after only a few moments in the nurses office, the abulance was being called.

it wasn't a typical thing for felix to pass out, it had never happened before actually.

the school wanted to be extra cautious and decided it would just be best for him to go to the hospital.

changbin wanted to ride in the abulance with felix, but the school said it wasn't allowed. they refused any of felixs friends to go with him.

after what felt like hours, the school day finally ended and changbin raced over to the hospital.

changbin wasn't the only one with this idea though, chan was also going, and so were the rest of their friends.

changbin got there first and ran into the room the nurse said felix was in. when he got there, he saw felix sleeping peacefully.

changbin pulled up a seat to felixs bedside and watched the steady rise and fall of the boys chest.

"please be okay." changbin said aloud. he looked at felix's hand that was laying at his side, he wanted to grab onto it.

changbin reluctantly took the boys small hand in his own, and rubbed his thumb back and forth across felix's knuckles.

he watched as felix slightly began to stir after a few minutes and his eyes began to flutter open. changbin quickly pulled his hand away and pretended to be on his phone.

"changbin?" felix questioned once his eyes opened and adjusted to the light.

"oh, you're awake." changbin pretended to be surprised.

"y-yeah..." felix sighed, "i was alone earlier." he frowned.

"im sorry about that, they wouldn't let me ride in the abulance with you." changbin sighed as he felt the urge to hold the boys hand once more.

"it's okay, it's not your fault. i honestly didn't expect to see you here at all." felix shrugged as his eyes left changbin and started to look around the room.

"do you think i just stopped caring about you since we broke up?" changbin questioned.

"i figured you would've stopped after our fight." felix said bluntly, "youre not a a good guy, you told me that yourself."

"can we not talk about that? i don't want to fight anymore." changbin frowned, wishing he had never said those words in the first place.

"yeah, fine." felix agreed.

"did the doctors say what happened to you?" changbin asked.

"uh—" felix froze, not wanting to tell changbin why he really passed out.

"please bokkie, don't lie to me." changbin reached out for felixs hand instinctively and held on tightly to the boy.

"fine, they said... they said that i um— that it was a combination of not eating and high stress levels." felix explained nervously, refusing to look over at changbin.

"bokkie, you have to eat." felix heard changbin use the nickname twice now and each time he felt his heart flutter.

"i like when you call me bokkie." felix smiled.

"and i like when you call me binnie." changbin admitted shyly.

"okay, binnie." felix smirked as he enlaced his fingers with changbin's.

changbin felt his face get hot as his nerves bubbled within him. he felt like he was falling in love with felix for the first time again, but he didn't know if he could let himself.

"ahem..." someone interrupted by clearing their throat. immediately changbin pulled away from felix and looked over at who was there.

"oh changbin, it's you." chan said through grit teeth.

"can you two please get along? i'm not

mad at changbin chan, so you shouldn't be either." felix pleaded.

"ah... you're right, im sorry sunshine." chan said sweetly, "sorry changbin."

"it's fine." changbin shrugged, not really buying that chan was actually sorry.

"the rest of the boys are here lix, do you want to see them?" chan asked.

"of course!" felix said excitedly.

"im going to head out bokkie. feel better and please rest." changbin said kindly before going to leave.

"thanks binnie." felix called out. as changbin began walking out of the room, the others started to pile in.

while felix was distracted by all of them, chan slipped out unnoticed and went after changbin.

"hey changbin," chan said as he jogged to catch up to the boy, "why don't you leave felix alone?"

"what do you mean leave him alone? we're friends..." changbin narrowed his eyes at the latter.

"friends wouldn't get other friends hospitalized." chan said coldly.

"you think this is my fault?" changbin asked, feeling completely outraged.

"well if the shoe fits." chan spat out.

"whatever chan, i don't understand why you suddenly hate me so much. we used to be close, now you're just trying to ruin friendships."

"im trying to get in through your thick skull that you broke felix!" chan shouted at the boy.

"we broke up months ago chan, enough about it! you don't even know what really happened! no one does besides hyunjin which is why he is the only one who is ever there for me!" changbin screamed back defensively.

"pfft hyunjin? of course it's hyunjin. you know felix is so jealous of him and he always thought you were cheating on him with hyunjin?" chan questioned.

"jisung told me... i never knew that. i knew he'd get jealous, but nothing like that. hyunjin and i are just friends." changbin assured chan.

"just friends? didnt you admit to liking him? didnt you kiss him on your clsss trip?" chan asked in an interrogative way.

"yes... but i realized quickly he isn't what i want." changbin stated.

"then what do you want?" chan asked.

"felix."

"felix? you want felix? after everything now you want him?" chan was growing angrier by the second.

"i know you like him, and i'm not going to try anything, but i do still like him chan." changbin explained to the boy.

"you fucking broke him changbin. you don't know half the shit he's gone through, do you?" chan questioned as he got in changbins face.

"you don't even know felix the way i do!" changbin shouted at chan as he shoved the boy away from him.

"i know him well enough! he's my best fucking friend changbin, i was there for him when you weren't!" chan spat back at changbin.

"really?" changbins toned quieted down, adding an eerie sense to his voice.

"so tell me chan, what happened to felix on november 18th last year? how did felixs father die? why is june 20th such a dreaded day for felix?

why does felix hate the smell of roses? why doesn't felix ride bikes anymore? why does he refuse to swim in the ocean?

why does felix hate spicy food? what does he do right before he has a panic attack, everytime, without fucking fail?

how do you get him out of a panic attack? fucking tell me chan, why does he live in korea and not in australia with his mother?" changbin had enough of chans slander, he completely exploded.

chan stood there, baffled by all of changbins questions. he tried to figure out where to start, but his mind went blank.

he really didn't know all he thought he did about felix.

"cant answer them can you?" changbin questioned through grit teeth, "then at least answer this... why does felixs grandmother call felix yongbok and why is she the only person he allows to do so?"

"i-i... why is that even important?" chan became frustrated, he wanted to be able to say he knew felix better than changbin.

"it's important to felix, that's the only reason it's important." changbin stated.

"okay! so tell me, why doesn't felix like long car ride—"

"he does." changbin cut chan off.

"no, he gets car sick!"

"if he's the one driving or if he's sitting in the passenger seat with music playing and food to eat, he doesn't get car sick or at least not to the point where he's miserable." changbin explained, calming down way more than chan was.

"okay... w-well... why doesn't felix like the color red?" chan asked.

"i don't know, tell me." changbin responded simply.

"he says it reminds him of anger." chan snapped back.

"okay, why is yellow his favorite color?" changbin asked the latter, chan stood there trying to think of the answer.

"it's because of you chan... you don't even know the answer to a question that has to do with you?" changbin stifled a laugh to mock chan, "you said yellow reminds you of happiness, in the ninth grade you said that... then you said felix reminds you of the color yellow. since then he's loved the color and also associates it with happiness.

your words mean so much to him which is why i was always jealous of you two, the same way lix was jealous of hyunjin and i." changbin went to walk away but chan stopped him.

"you're no better than i am! just because he opened up to you more while you two were together means nothing.

you're a manipulative scum bag who doesn't even care about him! you're the reason he's fucking hospitalized!" chan shouted, earning attention of one boy who had stepped into the hallway after hearing some muffled shouts.

"ENOUGH!" minho yelled at the two of them, "im so sick of this. what would felix think if he knew you two were competing over him? he'd fucking hate it. now be mature and be there for you friend."

changbin and chan knew minho was right. they were being childish. yet they let their petty feelings get in the way of what was really important all along...

felix.

"whatever, im going home." changbin stormed off, and chan went to yell something at him, but minho grabbed him and slapped his hand over the boys mouth.

"enough chan," minho sighed, "enough. what happened to my best friend? you've changed... and it's for the worst."

chan stood there as minho walked back into felixs room.

he had changed, and he knew it wasn't in a good way.

a.n.

this is the longest chapter i've written i think...