felix and chan walked inside the small café and took a seat towards the back, away from everyone else.

"i'll go order the drinks." chan said, "french vanilla macchiato?"

"yes, but here let me give you the money first." felix said as he went digging in his pocket for his wallet.

"no, no, no, today is on me." chan insister and walked away before felix could scold him.

felix sat down, and awkwardly waited for chan to return.

he took out his phone and began going through all the notifications he had missed since he was sleeping for most of the day.

felix saw a message from jisung asking for felix to hangout with him and minho, so he responded with his whereabouts and invited the boys to join him and chan.

"hey sunshine, here's your drink." chan smiled as he walked back over.

"thank you!" felix sang, "so jisung and minho are going to join us. jisung had texted me earlier, but i was sleeping so i didn't see it."

"okay, that's fine with me. do you think we should invite jeongin and seungmin too?" chan questioned and felix nodded excitedly.

"yes, i definitely think we should!" he smiled happily.

"okay, i'll text them and find out what they're doing." chan said as he took out his phone and began typing out the messages.

felix picked up his coffee and pressed it to his lips as he took a small sip from it.

the taste brought back old memories of all the dates changbin took him on to that exact coffee shop.

felix got lost in thought, and began daydreaming about what used to be.

"french vanilla latte?" changbin asked.

"noooo, i switched to a macchiato now. there's less milk." i smiled at him.

"oh so someone actually likes coffee now?" changbin asked me teasingly.

"shut up." i responded with a pout as i clung onto his arm and walked over to the barista with him.

"go take a seat bokkie, i'll be with you in a minute." changbin said to me as he placed a quick kiss to my cheek.

i nodded in agreement and began making my way over to an empty table. i sat down and waited for him to come back with our drinks.

it didnt take long for the drinks to be made, and once he came back over, he stole a kiss from my lips.

"what was that for?" i asked with a shocked expression.

"for fun," he smiled at me, "you're finally my boyfriend now so i can do that whenever i want."

i felt my face heat up as he said this to me. i was finally his boyfriend. we had been dating for about a week at that point, and it was already the best week of my life.

to ignore what changbin said, i grabbed my coffee and took a long sip.

"slow down bokkie, your drink isn't going anywhere!" he laughed as he placed his hand on my arm for me to lower my drink.

"owwww." i hissed as i felt the burning sensation on my tongue.

"great now you burned your tongue." changbin rolled his eyes at me.

i just began to pout, wishing he gave me more sympathy, even though i knew he was joking around with me.

"want me to kiss it better?" he pouted back at me to tease further.

"kiss my tongue?" i questioned with a disgusted face.

"or i could just kiss you." he smirked as he cupped my face in his hands and began leaning across the table.

he planted his soft lips against mine, and i got a little taste of his carmel flavored coffee.

"hmmm yummy." i hummed as changbin pulled away.

"yummy?" changbin questioned as he stifled a laugh.

"i could taste your coffee." i smiled at him and he responded with a smile and a nod.

"i don't think i'll ever get used to kissing you." changbin said sweetly as i watched a slight blush rise to his cheeks.

"what do you mean?" i asked him.

"you know how sometimes people take things for granted after they get used to having them?" he asked me and i nodded my head, "well even if i kiss you every second of everyday, that still won't be enough. i will never take anything about you for granted. i know i'm lucky to have you."

"no, i think im the lucky one. i mean you did buy me coffee." i said as i held up my cup.

"felix, that's a materialistic thing though, not something meaningful." changbin scolded me.

"well you helping me with my anxiety means a lot to me, i know that's why you took me out today." i said to him as i fiddled with my thumbs nervously.

"sometimes you just need a break from everything. i hope i can take you away from all your problems even if it is only for a few hours." changbin said to me as he reached his hand across the table to grab onto mine.

"and you do exactly that," i smiled at him, "when im with you it feels like time stops. i don't think about anything else but us."

"i wish i could be with you all the time then." he sighed as i saw him notice the old scarring on my arm.

the sweatshirt i was wearing had started to ride up my arm and exposed my wrists. he slowly flipped my arm and reached over to lift up my sleeve even more.

"felix," he tone got a lot more serious, "when did you do this?"

"before we were together. i promise im better now." i assured him, it had been three months since i last self harmed.

"as long as your better now." he pulled back down my sleeve and rubbed his hand over it gently.

changbin was the boy of my dreams. the one person who always understood me, and even when i felt like i was all alone in the world, he was there to prove i wasn't.

"felix," chan waved his hand in front of felix's face, "felix, are you okay?"

"yeah sorry, just got lost in thought." felix smiled half heartedly at chan, wishing he could delve back into his daydream and pretend it was all real again.

a.n.

sometimes i can't decide if these moments are soft or cringey

i hate relationships lowkey but maybe that's just cause i haven't had good experiences with them

and this is why i always write sad stories goodBYE