the following morning, felix woke up with heavy eyes that craved sleep. he got close to an hour of sleep in total, constantly waking up during the night from nightmares flashing terrifying images through his mind.

felix slowly slipped out of changbin's arms that were snugly wrapped around his small frame, making it a bit difficult to not cause the boy to stir. luckily for felix, changbin was quite exhausted from staying up late and the slight movement did not bother him too much.

felix walked over to the kitchen, grabbing himself a glass of water, and sat at the small dining room table as he waited for the others to awaken.

as he sat there by himself, he heard footsteps approaching the kitchen, and began to be thankful someone else was awake to distract him from his intrusive thoughts.

"oh, good morning sunshine, you're up early." felix looked up and saw chan standing before him.

"you're up early too." felix replied with a small smile.

"i actually went to bed at a reasonable hour last night for the first time in like a century, of course i am up early." chan laughed, but felix only gave a small sympathy chuckle, "you feeling okay?"

"as okay as i can be." felix shrugged, not sure why he couldn't find the energy to hide his sadness this morning.

"i know felix, i know it hurts. you don't have to hide that from me." chan took a seat across the table from felix and put out his hands for felix to grab onto.

hesitantly, felix reached across and his hands met with chan's, "i miss being close to you." chan said to him once their fingertips touched gently and slowly chan's hands wrapped around felix's smaller ones.

"what do you mean?" felix asked as he swallowed dry from the nerves that were building within him.

"i ruined everything between us... i'm sorry." chan said, seeming sincere.

"no you didn't, we're fine chan, don't worry so much." felix tried to reassure him, but chan adamantly shook his head to disagree.

"don't give me that bullshit felix, be angry with me." chan said in a begging sort of way. he needed felix to be angry with him, maybe even hate him.

"why do you want me to be angry with you?" felix pulled his hands away from chan, not liking the direction their conversation was going.

"because... i need you to be angry." chan said as tears welled in his eyes, "i don't deserve your forgiveness, we both know that."

"chan i thought we went through this already..." felix sighed, "we had that kiss... aren't you over me? haven't we moved on from what happened?"

"i can't move on... from any of it." chan said, but both boys were unaware of the set of ears that were just beginning to pry into the conversation.

"what do you mean chan?" felix asked, but he had a feeling where this was headed.

"i am still in love with you, that kiss... it did nothing for me. i thought it would help if i felt you hardly even kiss back... but you did kiss back. i still love you and i don't know how to stop." chan explained to felix.

"you expected me not to kiss back? you asked for a kiss, chan... i'm sorry if i-"

"you two kissed? when?" seungmin cut in, having heard enough of that part of the conversation.

both chan and felix sat there frozen.

"well is someone going to answer me?" seungmin asked, his voice growing a bit louder.

"shh seungmin, the others are still sleeping." chan tried to hush the latter.

"oh, you don't want them to hear that their little angel is leading people on? you know that's what he is doing to you right?" seungmin said, the anger beginning to rise within him.

"seungmin, stop it." chan said angrily.

"why are you getting mad at me? because i am right? why am i always the bad guy for being honest!?" seungmin asked as he flailed his arms.

felix sat there, his head down, staring into his lap. he had nothing to say. he knew seungmin was at least partially right.

"i'm sorry..." felix mumbled, but seungmin just scoffed.

"sorry? you're sorry? you're going to hurt changbin if you keep doing this. don't you see how jealous he gets? it's not just about you felix. i get you're hurting, but you have to think of other people's feelings too." seungmin said, trying to keep himself out of the equation, but chan and felix had already picked up on it.

"don't use changbin to deflect from yourself." chan cut in.

"wh-what?" seungmin asked.

"you know you're also talking about yourself." chan stated, "you like me, don't you seungmin?"

"what's going on in here?" changbin asked as he walked into the kitchen, the rest of the boy's following behind him.

"did you know chan and felix kissed?" seungmin asked, shocking everyone besides changbin.

changbin stared down at the floor, answering seungmin's question without any words needed.

"how are you okay with that? you're in love with felix! you have always been jealous of chan and felix's relationship, and you just let felix do these things? it's wrong! you know that, right?" seungmin shouted as the tears pricked at his eyes, his insides burning with rage.

"seungmin, it's fine, you don't know the full story." changbin expressed to him.

"the full story? you're just excusing his actions like always. i get it, felix is depressed, he attempted to harm himself, but he isn't the only one with feelings. why must you invalidate everyone else's feelings in the process of making felix feel better?" seungmin asked, and everyone sat there puzzled.

"i'm s-sorry..." felix stood up, running out the door, not even glancing behind him. changbin sucked his teeth at seungmin before running after felix.

"that wasn't right seungmin..." hyunjin shook his head at the latter.

"what..." seungmin had doe eyes, glossy from tears that looked at the rest of his friends.

"you're being such an ass today seungmin. what did felix do to you? he just lost his grandmother." minho snapped at him.

"but i-- i didn't... i didn't mean to hurt him... i--" seungmin stuttered out, realizing the harm he had caused.

"save it seungmin, felix didn't do anything wrong. i asked him to kiss me. i thought it would help me get over him." chan said to the boy, trying to keep his anger at bay.

"i should have known i would never win against felix. i don't even know why i like you..." seungmin felt the tears roll down his cheeks, "i'm sorry for the pain i have caused. i let my jealousy get the best of me. i'll stop liking you once and for all chan... i'm sorry."

"seungmin wait--" jeongin knew what seungmin was going through, he felt it once with hyunjin and changbin, he was the only one who had sympathy for the boy.

"no, it's okay. i should probably go apologize to felix. i'm just sorry i'm not him." seungmin turned to chan to say the last part before he walked out of changbin's house, tears streaming down his cheeks like rivers.

"what do we do now?" jisung asked the group, afraid of what had just gone down.

"chan do you even feel a little bit of remorse? you got mad at felix for "using you", but you've been using seungmin this entire time. it was so obvious he liked you and you never addressed it." jeongin shot at the boy.

"i--" chan couldn't think of how to respond.

"and minho, don't tell me you have never been jealous when it comes to jisung. you used to snap when people were too affectionate with him before you two were dating.

seungmin may have gone about this in the wrong way, but he's hurting. felix is hurting too, which we cannot ignore knowing his mental state... but none of you stopped to consider seungmin's mental state... or changbin's when he and felix ended things... or chan's when he said those hurtful words to felix the first time around.

can't you see not everyone is doing well? there are other depressed people besides felix, seungmin was right about that. we have to be considerate of everyone, not just the one we are fully aware of." jeongin said, hinting at his own mental state in the process.

"innie..." hyunjin started, but was unsure of how to finish.

"let's just clean our stuff up and head home so changbin and lix can come back here and not have to worry about this mess." jeongin instructed and no one protested it.

a.n.

i'm curious as to everyone's thoughts about this argument...

whose side are you on?

who did you agree with?

any other thoughts/ opinions?