tw// please read with caution!! mentions of death and self harm/suicide

the boys piled back into their cars after a long day at the amusement park. hyunjin was dragged onto every ride in existence by jeongin, while minho and jisung decided to only go on the simplest of rides to not increase their anxiety levels.

as for changbin, felix, seungmin, and chan, they all were in a similar situation. they tried some bigger, scarier rides, but also went on some safer ones.

by the end of the day, everyone was exhausted and most had sore throats from all the screaming.

it was time to head back in the cars they came in, and now hyunjin and minho were regretting being the drivers, everyone just wanted to get some sleep.

changbin and felix sat in the back of minhos car, knocking out almost immediately after they sat down. jisung stayed up for a few extra minutes with minho, but in the end he couldn't keep his eyes opened for that long.

while asleep, felixs phone began to ring, causing him to jolt awake.

he quickly answered it to not disturb changbin or jisung and kept his voice at a low volume so they wouldn't hear him.

"hello?" felix answered, not even paying attention to what the caller id was.

"felix... it's nurse chae, where are you right now?" she asked, seeming a bit off.

"im on my way home, why? is something wrong?" felix questioned, a sinking feeling entering his chest.

"you should come to the hospital, y-your grandma isn't doing too well today." nurse chae explained.

"oh... um... okay, i can be there soon." felix spoke calmly, seeming fine on the outside, but on the inside he was screaming.

"good, get here as fast as you can felix." nurse chae's words threw felix into a whirlwind of thoughts. he had no idea how bad his grandmother was... but he could make his guesses.

felix hung up the phone and stared out the window, his eyes huge from shock.

"hey felix," minho called out to him, noticing his change in demeanor, "who just called you?"

"my grandmothers nurse." felix responded simply.

"is everything okay?" minho questioned.

"c-can you drive me to the hospital?" felixs eyes began to well with tears, and that's how minho knew this was serious. they all knew felixs grandmother was sick, and they all dreaded this day's arrival.

"yes, of course." minho said as he placed a bit more pressure on the gas pedal and started heading towards the hospital.

felixs sniffling beside changbin caused the boy to begin to stir in the back seat.

"you okay lix?" changbin picked his head up and looked over at the clearly disheveled boy.

"mhmm..." felix hummed, not even slightly turning to face the latter.

"felix, i know that's not true. what's wrong?" changbin said, cupping the boys face gently to turn felix to look him in the eyes.

"m-my grandma is in the hospital." felix admitted, feeling his body beginning to shake.

"oh lix..." changbin sighed as he wrapped his arms around the latter, allowing felix to cry into his arms.

he knew felix was scared of what was wrong, but changbin also knew this was probably felixs grandmothers final moments.

felix knew that too.

minho drove as fast as he could manage, but it would never be fast enough.

once the boys eventually made it to the hospital, felix and changbin sprinted ahead of everyone else and asked where her room was.

once they finally got there, felix saw what no one expected.

"3...2...1... clear!" felix watched the doctors shock his grandmothers chest and then began doing cpr once again.

"i think it's time to call it," a doctor spoke, but felix bursted into the room.

"NO! YOU CANT CALL IT, KEEP TRYING." felix shouted, making all the doctors stare in shock.

"who let him in here? get him out!" the doctor yelled, "let's try one more time."

a nurse tried to pull felix out of the room, but he fought as hard as he could against her.

"3..2..1... clear!" the doctor called out again, "still nothing... we have to call it now."

"no!" felix cried out, the tears pouring from his eyes as he broke free of the nurses grasp and he began doing cpr on his grandmother.

"you can't call it, keep trying!" he yelled as he did the chest compressions, "please! she's all i have!"

felix wouldn't stop, even when he heard the doctor say, "time of death, 22:05."

"felix..." changbin said weakly as he watched felix become immersed in the attempt of saving his grandmother.

"i can save her, i have to save her." felix stated, not stopping for even a moment.

"felix, she's gone. they called the time of death, there's nothing more you can do." changbin tried to bring felix back to reality, but it was no use.

"SHES NOT DEAD YET!" felix shouted, "I DIDNT EVEN SAY GOODBYE!"

the tears poured out of felix as reality slowly began to hit him.

"felix, im sorry... but she's gone." changbin said, just wanting felix to let in all the pain, and stop torturing himself by trying to save someone who is already dead.

"she— she can't be gone!" felixs arms began to slow down and eventually he just crashed, laying on top of his grandmother, begging to hear a heart beat.

"i didn't get to say goodbye... why couldn't you have held on for ten more minutes? mimi... i need you! you promised me you'd always stay by my side... why would you leave without saying goodbye?" felix cried out into his mimi's chest, unable to peel himself away from her.

jisung and minho finally caught up to the boys, and immediately their hearts sank when they saw felix.

"how could you?" felix cried out, "why would you leave me? why does everyone leave me?"

changbins eyes began to well with tears, along with jisung. minho tried to stay strong, knowing felix would at least need one person not to give him a look of pity.

"hey felix," minho called out, but felix didn't answer.

"mimi... i still need you, please come back. i'm not ready to be alone. i cant do this without you. i don't even want to live... you know that. why do you get to die? this isn't fair, i cant keep doing this anymore!" felixs words made changbin's entire body shake.

changbin ran out of the room, tears streaming down his face and a feeling of nausea washing over him.

felix is gone, was his only thought and he didn't know if he would ever get him back.

a.n.

i'm not sure i like this chapter either ughhhh

i like them when i write them and then i finish and i hate them

wtf is that!!!