everyone besides felix sat down at the lunch table, and four boys showed up with worried looks on their faces.

"what's wrong?" jeongin asked as the group sat down.

"where's felix?" jisung asked as he looked around the lunch room.

"he went home." seungmin let out a heavy sigh as he sat down.

"went home? what? when?" chan questioned anxiously. although he was secretly upset with the boy, he still cared deeply for him.

"second period, we were hardly even half way through class when he just stood up and left." seungmin explained, "is something wrong with him?"

"i'm afraid there is." chan sad softly as he stared down at his food.

"well we know felix struggles with his mental health, is it just that?" hyunjin asked.

"yeah, it's definitely his mental health." minho scoffed.

"okay, what's that supposed to mean?" jeongin asked as the worry began to wash over him.

"he said... some rather... morbid things to us today." jisung spoke up.

"morbid how?" seungmin questioned.

"well chan asked if he was okay, he asked us if he looked okay... i honestly told him he looked like shit and he said he felt like shit." minho explained to the group.

"and then when we asked what happened, he said he woke up this morning." jisung added with a shaky voice.

"he woke up this morning?" hyunjin questioned like he didn't understand it.

"he meant he wished he didn't." chan mumbled.

"wished he didn't? then he'd be dead." hyunjin said, clearly oblivious to what was going on.

"that's the fucking point dipshit!" seungmin stated as he reached behind changbin's back to smack hyunjin's head.

"ow!" hyunjin groaned in pain.

"get over it." seungmin spat.

"do you think felix is going to harm himself?" jeongin asked, his face showing how worried he was.

the three boys who originally heard the remark stayed silent. would he harm himself? was the real question that no one knew the answer to.

"he would." changbin stated when he realized no one else was going to speak up.

"oh wow you actually have something to add to the conversation, and it's that." chan said with venom on his tongue.

"it's true, just check his wrists for the scars." changbin said with no emotion, scaring his friends slightly as they wondered how one could lack so much empathy.

"changbin," hyunjin muttered to the boy, "why are you saying it like that?"

"like what? i'm just saying the truth." changbin shrugged as he played with the food in front of him. he hadn't eaten a bite of it.

"how did felix ever even love you?" chan asked through a clenched jaw.

"i wonder the same thing every fucking day." changbin smiled sarcastically at the boy.

"changbin..." hyunjin frowned, "you deserve to be loved by him."

"yeah... no i didn't." changbin shook his head, "but this is about felix. you guys need to do something, seriously."

"you guys? what about you?" minho questioned the latter.

"felix and i aren't speaking and if you asked him he'd probably say this is my fault. one of you needs to speak to him." changbin explained to the group.

"i'll do it!" jeongin volunteered, but hyunjin immediately shut that down.

"i don't know if that's such a good idea innie..."

"what? why not?" jeongin questioned.

"he's right jeongin," seungmin added, "he told those three. not us. if one of us talks to him, then it shows he had every right not to trust us in the past. if we want him to continue to trust us it has to be either minho, chan, or jisung."

"not jisung." changbin stifled a laugh.

"hey, i can be comforting!" jisung crossed his arms as a pout formed on his face.

"jisung, you have your own crippling anxiety to worry about." changbin stated bluntly.

"not fair..." jisung muttered under his breath.

"so either me or chan." minho said.

"it has to be chan." changbin interjected.

"what? why me?"

"because you're the only one that will get through to him," changbin told the latter, "as much as i hate to admit that..."

"why is it always me? i always have to listen to him go off about you and i can never help him!" chan said angrily.

"fine, if you don't think you can save him, then don't. just don't cry around me when you realized that you should've done something, i won't show you any sympathy." changbin spat at the boy.

"i can save him!" chan said, going back on his previous word.

"what happened to you could never help him?" changbin cocked an eyebrow at the latter.

"fuck you," chan shouted at the boy, "i'm going to save him!"

with that, chan stormed out of the lunch room, leaving the rest of the boys baffled by what had just happened. they all then turned to changbin for an explanation.

"the only way to get him to go was by me telling him he couldn't do it. we all know he's our only hope of saving felix. don't look at me like i'm the bad guy!" changbin defended himself.

"you're not the bad guy changbin," minho shook his head, "no... you're just the idiot who won't admit that he's in love with his ex."

"i'm not in love with felix, drop it." changbin said through grit teeth.

"you both need each other, i don't understand why you're making this so difficult." jisung rolled his eyes.

"HE DOESN'T NEED ME!" changbin shouted, and then shut his eyes and took a deep breath to calm himself down before speaking again.

"he deserves better than me. he can't love me. he shouldn't love me. i don't deserve it!" changbin's voice began to shake as the veins in his neck popped out from frustration.

tears began to well in his eyes and the rest of the boys noticed how close he was to breaking down. hyunjin reached out his hand for changbin to grab onto and hoped the boy would calm down.

jeongin watched from the corner of his eye and felt a ping send right through his heart. he knew changbin relied heavily on hyunjin, but it didn't mean he'd be any less jealous of it now that he and hyunjin were on good terms.

"alright bin, alright," minho stated, "we won't bring it up anymore, okay?"

changbin just nodded as he began to relax once more, sitting back in his seat as he gripped on tightly to hyunjin's hand.

"do you really think chan can save him?" jisung asked as the anxiety began to set in.

"depends," changbin spoke, "if chan is still the same guy we knew last year, then yeah, he'll save him easily."

"and if he's changed?" minho questioned.

"then i'm not so sure felix can be saved."

a.n.

imma start asking questions here so my a.n's aren't so self centered jeezzzzz

what's your favorite song and why?

my current favorite song is innocent love by astro and i can't exactly explain why. i like the meaning of the song and it's just super pretty so i guess that's my reasoning

i also love fam by skz when i'm in a good mood because that song just screams good vibes and makes me appreciate skz so so much. they are literally just hyping each other up in that song, it's so fucking cute!!

also is there a go to song for when your sad?

my go to sad song is pretty much any troye sivan song, specifically post card, fools, ease, the quiet, and suburbia... or i love you by billie eilish

i have a hard time picking just one oops