after spending the afternoon together, changbin knew he had to bring felix home, but not to his home. he knew he had to bring felix back to a place he would dread returning to, his grandmother's house.

changbin checked his phone before starting up the car, seeing the messages from felixs mother about her return.

before felixs grandmother passed away, she made it a point of not telling felix his mother was coming back, and she made changbin promise not to say anything either. changbin was the only one who knew, hence why she was messaging him.

"are you okay, binnie?" felix asked as changbin let out a heavy sigh while starting up the car.

"uh- yeah, why?" he questioned as he began to pull out of the parking lot.

"you seem off after you read something there on your phone. did someone say something to you? are your parents mad because you stayed out late on a school night?" felix questioned, his mind turning dark in the process.

changbin stifled a small laugh over felixs concern, "relax bokkie, my family would never get mad at me knowing im with you."

"they like me?" felix questioned with a soft smile beginning to form on his face.

"like you? they love you! my mom keeps telling me to bring you over soon for dinner, and not just to sleep in my bed... would you like that?" changbin asked as he placed his hand over felixs that was tapping away nervously on his own thigh.

"oh... well yeah! i feel kind of bad i've stayed over your house so much lately but hardly ever speak to your mom or dad." felix frowned as he thought about the reality of it.

"it's not your fault, they're hardly ever home anyways." changbin admitted, "over the weekend though it should be better, so you should definitely come over."

"okay, i'd like that." felix smiled, "am i staying at your house tonight? none of the other boys mentioned me staying with them... plus i feel weird asking to stay with them, i feel weird even asking you."

"actually no..." changbin trailed off and felix looked out the window at their surroundings, they were not on their way to any of their friends houses.

"no changbin... why are you doing this? you guys promised i wouldn't be alone! did i upset you? was i too much? i'll sleep on a couch, a floor! i don't care, just please, you can't leave me alone." felix grabbed onto changbins arms as his pleas pierced through the boys ear drums. it hurt changbin to hear so much despair laced through felixs every breath.

"im staying here with you tonight, don't worry, felix." changbin said, hoping felix would stop tensing up so much, but it was no use.

"felix? you called me felix... if i shouldn't worry then you should have called me bokkie. why did you call me felix? you only say that when it's serious. what happened changbin?" felix was overthinking every syllable that left changbins lips, and changbin knew this, he knew he now had to tell the boy the truth.

"felix, your mom is here." changbin admitted as he slowly pulled up in front of felixs house and put his car into park.

felix sat there silently, his eyes wide, but filled with tears, and his brows furrowed.

"bokkie?" changbin questioned as he cupped the boys face.

"why?" felix asked.

"what?"

"why didn't you tell me? why did you know and not me? why is she here? why in this house? why after all this time does she finally show up?" felix posed all the questions in his head, rattling them off quicker than changbin could process.

"you're not a legal adult yet, felix, you need a guardian still." changbin tried to reason with the boy, but he was already shaking his head before changbin finished his sentence.

"she's not fit to be a guardian. she is the shell of my mother but other than that she is all empty inside. do you know how painful it is to look her in the eyes and see nothing but pain behind them?

she doesn't want to be alive anymore than i do... she's so empty. so cold. i cant be near her. i did it for the summer and it was torture. i love her, but that's not my mother anymore." felix explained as he pointed towards the house they were about to enter.

"she's trying felix, your grandmother told-"

"don't you dare speak of my grandmother." felix snapped.

"felix," changbin reached over to grab the boys hand, but felix pulled away aggressively, slamming his elbow on the car door behind him. he slightly winced in pain, but tried his best not to let changbin see that.

"felix, please let me explain this. you asked a bunch of questions and i have answers." changbin stated, but felix kept shaking his head, tears now streaming down his cheeks.

"GOD FELIX JUST LISTEN TO ME!" changbin shouted and immediately felix froze.

changbin let out a deep breath, trying to calm himself down so he didn't say anything else he'd regret later. especially now that he already regretted yelling at the fragile boy before him.

"i love you, i've told you this over and over again. i love you, i love you, i love you. do you really think i hid this from you because i wanted to hurt you?

your grandmother made me promise not to tell you because she knew you would react like this. your mom is trying to be here for you. she didn't want to come to korea, but she wanted you to stay with your friends.

she's not some wonderfully lady now, i know that. this is literally the bare minimum, but at least you get to stay here... with me." changbin admitted the last part knowing it was slightly selfish.

"with you?" felix let out a soft chuckle, "i hate you." he said as he went to hit the latter in the arm.

"no you don't," changbin grabbed felixs hand before he could hit him, "you love me, just like i love you."

changbin slowly leaned in, intertwining his fingers with felixs as their lips touched softly. it felt like a first kiss, butterflies entering their systems and fireworks exploding around them.

their chemistry would always go unmatched. no matter how many times they kiss, it would always feel like the first. it would always feel new and exciting.

the anticipation would never leave, and neither would the passion. changbin knew felix was special and vise versa.

it was as if they were two halves of one soul, twin flames with a burning passion for one another. they would rather die with that fire inside them than lose it altogether.

"please trust me," changbin said his lips still slightly pressed against felixs.

felix chose not to respond with words, as his desires took over in the heat of the moment. he gripped his hand onto the back of changbins neck and pulled him in impossibly close for a much deeper kiss.

felix was never angry with changbin. he never could be. instead, all the rage he felt turned into a passion that burned deep inside his heart... a craving for an infinite amount of epic moments with the boy he loves.

he was afraid of losing what was right before him. the raven haired boy and the blonde with dusting of freckles, a match made in heaven, but both afraid they would truly just be ill fated.

a.n.

i went scatterbrained at the end... did that make sense? i hope so 🧎‍♂️

i didn't proof read btw because my sister is rushing me to go get coffee with her... sorry if there are any typos!!