the day of minho's "party" came at a snails pace. felix had been worrying ever since his little tiff with chan, he even missed a day of school to avoid the boy.

felix didnt know what chan thought of him at this point and he didn't really know what he thought of chan. lately it seemed like their friendship wasn't the same and it honestly hurt felix for them to be falling apart like everything else in his life.

nonetheless, felix got ready for the party and waited for jeongin to come by his house so they could walk to minho's together.

felix decided to dress simply since it was just their close friends going to minho's house. he wore black jeans, a light blue sweater, and his platform doc martens that made him feel tall.

he decided against any makeup to cover up his freckles, he couldn't help but think of all the times changbin complimented his freckles in the past.

felix smiled as he looked at himself in the mirror, for once admiring his freckles instead of hating them.

his moment of bliss was ruined by intrusive thoights that sprung up unannounced, reminding him he no longer has changbin and he seems to be losing chan now too.

felt felt his scars through his jeans. he had stayed away from hurting himself the last few nights, but as the sadness creeped up, he felt an urge to do it again.

thankfully, jeongin arrived and his grandmother called him down stairs to greet the boy.

"hey innie," felix greeted with a half-hearted smile.

"hey lix, ready to go?" jeongin asked, deciding against calling out felix in front of his grandmother. felix just nodded and followed jeongin out his front door.

"okay what's wrong?" jeongin asked as soon as they were out of hearing range for felix's grandmother.

"nothing." felix said simply.

"i don't know why you think lying to me is okay, but i won't pry it out of you." jeongin shrugged as he kept on walking.

"hey," felix frowned, "you said that to make me feel guilty!"

"maybe i did, maybe i didn't." jeongin said nonchalantly.

"ugh innie!" felix groaned.

"yes felix?"

"fine, i was upset because... well i don't really know, but i was sad for a moment. just a moment though, i'll be okay." felix explained to the latter.

"i know you'll be okay, you're lee felix... my best friend and the strongest person i know!" jeongin smiled as he wrapped his arms around felix's shoulders, "have i told you lately that i'm proud of you? because i am felix, i'm very proud of you."

"t-thank you." felix blushed slightly, feeling overwhelmed from jeongin's support.

"so be honest, there was really nothing to trigger your saddness?" jeongin asked the boy.

"well, i just started thinking about changbin and chan... i don't know, i just feel like i'm losing both of them now." felix shrugged.

"you're not losing anyone, got it lix? we're all friends whether we're getting along right now or not. everythign will be okay soon, it has to be." jeongin said confidently.

"you really think things will be okay between all of us?" felix asked.

"i do. i'm getting over my anger towards hyunjin, and it seems like you are too. you never held a grudge against changbin, and i guess i'll accept it's not his fault that hyunjin doesn't like me back. also, neither of us have any problems with the other boys so really the only people i worry about tearing our friend group apart are changbin and chan."

"changbin and chan? why?"

"there's clearly some sort of issue between them that they need to work out. ever since you came back from australia things between them have just been so weird. it's as if chan likes you or something." jeongin laughed.

"that's impossible, chan could never like me." felix said adamently.

"you better hope you're right. i just know if he had feelings for you... things would not turn out well." jeongin shook his head and shuddered at the thought.

"alright, let's stop talking about it... we're here anyway." felix said as he walked up to minho's door and knocked on it.

felix and jeongin were the final two boys to arrive, meaning everyone else was already sat with drinks in their hands waiting for them.

"finally innie is here!" hyunjin said excitedly as he rushed over to wrap his arms around the boy.

"okay, how is he already drunk?" jeongin asked as he stood there helplessly with hyunjin in his arms.

"he got here way too fucking early." minho rolled his eyes as he massaged his temples, joking that he had a headache.

"hey felix," chan called out as he patted the seat beside him.

felix looked towards chan with uncertainty, but walked over anyways. he sat down on the couch, feeling changbin's eyes on him as he did so. he heard changbin let out a sigh before he stood up and walked into the kitchen.

felix had no time to wonder what could be wrong with changbin since chan had began speaking to the boy, "so.. about the other day,"

"it's fine chan, we don't have to discuss it." felix stated.

"but i want to."

"well i don't. i forgive you if you were even going to say sorry, let's just forget it okay?" felix asked.

"i am sorry sunshine." chan sighed.

"all is forgiven, now if you don't mind, i'm going to go grab a drink." felix stated as he stood up.

"i thought you didn't like drinking?" chan questioned as he held onto the boys wrist.

"i need to drink water to survive." felix said as he shook chan off of him and walked off into the kitchen, completely forgetting changbin had walked in there just a few moments prior.

a.n.

even if you don't stan bts, please listen to blue & grey...

also read the translation because ouch.