as the kiss persisted, minho tried to drown out his loaded thoughts. the thoughts that were consumed by hatred that he never wanted jisung to experience.

he knew it wasn't fair, but with a few drinks in his system, his decisions making was heavily impaired.

it felt like the kiss was lasting a life time, but in reality, it was only a few minutes before minho pulled away.

"what the hell are you doing?" minho asked, sounding a bit startled as his fingertips touched his lips in shock.

"i—i..." jisung stuttered nervously as the tears threatened to pour from his eyes.

don't cry, please don't cry, im sorry... was what minho wanted to say, but instead he just stormed out of the room without another word as his internal fears ate him alive.

jisung sat there, tears pouring down his face like waterfalls. he drew his knees in tight to his chest as he lightly shook from his bubbling anxiety.

jisung knew he had messed up, minho has told him countless times that he is straight... yet jisung still went and kissed him.

jisung let jeongin's talk of nonsense cloud his judgement and even slightly got his hopes up. now everything has come crashing down and jisung can't help but wonder if he's ruined everything.

outside jisungs room, the party persisted, none of his friends knowing what had just occurred.

felix was the first one to notice something was up. he was finally starting to become slightly sober and he wondered if jisung was in the same state as him.

"has anyone seen jisung?" felix asked chan, changbin, and seungmin when he realized he didn't see the boy.

"i haven't seen him in awhile." seungmin stated simply.

"me neither..." chan trailed off with a hint of worry in his tone.

"come on sunshine, i can tell you're worrying, let's go find your sungie." changbin said as he put out a hand for felix to latch on to.

the tipsy boy happily obliged and skipped along as they searched around the door.

"he must be in our room..." felix said after they scanned the common area.

"why would he be in there?" changbin asked.

"we both know he's not much of a party person." felix said as he raised up his hand to knock on the door. when he got nothing in response, he slowly crept his way in and saw a horrid sight.

jisung was now drowning in his own tears, his face blotchy and swollen as he tried not to make too much noise whilst sobbing in to his hands.

"sungie?" felix asked softly as he let go of changbin's hand and approached the boy slowly.

changbin followed closely behind after shutting the door quietly trying not to draw attention to themselves.

"sungie, what happened?" felix asked as he place a comforting hand on the boys back.

jisung slowly raised his head as he then collapsed into felixs arms.

he didn't want to tell felix what he had done. in jisungs mind, it was embarrassing and shameful.

he fell for a straight boy and even made a move on him. jisung felt he had ruined his friendship with minho and that's what he was the most uspet about.

jisung couldnt lose another person... not now of all times.

felix once again tried to get the boy to speak, but jisung just continued on sobbing softly into felixs lap.

changbin walked over sitting down beside the boy, giving felix a knowing look.

jisung doesn't speak of his emotions. they don't ever come out, he chooses to bottle them all up and keep to himself... in his mind, it's safer that way.

after felix processed the look changbin gave him, he carefully adjusted himself and jisung so they were laying down on the bed. jisungs head was buried in felixs chest and his arms were wrapped around the boys waist.

changbin then came around the other side to hold jisung in his arms. he and felix had smothered the boy in a cuddle sandwich, something that had learned was the only way they could comfort the boy.

if he wasn't going to speak about his problems, they at least needed to show him that he was loved.

they didn't need jisungs words, they needed actions. they needed the tears to stop and smiles to form.

felix was sunshine and changbin was comfort.

changbin was warm and loving, someone jisung could always have there for when he needed a shoulder to cry on.

felix was bright and uplifting, he was the sunshine on rainy days for jisung. he made everything just a bit better with a hug and a smile.

felix and changbin meant everything to jisung... he knew he'd never be able to repay them for their kindness, for their love.

the only other person jisung truly had besides those two was chan.

chan was his protector, constantly looking out for him and always had his best interest at heart.

at the core of it, changbin, chan, and felix were jisungs family.

the only family he was going to have left.

as long as he had them, maybe he could handle a loss...

maybe he could get through it.

but without opening up, it will start to eat away at him and one day... he will crumble underneath the burdens of his own pain.

a.n.

i promise im going to get better at writing one day ugh:((

i might switch from writing so many text stories to more "actual" stories.

text based are fun, but they're not as fulfilling, i feel like im not writing an actual story sometimes idkkk

i'm crazy ok? ok.