minho drove the boys to changbin's house and they all entered waiting for the rest of the group to arrive.

felix claimed he was fine with the other boys coming, but he didn't sound very convincing. nonetheless, jisung alerted the rest of the group of what happened and told them to stop by changbin's house.

"lix, are you sure you're fine with everyone being here?" minho asked worriedly.

"mhmmm..." felix hummed for the one hundredth time that night.

"you all can stay over tonight, does that sound alright felix?" changbin asked the latter.

"sleepover?" felix questioned, and changbin nodded his head.

"it's just my mom home tonight, my dad is away on a business trip so she likes having the extra company." changbin explained.

"hmm..." felix nodded as he curled up on the couch beside changbin, nuzzling his head into the crook of the raven haired boy's neck.

"felix, you don't have to stay awake for the rest of the boys, you can go to sleep." changbin suggested to the latter, but felix just shrugged his shoulders.

changbin let out a heavy sigh, slightly frustrated with how numb to everything felix seemed. he gave no indication of what he wanted in that moment, and that was what made changbin the most upset. he was so afraid of doing something that would upset felix, but felix was not helping him in the slightest.

before long, the other boys arrived and piled into changbin's small home to comfort felix. jeongin ran in ahead of everyone and attacked felix into a hug, shocking the rest of the group.

no one knew jeongin had it in him to show affection to someone. it wasn't like him to hug anyone, but for felix, it was exactly what he needed.

felix allowed jeongin to squeeze the life out of him with a bear hug, melting into the boy's touch more and more as the hug persisted.

"i'm so sorry lix." jeongin said to the boy softly.

"it's not your fault jeongin, don't apologize." felix responded, those few words being the most he had spoken since he received the call from nurse chae.

"but i'm still sorry," jeongin said as he pulled away from the hug to look felix in the eyes, "you don't deserve to always feel like this."

"you don't know what i'm feeling." felix stifled a small laugh, his eyes glancing down to avoid locking with jeongin's.

"you're right, i don't. i'm sorry." jeongin sighed before walking away from felix to sit down on the couch opposite of felix.

"hey lix," hyunjin smiled halfheartedly as he walked over to the boy, "i'm sorry for your loss."

"none of you have to be sorry," felix spoke to the group, "i don't want to hear your apologies for something that is not your fault, okay? just spend time with me, take my mind off of it... i don't want to cry, i don't want to feel the pain of it. i just need to forget it."

"forget it? felix... you can't just shut out the pain." jisung said worriedly.

"yes i can and i will... whether you all will help me or not." felix was being very adamant about this.

changbin worried felix would be broken by his grandmother's death, but this response was unexpected and quite frankly concerned him even more. it is impossible to shut out those kinds of feelings forever. it was just a matter of time before felix inevitably broke down over this.

felix was now a time bomb waiting to explode, and the day that final happens is one the entire group will learn to be afraid of.

"hey sunshine, why don't we watch a movie? would you want to do that?" chan suggested.

"only if i get to pick!" felix said excitedly as he ran over to chan, sitting on the couch with him and clinging on to his arm.

changbin felt the anger bubble within him, but he tried not to show it. the last thing felix needed was changbin blowing up at him, and of course changbin knew that.

felix's intentions were never to upset anyone, especially not changbin, but often times he gets so wrapped up in small bursts of happiness, he ignores the consequences his actions may have.

"okay bokkie, what movie?" changbin asked, trying to remain as calm as possible, even though he wanted more than anything for felix to be clinging at his side and not chan's.

"oh ummm..." felix heard the nickname ring through his ears and he stared beside him at the boy who has mentioned he has feelings for him and then back at the boy who is in love with him and whom he loves back.

"come on sunshine, you were so excited a minute ago, you must have a movie in mind!" chan encouraged happily, messing up felix's hair teasingly.

"hey, not the hair!" felix laughed.

"felix, pick a movie." seungmin cut in harshly, making felix's eyes snap over to him.

felix noticed the slight anger shown in seungmin's facial expression, and instantly he began to wonder what he could have done wrong. felix began looking around the room, trying to see if anyone else was upset with him, and the only other person with a similar facial expression to seungmin was changbin.

"binnie," felix said, making changbin look over at the blonde haired boy, "i bet you can guess what movie i want to watch!"

"i can guess it?" changbin questioned, and felix just nodded his head.

"you always know me the best!" felix smiled, "and if you get it right, i'll give you a gift!"

"a gift? felix, we're supposed to making you feel better, not the other way around." changbin laughed at felix's sudden change in demeanor.

"but you seem upset too, so let me help!" felix smiled, making changbin let out a heavy sigh upon realization he can not hide his jealousy as well as he thought he could.

"fine... when you're sad your go to movie to watch is an anime called a silent voice." changbin stated.

"correct!" felix cheered, "now you can pick your prize!"

"i pick you sitting beside me for the entire movie." changbin said as he put out his arms for felix to run into.

chan felt felix's hands untangle from around his arm and he watched as the boy ran happily towards changbin.

changbin wrapped his arms around felix's small frame and placed a gentle kiss on top of the boy's head. chan rolled his eyes involuntarily, wishing that was him instead of changbin with felix.

"so put on the movie now." seungmin cut in once again, feeling himself begin to seethe over the sight of chan so fixated on felix even though he knows he can never have the boy the way he wants him.

"right, as you wish!" changbin said as he began to play the movie.

"hey bokkie," changbin whispered to the boy beside him, "stop hiding your emotions for everyone else's sake. i like it better when i can see the real you."

"the real me?" felix questioned.

"the real you is sad right now and that's okay, no one thinks you're weak because of it. no one finds you to be a burden or a mess, we all love you regardless of what emotional state you're in.

while you're in my arms during this movie, i want you to let everything out. it's okay to be sad felix. you suffered a terrible loss today, and for that i am sorry whether you want me to be or not.

i cannot just forget this happened and you shouldn't either. the others may not know how you're feeling, but you know i do.

i lost someone too, and i can't tell you it gets easier... because i'm no sure it does... but eventually it's not the only thing you ever think about and you're able to live again." changbin said, making felix tear up as the movie began to play.

he watched the opening seen of the main character that foreshadows events that occur later in the movie and the tears just began to flow with no sign of stopping.

felix felt safe because of changbin, he always knew just what to say and what to do to make the latter feel at ease.

"t-thank you..." felix muttered, crying so much his vision had blurred and he couldn't see the television screen. he turned to burying his head in changbin's chest, and allowed for the boy to rub his back gently, trying to soothe him while he sobbed.

changbin was right, none of the other boys knew how felix felt, besides changbin. changbin somehow always knew just what felix was going through, and that alone provided comfort to felix.

but there was something about the way changbin spoke to felix and all the little things he did to help that boy that made felix feel truly loved and at home when he was around changbin.

"you never have to thank me, my love." changbin said softly, continuing to rub his hand gently over the boy's back.

a.n.

a longer chapter this time

also i'm still anxious but you guys don't have to worry, it's just bc i'm procrastinating my assignments!!