed. "A bug that wants to kill us!" Sprig added. "Less talky-talky, more runny-runny!" Polly shouted. We hid behind a log as the bug was looking for us. "Don't make any noise." I whispered when suddenly, Anne's face was getting covered in bugs, so she screamed and gave away, our position. "Gee, thanks Anne!" I cried sarcastically. "Hey!" She shouted.
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Back at Leopold's shop, he started to close. "Well, Loggle, another day, another step closer to bankrupt... eh?" He said as we ran into him, still fleeing from the monster. "What the... what's going on?" Leopold asked. "Don't ask questions." Anne replied as the bug started to break the door open. "What's it gonna take to get rid of this thing?" I asked as I threw a bunch of wood at the bug. "That took 20 years to carve." Leopold cried. Suddenly, Polly fought with wooden limbs and we grabbed some more items and attacked the monster. Anne found a jar filled with termites. "Termites, why would a woodsmith have termites?" Anne asked. "I'm a complicated man!" Leopold replied. Anne releases the termites and they started eating the monster until it really was a bug. "This world is messed up." I said. "We did it!" Sprig exclaimed. "That was awesome, you guys." Polly said. "Now, let's get this cane back to Hop Pop." Anne said as Leopold takes it. "Gimme that!" He ordered. "Hey, what gives, Loggle?" Polly asked. "I'll tell you what gives, this doesn't even cover the damages you've caused to my shop." Leopold replied, pointing out the destroyed shop. "You're gonna have to give me something else, c'mon pony up." Sprig grabbed the pen I gave him earlier from his pocket. "Will this work?" He sighed as Leopold examines the pen. "I like this, you can go." He said as we left the shop. "Sorry, guys, after all we worked for too." Sprig apologized. "It's okay, we'd better head home." Anne replied. "Yeah, Hop Pop's probably already awake and furious." I added. "Probably a bad time to bring this up, but I still get the candy, right?" Polly asked.
When we got back to the house, Hop Pop had just woken up. "Whoa, boy, I needed that." He said with a yawn. "Hope nothing happened while I was asleep to make me mad again, oh no, what did you do?" "What's up with canes, who even needs them these days, am I right?" Sprig asked and was punched by Polly. "We're sorry, Hop Pop, I was goofing around and I broke your favorite cane." Anne apologized. "You what?" Hop Pop asked. "I know, we'll go show ourselves out." I said as we walked toward the door together, followed by Sprig and Polly hugging us. "We'll come visit you, guys, we promise." Sprig cried. "And just when I was starting to like you!" Polly cried. "Don't make this harder than it is." Anne cried. "What's going on?" Hop Pop asked confused. "You're throwing us out, you know, like you said you would." I replied. "Rowena, Anne, truth be told, I was never gonna throw you out, I was just talking tough so that you'd show me a little bit more respect." He explained. "That's kinda messed up, man." Anne said. "Yeah, I probably was a little too harsh." He laughed. "But I only did it because you remind me of myself when I was your age, rough around the edges, now, put those bags down, ladies, you're not going anywhere!" "Thanks, Hop Pop." Anne said. "So you're not mad about the cane?" I asked. "Oh I'm furious about the cane." Hop Pop yells. "You're both on dish duty for a month!" "Yes, sir!" We shouted in unison. "Now that that's settled, I wrote a long list of comebacks to get you back for this morning." Hop Pop cleared his throat. "Hey, Anne, is that your hair, or is it a dandelion?" "Are those long, lanky limbs, Rowena, or are those, uh, twigs?" Sprig coughs in boredom. "The moment has passed, hasn't it?" Hop Pop asked. We all nodded.
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