it had been an awfully long summer. one with deafening silence and the intoxicating pain of heartbreak.

felix sat in his childhood home, letting the darkness consume him as he tried his best to numb his mind.

it had been three months since he and changbin ended things, but everything still felt like a fresh wound.

felix constantly had thoughts running through his mind of what he did wrong or what he could've done better.

felix can not help but replay their last conversation before they broke up, over and over again. it's stuck in his mind, haunting him worse than any ghost could.

"is something wrong?" i asked changbin as he stared silently at the ground.

"hm?" changbin picked his head up, but still seemed out of it. lately we have hardly hung out and when we do, we hardly speak.

"is there something wrong?" i asked him once more, but he only shook his head in response.

"are you sure?" i questioned, not believing that everything was fine.

"don't worry lix." changbin's soft voice soothed all my worries as he cupped my face gently, placing a kiss on the top of my nose.

i allowed myself to fall for it... i should have known.

now the summer was ending and felix had to come out of hiding. he knew he had to return to korea to finish out his highschool years, but he dreaded leaving his safe haven, australia.

"felix," his mother's voice sounded drained as she walked into his room, "are you ready to go?"

"do i have to leave mom?" felix voice sounded strained as if he had been crying.

"felix... you know i am not fit to take care of you. i sent you to korea for your own good. i promise i am working on getting better, but i can't have you here... i can't let you see me breakdown." his mother wrapped her arms around him.

felix knew things had been hard on his mother ever since his father had passed away, but it had been four years and she still couldn't allow felix to live at home out of fear of having a breakdown in front of him.

"okay mom..." felix sighed, "let's just go then."

~

for changbin, the summer consisted of hanging out with friends and trying to keep his mind from wandering off onto thoughts of a specific someone.

he didn't know why he felt the need to scroll through felix's social media accounts to see if he had posted anything, he didn't know why he had the urge to call the boy and say he was sorry for everything, and he certainly did not know why he snuck on to chan's phone to text felix and find out how he was doing.

changbin was the one who ended things, he is the one who lost feelings for felix. he was the one who developed an attraction towards someone else.

he had no one to blame but himself for felix going to australia all summer. he could only blame himself for no longer being with felix... he was the only one to blame for all of it.

as much as he tried to convince himself he did the right thing, changbin constantly worried he didn't.

but every time he walks in the room, changbin is reminded of why he ended things in the first place.

"bin!" hyunjin smiled as he walked into the small café on the corner of a road in their quaint little town.

"hey hyunjin." changbin said softly trying to keep his cool. immediately all his thoughts were wiped of felix and his only focus was on hyunjin.

"did you hear felix is coming back?" hyunjin questioned, changbin immediately filling with dread upon hearing the name.

"can you not speak of him?" changbin asked as he buried his head in his hands.

"changbin, did you not hear what i said?" hyunjin asked, "felix is coming back!"

"back? i thought he went to australia... h-he's back?" changbin felt a lump form in his throat as his cheeks went hot.

"yeah, chan is picking him up from the airport today. i guess australia was just for the summer." hyunjin shrugged.

"well you must be happy, you two were very close." changbin gulped, hating the idea of hyunjin and felix being friends.

"eh... ever since you and i got closer, felix distanced himself from me." hyunjin sighed, a frown forming on his face.

"maybe you can get close again now that he is back." changbin said with a monotone voice.

"i'm guessing him returning upsets you..." hyunjin said in almost a questioning type of way.

"i... i won't lie and say i wasn't happy when i heard he was going back to australia..." changbin admitted, the guilt starting to consume him from the inside out.

"that's normal, he is both your ex-boyfriend and ex-bestfriend. don't you miss it?" hyunjin asked.

yes, but no one can know how badly i truly do... "no, i have my eyes on someone else now." changbin looked hyunjin up and down with a slight smirk on his face, not knowing the damage he was doing.