hello, you gorgey huns. You know I adore all of you and enjoy reading your comments. Seeing people's reactions to the chapters is one of my favorite parts of writing this story. But, tbh, some comments have been making me feel a bit uncomfortable recently. Think twice before you hit send. If you were expecting a book full of nothing but fluff, then this isn't the story for you.

I suggest we all chill out. I know people get attached to stories they like, including me with some other stories on this app, and it's easy to get carried away. But please, you are choosing to read this story. If you don't like it, don't read it. As simple as that. Like I said, I love your comments. They're literally what motivates me to write. Feel welcome to spam the shit out of this fanfic. But just don't be mean (@LMandDemiTrash has promised to personally take care of you if you will. I'd be scared if I were you). Thank you♡

Perrie was never this nervous about talking to her mother before. She is sitting on the couch in Debbie's living room, and next to her feet are a few boxes she forgot to bring to her house when she moved a month ago. Perrie bought her mother an early Christmas present, a hoverboard, because she will be spending the holiday with her father. She is planning to give it to Debbie when her cousin Ellie comes, which is not supposed to be long now, so Ellie can enjoy it as well.

Debbie enters the living room from the kitchen with two cups of tea in her hands. She hands one to Perrie, then sits next to her daughter on the couch.

"How are you doing, pet?" Debbie asks in warm tone. They have always been close, but Perrie has been avoiding her since telling her about Jade.

"I'm okay," Perrie replies. She does not have a lot of time alone with her mother before Ellie comes, so she would rather not waste it on talking about anything other than what she needs to talk about - her relationship with Jade. "I'm sorry about that day, mum, when I got out of the car before you had the chance to say anything. I was just panicking, because this is very personal, and I wasn't really planning on telling you that day, but it just happened... And yeah, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have ran away like that. If you want to talk about it now, that's okay. I want to know how you feel about this."

Both women knew this conversation was coming, but they still struggle to find the right words to say. Debbie has spent the last month wondering when did her relationship with her daughter turn so distant that Perrie did not feel like she could tell her about something so big.

"Honey, I understand that it was something that was hard for you to deal with. I don't blame you for leaving the car like that, but... it's been a whole month since then, and you haven't shared anything with me yet," Debbie says after a long pause. Perrie takes a sip from her drink in order to earn some time before answering.

"What do you want to know?" She asks. Every word is choking her, and she hopes that she does not appear as stressed as she feels. She is embarrassed, even though she knows she has no reason to be. Perrie used to share with her mother a lot about her past relationships, and would consult with her, but this feels different. What she has with Jade is so fragile, she is afraid that saying too much about it will break it.

"Well, I..." Debbie begins with a quiet voice. She decides to start with a neutral question, one that involves facts and not feelings, so that Perrie will be able to answer it easily. "When did it start?" Perrie's cheeks are painted a faint shade of pink, and she takes a deep breath and holds it in before she speaks.

"Almost three months ago," she simply replies. She does not want to share any more than that, especially not about how Jade and her were all over each other only a few days after Perrie's break up with Zayn. This is the kind of information she would discuss with her friends, but not with her mother. Debbie would be shocked to hear that Perrie moved on so fast.

Debbie asks more questions Perrie is not too excited to answer but does so anyway. It is not as bad as Perrie initially thought it would be, but it is definitely not a pleasant conversation. More than everything, Debbie seems hurt about the fact that Perrie did not share everything with her up until now.

"You worried me that day when you told me, because of how nervous you were, and the way you acted," Debbie says when she feels like enough of her questions were answered for now. "So I hope you don't mind, but I called Norma to ask her what she knows about this, and-"

"You called Jade's mum?" Perrie asks in disbelief. She corrects herself now; this conversation is worse than she thought it would be. She knows that if Jade and Norma would have talked about Perrie, Jade would have told Perrie that. So that means Jade does not know that her mother is aware of her and Perrie's relationship. "Do you understand how bad that is? Jade should have told her mum herself! You don't have the right to do that for her!" Perrie is trying very hard to remain calm, but it is impossible because of how afraid she is that Jade is going to lose it when she finds out.

"I'm sorry, petal. I didn't know it was a secret, I-" Debbie tries explaining, but Perrie cuts her off again.

"Well, it is! You can't just tell people about this!" Perrie exclaims, though she feels bad for her tone once she sees the apologizing look in her mother's eyes. "It's different than it was with Zayn, or with Adam, or with anyone else, mum. Jade and I can't have people knowing about this. Who we choose to tell - that's supposed to be our choice. Jade would have told her mum eventually, but she should have been the one to do it. And I'm only this angry because I'm scared that Jade's going to freak out. So I'm going to call her now, and I'm going to break the news to her. I hope she doesn't get too upset about this."

"Tell her that I'm sorry," Debbie says as Perrie stands up with her phone in her hand. "I used to do this with Jonnie and you all the time in the past. You wouldn't always tell me what's going on with you, or where you were going, so I'd speak to your friends' parents, and most of the time, they were just as worried as I was."

"I'm an adult now, mum. I don't need you to worry about me this much anymore," Perrie says, although she feels bad. Her mother had only good intentions, yet she managed to screw things up. "But thank you for trying to help, I guess. I'll tell her that you didn't mean to do anything to hurt her, but she probably already knows that." Perrie sends her mother a small smile before she goes up the stairs to her old bedroom. She sits on the bed and calls Jade.

"Hi," Perrie says after Jade picks up.

"Hi," Jade replies. Perrie can tell that she is happy just by the way she said this one word. It makes a smile appear on her face.

"How's your day?" Perrie softly asks. Every bit of anger has disappeared from her body. When she is talking to Jade, all she can think of is Jade and how much she adores her.

"It's good. I'm just home with Danielle. she's got a day off and we're catching up," Jade replies. "How about you?"

"I'm in South Shields, at my mum's. We finally talked about everything, and... yeah. It was okay, until she told me that she, um... She talked to your mum and told her about us." There is a long silence on the other end of the phone, and Perrie gets more worried with every second that passes.

"Then I guess I should call my mum now," Jade finally says. She definitely sounds upset, but not as sad as Perrie imagined she would be. Jade does not break down in tears, nor does she ask for an explanation. All she knows is that what happened is already done, and there is nothing she can do right now except for trying to fix the situation as much as she can.

"My mum says she's sorry," Perrie tells Jade, since she does not know what else to say.

"Tell her it's okay," Jade quickly answers. "I have to call my mum now. But I'll let you know how it went," Jade continues.

"Okay. I'll talk to you later," Perrie says with a sad smile.

"Bye," Jade says and hangs up the phone. Perrie drops her back on the bed and lets her thoughts wander. She falls asleep without knowing it, and wakes up when her phone vibrates with an incoming text message. She sees that it is from Jade and immediately opens it.

Talked to me mam. Everything's alright. You're invited to dinner next week (me dad invited you too btw). Miss you. Xxx

×××

"I actually think I'm in love with this house," Perrie says as she walks into the second bedroom. She did not expect to be moving again so soon, but a potential buyer for her house came along and this is already the third property she is viewing this week. Perrie spent last night with her cousin Ellie, and Ellie came along with her to look at this house in Surrey. It is located in a quiet area, quite far from London, and is exactly what Perrie is looking for. Sometimes the city is suffocating and this location allows her to be far enough in order to avoid it.

What caught Perrie’s eye is the bathtub inside the bedroom, next to the bed. She has never seen a house that has this, and wonders what nights with Jade in here would look like.

"Pez, you got to see the bathroom. It's so cool," Ellie calls from another room. Perrie glances at the bathtub one more time before she goes to search for Ellie. Perrie is unfamiliar with the house, but finds Ellie quickly. This house is much smaller than the one she currently lives in, and she sees this as an advantage. She does not need as much space to herself as she has now, and it can get lonely when she is on her own. Perrie walks into the bathroom, and her eyes lay on Ellie, then on the toilet. It is silver and has glitter on it, and Perrie has never seen anything like it.

"This place is literally perfect. Have you seen the back yard? It's huge! And the sunroom too. Plus, the chairs in the cinema room are really comfortable," Perrie enthusiastically says. "I can actually see myself living here. I'm going to text the house agent now and tell him we should put in an offer on this house." Perrie takes out her phone and quickly types a short text message. When she is done, she finds Ellie looking at her with a slightly disappointed expression. Perrie sends her a questioning look, and Ellie explains.

"So you're going home now, right? We had so much fun together. We never get to do this stuff. Could you maybe stay another night?" Ellie pleads. A candid smile spreads on Perrie's face and she pulls her cousin in for a hug. She enjoyed last night a lot too, but unfortunately, is busy tonight.

"I'd love to, but I can't stay," Perrie replies as they let go. "I have plans for tonight, and it's too late to change them now."

"What plans?" Ellie asks. She is still hoping she could somehow manage to convince Perrie to cancel whatever she is doing tonight.

"I have a date," Perrie quietly replies. She avoids Ellie's gaze, which could be taken as a sign of shyness but is actually due to the fact that Perrie does not really want to go on this date. She had tried to convince Jade multiple times that this is not a good idea, but Jade keeps insisting that Perrie has to go out with Leon at least once, and only then she could choose between him and Jade.

"Oh my gosh," Ellie excitedly says, her voice now high and her mouth open. "Who is it with? You got to tell me everything." Perrie is not too sure she wants to answer, but knows she has to if she wants Ellie to stop talking about it.

"His name is Leon, and we met at the Tape in London a few nights ago. He gave me his number and we've been texting and he seems really nice. He said he'll pick me up, and that we're going somewhere in London," Perrie explains. She makes sure to include as many details as she can remember, because that is the safest way to make sure Ellie will not ask any more questions about the subject. She succeeds, and Ellie has nothing to say back but to wish her good luck. Perrie nods with a small smile as a way of thanking her, and then suggests they would take another look at the house before they leave.

Ellie and Perrie walk around, and somehow grow to like the house even more this time. They point out the things they love the most about each room, and when they get to the bathroom again, Ellie begins laughing. Perrie cannot help but join in, and wishes that she could spend more time with Ellie today. Growing up, the two were very close, and she would have liked to have that again.

"I have an idea," Perrie suddenly says and turns to look in Ellie's eyes. "We can live here together, as roommates! You like this house as much as I do, and if we move in together, we'll always be able to see each other and we're going to have lots of time for more sleepovers." There is a short moment of silence as Ellie lets the offer sink in.

"I'll think about it," Ellie finally replies with a shy smile. The two women head out of the house, and two cabs they have called earlier are waiting for them. They say goodbye with a warm hug and a promise to try and see each other more often, then part ways. Perrie enters the backseat of the first car, and after telling the driver her address, she takes out her phone and calls Sam.

"Hi," Perrie says into the phone when Sam picks up. She turns nervous and her heartbeat increases. Sam had tried her best to figure out how to handle Jade and Perrie's relationship ever since they told her about it, and did not come up with a clear strategy yet. All she told Jade and Perrie meanwhile was to keep a low profile and stop making this a joke to their fans, and so they did. Whenever they knew they were being filmed, they did not interact with each other. That made the BBC Music Awards much less enjoyable and so did performing at the X Factor Finale, but it is what they had to do.

"Hey," Sam replies. "You're calling for an update, right? I'm sorry, but I don't have anything yet. You're going to have to give me some time to figure this out. But you're doing a great job so far keeping things down. I really appreciate it."

"I understand," Perrie simply answers. She definitely does not think it is fair, but so far, things are going okay, and that is all she can hope for at this point. "Sam, I think there's something that might, um, help you and everyone else, I guess. With building a PR strategy and all."

"What is it?" Sam asks, clearly interested.

"I'll tell you only if you promise to not ask any questions," Perrie replies. She hopes that her idea will lead to Jade and her being able to interact more freely with each other in the public eye, like they used to.

"Okay," Sam agrees. Perrie sighs before she lets the words leave her mouth.

"Nothing has changed from what Jade and I told you, but I'm kind of going on a date tonight. With a guy," Perrie shares. She is indirectly asking Sam to call the paparazzi agency and let them know that Perrie will be in London tonight. Calling the paparazzi is not something Perrie likes to do, but sometimes it just needs to be done. Usually under very different circumstances, like a single that needs to be promoted, but this will work. Photos of Perrie on a date with man are supposed to remind the public that she likes men, which will eventually lead to less rumors about Jade and her.

"No questions asked," Sam repeats. "But I definitely like your thinking. So, when exactly is it? And where?"

"We'll get there around nine PM, I think. It's somewhere in London but I'm not sure where. It's supposed to be a surprise, I guess," Perrie says.

"So, text me when you get there?" Sam asks.

"I will," Perrie replies. They exchange goodbyes before ending the call. Perrie places her phone back inside her purse, then looks out of the car window. Only the thought of going on that date makes her feel slightly uncomfortable, but she finds comfort in the fact that this is just a few hours, nothing more.

Delicate raindrops land on the glass of the window, and Perrie cannot help but crack a smile. She thinks about Jade all the time now, and her mind currently wanders to her marvelous brown eyes. Perrie was disappointed in the past over how she was not completely invested in Jade, and did not think about her whenever she felt lonely like she does right now. So much can change in so little time.

×××

"Did you like the house you were viewing today?" Jade asks Perrie. They are sitting in Perrie's porch on the second floor, and the rain drips onto the roof above them in a quiet sound. They have moved their chairs as close to each other as possible, and Jade's head rests on Perrie's shoulder as they both share a blanket. Empty mugs of cocoa lie at their feet, and their bodies warm one another beneath the fabric.

"I did. A lot, actually," Perrie replies with a small smile. She would much rather talk about this morning than what she has planned for tonight. "It has a glittery toilet seat and a bathtub inside one of the bedrooms. What more can you ask you for?" Jade lightly laughs in reply, and a wide smile spreads on her face. She cannot think about anything else but how greatful she is to have Perrie and how she wishes things are not going to change anytime soon; that Perrie is going to choose her over Leon, and that Sam will figure out a way for them to keep hiding but remin this close.

"It's cold in here, and it's getting pretty late. I think we should go in," Jade suggests. Perrie agrees and takes the blanket inside, back to her bedroom, while Jade carries the mugs. "Are you nervous for tonight?" She asks as she lays the mugs on the nightstand.

"Nope," Perrie quickly answers without any hesitation. Jade sits on the edge of the bed, and Perrie walks over to the door of her closet. It truly is getting late, and she needs to get ready for her date, but does not want to do so until she proves to Jade that tonight means nothing to her.

"Can you at least pretend to be?" Jade asks with a smile as she rolls her eyes. Perrie shakes her head with a matching grin. "Just a little?" Perrie enters her closet and picks out the first two tops she sees.