the boys all sat down to eat after not so peacefully making their breakfast.

chans kitchen was a mess and all he was thankful for was that his parents were not home to witness it.

chan sat at the head of the table with seungmin and felix on each side of him. beside seungmin was jeongin and then jisung.

minho was at the other end of the table with changbin beside him and hyunjin between changbin and felix.

all the boys tried to ignore the tension between hyunjin, felix, and changbin as well as chan and changbin, and just carried on with their conversations.

felix was the only one who's wasn't really speaking up, which was something the boys were not used to.

typically, felix was the one to speak a lot. he wanted to joke around and engage in the conversations, he thrived off of his friends and having fun with them.

but felix wasn't the sunshine they once knew.

it was clear to everyone that felix had changed, but bringing it up would only do more harm than good.

they all knew it would somehow tie back to changbin and they also knew that was the last thing felix wanted to speak about.

felix sat there, completely zoning out and hardly touching his food.

"hey sunshine, aren't you going to eat the cinnamon buns we made?" chan asked, snapping felix out of his thoughts and back into reality.

"huh? what?" felix shook his head.

"i asked if you were going to eat." chan stated.

"oh— im actually not hungry. i just really wanted to make them." felix shrugged, putting on a convincing smile.

"lix, you should eat at least a little something." jisung said worriedly.

"guys, im just not hungry right now, i'll eat later." felix laughed it off like it was nothing, but changbin knew better than that.

"hey lix," changbin called out, earning weird stares from the rest of the boys, "you know you need to eat, just take one bite. just start out with one."

felix looked over at changbin in shock of what he was saying. it's what he always used to tell felix whenever he got bad...

"one bite?" felix mumbled to himself, "just one bite..."

the boys stared at felix and then at changbin and back to felix. they were all confused over the fact that changbins words actually worked.

felix grabbed a small piece of the cinnamon bun and placed it carefully into his mouth, allowing the icing to melt onto his tongue.

"is it good sunshine?" chan asked with a smile.

"mmmm our icing is so good!" felix cheered, allowing chan to grab onto his hand out of excitement.

changbin looked over at the boys and felt his chest tighten. this time he wasn't angry, he didn't know what he felt. he just knew it hurt.

~

the boys cleaned up the table and all began leaving chans house shortly after.

felix left with minho and jisung while seungmin, hyunjin, and jeongin all left together.

chan specifically asked changbin to stay back a moment so they could speak.

"is everything okay between us?" chan asked changbin.

"yeah.. yeah it is... i'm sorry, i don't know why i accused you of liking felix." changbin sighed, plopping himself down on chans couch.

"don't be sorry changbin," chan took a deep breath before speaking, "i do like him."

"y-you do?" changbins eyes widened out of shock.

"yeah... i'm not going to act on it of course, you're one of my closest friends and i know you still care about him whether you want to admit that to yourself or not. but i'm also not going to lie to you."

"you actually like him?" changbin was completely baffled by what chan was telling him.

"changbin, please forget about my feelings for a moment. i need to ask you something important about felix," chan stated and changbin listened intently, "how'd you know what to say to felix to get him to eat? has this happened before?"

"oh... well when felixs anxiety gets really bad he finds it hard to eat. i could tell he was getting anxious, he has these little signs that he thinks no one notices, but i do...

i wanted to speak up sooner, but it's not my place anymore. i try to just get him to take one bite at a time, if he eats too much he'll make himself throw up from his nerves." changbin explained, not even knowing the look he had while speaking of felix.

"what signs does he give when he's anxious?" chan questioned, wanting to know how deep changbins feelings still ran.

"well, he'll check his pulse for starters... that's his most obvious sign... he also zones out a lot, he'll get very silent and just stare off into space. usually he'll shake his legs or try to grab onto someone.

i know whenever he was with me and was having a panic attack or just felt particularly anxious, he'd mindlessly tap on my arm or would hold my hand and squeeze it using different patterns.

i found that if you do the pattern back to him when he squeezes your hand it makes him laugh and helps him forget about his anxiety a little." changbin had a small smile creep onto his face as he thought about the way felix used to hold his hand, chan noticed it immediately.

"ah.. i'll have to watch out for those from now on. thanks changbin." chan said with a half hearted smile.

"yeah, anytime." changbin stood up to leave, but chan stopped him.

"do you actually like hyunjin?" chan asked, once again, earning a shocked response from changbin, "come on changbin, it's obvious."

"i never meant to hurt felix." changbin shook his head as he let out a loud sigh.

"so you really broke up with felix for hyunjin? that's your only reason?" chan questioned, not believing that was the truth.

"i didn't love him the same way he loved me. i got distracted too easily, frustrated too quickly, he loved me way more than i loved him. it wasn't fair to felix, he deserves someone who will love him equally. someone like you."

"you saying that just makes me believe you're still in love with him." chan scoffed.

"i-im not... i just want what's best for him, okay?"

"yeah, okay bin." chan said, finally allowing changbin to leave his house. chan knew there had to be more to the story, but part of him really didn't want to find out...

part of him wanted changbin to be right, chan wanted to be what was best for felix.

a.n.

haha accidently posted this yesterday on accident when i posted chapter 8🤪✌️