minho sat in the dance practice room unable to think about anything aside from jisung. he remembered the time they sat right in that same room eating, and the time he tried to teach jisung how to dance.

minho could feel jisung pulling away. it had been days since they last spoke, yet again.

minho continued to send daily messages, but two days ago, jisung stopped reading them.

minho asked the others if they heard from jisung, the only person to say yes was chan.

minho felt the jealousy rise within him, burning his face into a red hot fire that scorched from the inside-out.

he tried to clear his mind from that though. there was no sense in getting angry when he knew jisung was just trying to cope.

"FUCKKK," minho shouted out into the practice room, not caring who heard him as he let out his frustrations.

he didn't want to be left alone again. it was hard for minho to finally come to terms with loving jisung, the last thing he wanted was to lose him.

minho was used to his love life coming crashing down. it happened before, and it almost happened again with jisung.

just when minho thought he was past all of the hardships, this was another slap to the face to test him it seemed.

minho couldnt win. he couldn't be happy.

part of him started to believe his father and all the times he told minho that he would never be happy if he loved a boy.

that awful stigma around being gay, and all those conservatives preaching it's a sin, how could one be happy in a world like that?

but minho was passed the stigmas. he was over what everyone else thought and was only focussed on being happy.

so why was it so hard?

why was it so hard for minho and jisung to be happy?

why was it so hard for minho to love another person?

it was as if the universe could hear his thoughts because just beyond the practice room doors, he saw a ghost of his past.

minho felt his heart skip a beat and his stomach began to twist into knots. he felt his vision begin to blur and the room started to spin.

minho stumbled to his feet, and felt the blood rush throughout his body.

he needed to see him.

the last thing minho needed was something to confuse his mind, but he couldn't help it.

minho ran out the doors to chase after the one thing he thought was gone forever, but by the time he made it outside the room, he was too late.

he was gone, and minho could not find him, no matter how badly he wanted to.

minho ran around the halls searching for a sign that his past had not slipped through his fingertips once again, but this only ended in disappointment.

minho let out a heavy sigh upon finding no information to help him. he began to think he hallucinated the entire thing.

he blamed it on missing jisung, but if he was missing jisung... then he should have been the hallucination.

minho knew this.

minho felt his heart tear as the guilt washed over him. he felt as though he had cheated on jisung for simply wanting to see someone from his past.

of course it wasn't cheating, but that excitement and blood rush felt all too consuming. it had to be against the unwritten rules of a relationship.

minho took one last look around the surrounding hallways, but still no luck of finding anything.

"hey min, we're you looking for something?" felix asked as he walked up behind the boy, slightly startling him.

"no, no i wasn't." his voice was riddled with disappointment.

"are you sure? i can help you find it if you want." felix offered kindly.

"how can you help me find someone who was probably never even here?" minho looked down at his feet, sulking as he shuffled back into the dance practice room.

he waited there for his students to come in, but he didn't realize felix had followed in behind him.

"who wasn't here minho? are you talking about jisung?" felix questioned.

"ji..." was all minho said, as if he was just thinking out loud. he looked completely out of it and felix could not figure out why.

there was obviously something going on with the latter that he was not telling felix.

"ji... ji who? ji-sung?" felix asked.

"no," minho shook his head, "ji changmin."

a.n.

another short chapter

oops

is changmin a hallucination or real???

the world may never know