knowing everything was mental health related, the hospital decided to keep felix over night for observation.

felix's grandmother came to visit him briefly, but he assured her he was fine and made her go home to rest.

feeling sat there feeling even more lonely than usual, he hated being alone. he never slept well when he felt like he was alone. he didn't necessarily need someone in the same bed, although it was his favorite thing to be able to cuddle someone, he just needed someone he knew close to him.

"felix..." a voice called out in the darkness of the room.

felix turned to look at the door where the voice was coming from.

"jeongin?" he questioned as he saw the silhouette standing in his door way.

"yeah, i know you don't like to be alone at night so i came to stay with you." jeongin explained to the boy.

jeongin wasn't going to tell felix that changbin was actually the one who told him to go though. changbin knew felix hated to be alone, but he felt he couldn't be the one to stay with felix himself.

"the doctors are letting you stay?" felix asked.

"no... but i managed to sneak in." jeongin said to the boy as he plopped himself down in the chair beside felix's bed.

"aren't you scared you'll get in trouble?" felix worried for the boy.

"no, it'll be fine lix. just relax." jeongin assured the boy as he reached out the hold his hand.

"wow you're holding my hand too? who are you? are you sure you're yang jeongin?" felix questioned teasingly.

"be quiet or i'll i stop being nice." jeongin said back to him.

it wasn't that jeongin was ever actually mean to felix though, he was always very thoughtful and sweet to the boy. jeongin just was never a fan of a skinship whereas felix loved it.

"so you're staying with me all night?" felix asked with doe eyes as he looked at jeongin.

"yes, i don't want you to be alone." jeongin said shyly.

"AWE INNIE CARES FOR ME!" felix cheered.

"shhhh or you will get me in trouble." jeongin hushed the latter.

"sorry..." felix whispered as he let out a giggle.

jeongin rolled his eyes but a smile had formed on his lips showing he really wasn't annoyed.

"are you tired lix?" jeongin asked the latter.

"not really... i don't usually sleep very much." felix admitted, feeling comfortable enough to be real with jeongin.

"ah i see," jeongin frowned, "is it because of your anxiety?"

felix just nodded in response, "but it's fine, it's no ones fault so there's no need to feel bad."

"it doesn't have anything to do with changbin?" jeongin asked in disbelief.

"i mean sometimes i think about him and can't sleep, but i wouldn't really say it has to do with him. it has to do with me missing him and wishing i was still with him, but it's not like it's his fault that i'm an overthinker.

i would lose sleep over him when we were together and even before we were together. nothings really changed since we broke up." felix explained to the boy.

"is losing sleep over someone healthy though?" jeongin asked as he cocked an eyebrow.

"can you sit here and tell me you haven't stayed up an extra hour waiting for hyunjin's response to a message of yours?" felix asked.

"i don't do that..." jeongin mumbled.

"oh you so do! you know that giddy feeling you get when you see his name pop up on your screen? that's what i used to lose sleep over...

that and wondering if i was good enough. changbin never did anything to cause me to doubt myself until towards the end of the relationship with hyunjin though."

"when did you notice changbin start to show more interest in hyunjin... if you don't mind me asking." jeongin said as he scratched the back of his neck nervously.

"i can't tell you an exact time frame... maybe the last month or so of our relationship. it was around them time i--" felix cut himself off, not knowing how much to share with jeongin.

"the time you what lix?" jeongin asked.

"i... it's nothing."

"it's obviously not nothing, but i won't force you to tell me. i just want you to know that i'm not like our other friends. i won't ever pressure you into opening up. i know you're sad, we all do, but harassing you into speaking about it solves nothing.

i want to help you and be there for you, but i know i need to earn that trust. if you'll let me, i'd love to be the one you can go to when things get tough. i know changbin used to be your person, but things aren't the same with him now. plus i feel like i can relate to you a lot in terms of... well when it comes to hyunjin and changbin to be honest."

"thank you innie, you have no idea how much i appreciate you." felix smiled softly towards the boy, "the time when hyunjin and changbin started to really make me question my relationship with changbin was around the same time changbin found out i was self harming again."

"what do you mean again?" jeongin asked worriedly.

"well... at the start of my relationship with changbin, he found out i was hurting myself and asked me to never do it again. for awhile after i actually didn't... then that last month of our relationship i don't know what happened to me really, but i fell apart. i started to harm myself again and when changbin found out he really wasn't too happy with me."

"maybe he blamed himself for it and thought he couldn't make you happy anymore. it's not easy to handle felix. i'm not saying it's your fault by any means, but maybe changbin just didn't know what to do anymore." jeongin spoke sincerely.

"maybe, but i wish he would've talked to me about it so i could've explained what was going on." felix let out a heavy sigh.

"listen lix, i know you say you wish he would've talked to you, but you easily could've told him. you didn't have to wait for him to ask about it." jeongin explained to the boy.

"i didn't want to burden him with even more of my problems." felix frowned as he pulled at the loose strings on his hospital blanket.

"please stop thinking of yourself as a burden lix. i know it's too late to do that with changbin, but with me... never think of yourself as a burden, i want to always be here for you." jeongin said as he gave felix's hand a gentle squeeze.

"thanks innie, i'm always here for you as well." felix smiled towards the boy.

"good," jeongin responded, "what even made you realize you liked changbin all those years ago?"

"hmm... i guess it was the way i missed him even if i saw him five minutes prior, the way i'd wait for his messages, the way he was the only one who could help me through my panic attacks... i don't know. one day it just hit me and i realized i couldn't be just friends with changbin." felix shrugged.

"oh... i see." jeongin nodded his head.

"how'd you know you liked hyunjin?" felix asked curiously.

"it's actually kind of stupid..." jeongin admitted as a blush rose to his cheeks.

"i'm sure it's not." felix assured the boy.

"oh it is," jeongin said adamantly, "i've like since our first year of high school..."

"same amount of time i've liked changbin for, it's not stupid." felix reiterated.

"well, the way i realized it was stupid... hyunjin asked me to go to the movies with him and at first i said yes, thinking of it as nothing more than friends. then we got there and all these thoughts of it being a date swarmed my brain, and i really wanted it to be a date at that point.

then when we were actually sitting in the theater watching the movie, hyunjin got scared because of course he chose horror and is the most dramatic person to ever walk the planet, and when he got scared he grabbed onto my hand.

immediately i felt butterflies in my stomach and my face flushed. i was so thankful for the it being dark in there so he couldn't see me blushing. i had never ever felt like that with anyone before... so i guess that's how i knew i liked him."

"innie, that's not stupid in the slightest. that's actually really cute." felix cooed at the boy as he gave him a slight pout.

"well it wasn't a date so i got my hopes up for nothing." jeongin shrugged.

"hmm... i feel like hyunjin has been leading you on for years. i just don't understand him." felix shook his head as he let out a slight yawn.

"are you tired lix?" jeongin laughed a bit.

"mmm for once i kind of am." felix nodded.

"okay, get some rest then." jeongin encouraged sweetly.

"okay," felix patted the spot beside him, "only if you cuddle me."

"ughhhh liiiixxxx!" jeongin groaned.

"come on, pweaseeeee." felix pouted.

"fine, but if you tell anyone i cuddled you, you're dead meat." jeongin warned the boy.

"your secrets safe with me innie. i can't risk losing the best person in my life right now." felix said as he latched onto jeongin once he climbed into the small hospital bed.

"best person in your life right now? i will always be the best person in your life, just watch." jeongin said confidently.

"sure, sure innie." felix smiled as he nuzzled into jeongin's chest.

"goodnight lix." jeongin said softly as he rubbed the boys back.

"nighty night." felix hummed as his eyes shut and his breathing began to even out. he slept quite well within the arms of his best friend. felix never felt more lucky to have jeongin in his life than in that moment.

a.n.

a bit of a longer chapter since i haven't updated this story in a few days

i adore the route im going to take with jeongin and felixs relationship in this hehe