A/n: you guys probably know this by now, but in case you've missed it - all of the social media posts in this story are real and true to date (most of them are just screenshots I took from the girls' accounts). Starting this point of the story, there will be comments/posts/likes that I will write and not add as a photo, because they have been deleted since then. They are real, though.

There will also be old screenshots fans took back then and posted, you can recognize these by the layout of the apps. I've only found these, and some information, after lots of research, so I'm assuming you will not be familiar with some stuff too. You can look everything up online to see for yourselves if you want to look further into things, once you know what to search for it is much easier to find so there won't be a problem with that.

So I just wanted to let you know that every social media interaction here happened in real life, even though there aren't screenshots of everything.

Enjoy!

One thing Perrie knows about herself is that she is a good partner in relationships. The past taught her that her dazzling personality, mixed with a few good clichés, can make every boyfriend or girlfriend feel loved and cared for. She knows that good morning texts can go a long way, and can tell exactly to when to call so it is not too needy yet still caring. She knows Jade well, and by watching her behavior for the past few days ever since they have officially started dating, Perrie can tell Jade is happy. Knowing that makes Perrie nervous; she would have liked to feel the same - happy with Jade - but it is so much more complicated than that.

Perrie is happy to be such close friends with Jade. She is happy to touch her and kiss her and get to know new sides of her. One thing she is not sure how she feels about, though, is calling Jade her girlfriend. Perrie got into this relationship hoping she would develop feelings for her bandmate, but so far this is not working out. It has only been a few days, but Perrie is already a bit scared that it is never going to happen. If that would be the case, she must end things with Jade as soon as possible. Even though it is going to hurt her bandmate, Perrie has promised not to mess with Jade's feelings.

Perrie looks out of the window of the cab she is currently in. Her hands are nervously fidgeting with an empty bag which held some snacks she had eaten during the ride. She watches the road, thinking about how, in the past, she would miss Zayn the most in times like this. She always felt lonely when traveling, and London roads make her miss everything that feels like home - her family and partner. She feels guilty for not needing Jade right now. She does miss her, but it is not the same, it is in a more friendly, less needy way. It is not how it is supposed to be.

Keeping this relationship a secret is quite hard and tiring, and Perrie's eyes sadden as she asks herself if it is worth it. If she does not like Jade that way, then what is the point of it all? Everything was much simpler before. Maybe they are better off as close friends.

Wanting a distraction, Perrie checks her phone. By looking at the time, she realizes that she is probably going to arrive on time, perhaps a few minutes late. She taps the Instagram icon, and flips through her many notifications. Beyond the ususal, there are lots of comments on the latest post on Little Mix's account. They are from fans, saying that Nick Jonas liked another photo of Jade's last night.

This is something that has been going on for a few months now; Nick just randomly likes Jade's posts, and the fans freak out every time. One quick look at Nick's Instagram account is enough for Perrie to admit that Jade and him could be a good match. He is Jade's type, as much as Perrie can tell, and it would be so much simpler than dating within the group.

Perrie then receives three new notifications about likes on her own account. These likes are from an account she has been following for a while now, @jackgreystone. It all started one night in August when she was lonely and could not sleep, probably due to jet lag, and randomly followed some people. It was nothing too interesting, but someone did catch her eye. It is a guy named Jack, and by his professionally taken photos, Perrie can tell he is probably a model. There is something about his long hair and dark eyes that makes her curious. That night, he followed her back right away, and it sure did make her smile. Once she receives two more notifications of him liking her recent posts in less than a minute, Perrie decides to comment on his latest post.

Perrieeewards @jackgreystone stalker! 😂

The vehicle comes to a stop, and Perrie sighs as she hears the paparazzi talking and sees the cameras in their hands. She pays the driver and puts her phone in her handbag before stepping out of the car and into the Kiss FM studios. Walking inside, she is a bit relieved to not find Jade. She is afraid that it might be hard to look into Jade's eyes without feeling like a complete liar.

In the lobby, Perrie is welcomed by Jesy's bright smile. They wrap their arms around each other in a tight hug, but Perrie does not return a smile. She is too worried about everything that is going on right now.

"Are you alright, Pez?" Jesy asks as they let go, concern in her eyes.

"I'm so stressed out," Perrie replies almost as a whisper.

"Babe, what happened?" Jesy says and takes her bandmate's hand in hers.

"I think that... Maybe this whole relationship could be a mistake," Perrie answers as quietly as possible, not wanting to expose any sensitive information. "I don't feel anything. Not the way I should."

"When did you two get together? On the twenty-first?" Jesy asks, matching Perrie’s whispers. Perrie nods once. "So," Jesy continues and quickly checks her phone. "Today is the twenty-fourth, which means that you've only been together for three days. So take it easy and calm down. Feelings take time. You got to give it some time."

"Okay," Perrie replies, taking in air and breathing out slowly. "I really hope you're right."

"I'm always right," Jesy replies. Perrie’s muscles relax and she feels much more relieved now. Three days really is not long enough to decide anything, this relationship did not get a real chance yet. Everything is okay. Just when Perrie is about to become completely relaxed, the double doors open and Jade enters the lobby. Everything about her stuns Perrie. The grace in her steps, the way her eyes shine when she smiles, her kindness smiling to the paparazzi. Perrie almost forgets to exhale the air she has been holding in as Jade walks over to Jesy and her.

After hugging Jesy, Jade turns to Perrie and pulls her into a loving embrace. She lays her head on Perrie’s shoulder and takes in the smell of her skin and laundry. A few of Perrie’s blonde hairs touch Jade's cheek and lightly tickle her, making her smile.

"You look like a princess," Perrie whispers in her girlfriend's ear, making Jade's smile grow. "My princess," Perrie continues. Jade tightens her grip around her, and Perrie immediately regrets adding these two words. They were the right thing to say, they made Jade feel special and loved, and that is exactly the problem. Perrie always knows the right thing to say, but she does not always mean it. Not with her whole heart, not with everything in her soul. Not the way it should be.

The two women realize that their hug has lasted for too long when Jesy clears her throat. Even though she does not want to, Jade lets go of Perrie. Leigh-Anne is quick to arrive afterwards, and they get their final touches of hair and makeup done when the interview is about to begin.

"We should stay away from each other when there are camers on," Jade says when both Perrie and her are ready for the interview to start.

"Yeah," Perrie replies and sends Jade a small smile. She looks away and laughs along with Adam about a comment he just made. Jade's heart is like stabbed by a tiny needle at this sight. Having to hide what she has with Perrie is one of the hardest things she has ever done. It feels so unfair. She just wants everyone to know that she is happy and she has got a gorgeous girlfriend she adores, is that too much to ask? Perrie, on the other hand, does not seem to be bothered. She does not look like she cares about having to stay away from her girlfriend, and that hurts Jade.

During the interview, Jade and Perrie make sure to not interact with each other. They let Jesy and Leigh-Anne take the lead. It is the first interview Little Mix is doing since Jade and Perrie became official, and the two youngest members of the band are careful not to take any risks. The last thing they need right now is giving the fans any proof that the speculations about them are true.

As soon as the interview is over, the four girls go to their dressing room. Selena Gomez is hosting a party in London tonight, and even though the girls have never met her, they have been invited through mutual friends in the industry. They need to get their hair and makeup redone, as well as change into outfits that fit the occasion more. Jesy is already quite tired and has not seen Jake for a few days, so she decides to go home instead.

It takes about two hours for Jade, Perrie and Leigh-Anne to get ready, and by then it is already dark outside. Jade was sitting next to Perrie the whole time they were getting their hair styled, and while they shared shy smiles and giggles, the emotional distance between them could not be denied by either of them. Jade is happy with Perrie, but she can definitely sense Perrie might not be feeling the same way. The three women enter the cab and arrive at the party shortly after. Due to the amount of celebrities who are attending this event, there are plenty of photographers waiting by the entrance.

Last Tuesday, when they went to Wonderland Magazine's party, the photos of Jade and Perrie holding hands on the way out caught way too much attention than they would have liked. So right now, Perrie takes Leigh-Anne's hand, and Leigh-Anne takes Jade's. That way, Jade and Perrie are as far from each other as possible. Jade believes that it is small things like this that will make the speculations die down.

The night is fun and easy. Jade, Leigh-Anne and Perrie stick with each other while also meeting new people and hoping to make some connections in the industry. They are talking with a few American producers as Jade gushes about the new album and how it is already finished ahead of the release in November. She is talking slowly, but it is clear that none of the Americans understand a word. Instead of trying to explain, she simply gives up and lets Leigh-Anne speak instead. Jade is absentmindedly mixing the drink in her hand using the short straw, an unsatisfied expression on her face. Perrie watches her, moves her gaze all the way up from Jade's legs to her hair, spending extra time on the areas she adores the most. There is something about Jade's cold expression that makes Perrie crave her touch more than ever.

"I need to go to the toilet, I'll be back in a minute," Jade says and turns to walk away. She lays her drink on a nearby table and leaves the conversation.

"Me too," Perrie blurts out. She avoids Leigh-Anne's suspecting gaze and follows Jade. When she gets to the bathroom, Jade is about to enter one of the stalls. She does not notice Perrie until Perrie pulls them both into the stall and locks them inside.

"What a-" Jade begins, surprised as Perrie’s arms are gently wrapped around her. Before she has the chance to speak, she is cut off by Perrie’s lips pressing onto hers. Jade responds to the kiss, tasting Perrie’s lipstick and feeling her tongue, but no longer than a few moments pass before she realizes what she is doing. She disconnects their lips, lays a hand on Perrie’s chest and lightly pushes her a few centimeters back. "This too risky," she says. These words only make Perrie need Jade more. She gently moves Jade's hand from holding her back and presses their bodies together.

"It's okay, there's no one in here," Perrie replies and brings her mouth to Jade's neck. She leaves soft kisses down her girlfriend's neck, making sure they are as light as possible so they will not any marks. When she is about to reach Jade's collarbone, Jade backs away. She does not want to do so, but knows that she must.

"Why are you like this right now?" She asks as she looks into Perrie’s blue eyes, finding sincerity in them.

"You look so fucking good, Jade," Perrie explains. "I miss you," she says and the atmosphere immediately changes for worse.

"How come you miss me? I'm right here," Jade innocently asks.

"I miss having fun with you," Perrie replies, knowing it is the true answer but the wrong one. Jade's expression is a mix of shock and sadness, as she understands that what Perrie feels towards her is rather lust. Perrie misses her body, nothing beyond. Jade finds it so heartbreaking that how she feels about Perrie is so much deeper than desire, but is not returned the same feelings by the blonde.

Jade unlocks the stall, and she is already half way out when Perrie takes her hand. Jade turns her head and looks at her girlfriend, her brown eyes wet of tears.

"Jade, wait," Perrie tries making her stay. She wants to say I can explain, but there is nothing more to be explained. Jade figured the truth out, that Perrie and her are not exactly on the same page yet. Unconvinced, Jade disconnects her hand from Perrie's and fully exits the stall.

"I'm going home," she quietly says, using some paper to quickly wipe her eyes. One short glance at the mirror is enough to confirm that she does not seem as though she has been crying. Jade leaves the bathroom, grabs her bag, says goodbye to Leigh-Anne and puts a smile on as she is filmed walking to the car with the help of a security guard.

Jade gets home, eats, showers, and dresses in her pajamas slowly. She does not have the energy to do anything right now, she is just tired. A small part of her expects her phone to ring with Perrie's name on the screen, but this remains a fantasy.

She lays on her bed, missing Perrie's body on the left side. Instead of sleeping, she stares at the ceiling in the dark and gets lost in her thoughts. Perrie really did hurt her tonight. Jade feels like she is being used in a shallow way. How is she going to get through tomorrow? They have got a scheduled meeting with people from the label and radio station owners regarding a possible radio tour. That means seeing Perrie all the time, and probably sitting next to her, and talking to her so no one will notice anything is wrong. It is going to be a long day.

A light interrupts the darkness of Jade's bedroom as her phone screen turns on and the sound of her ringtone fills the room. Finally, Jade thinks as she grabs her phone from the nightstand. Just to make sure, she checks the caller's name before answering, and finds herself disappointed again. It is not Perrie who is calling her, but Jed.

They have been texting for a while now, and have a date scheduled in January, but this is the first time Jed has ever called her. This is when she remembers that she never texted him back about his idea of going to Paris on their next date. Jade sighs in desperation, then silences her phone since she is definitely not in the mood to talk right now. She lays her phone back on the nightstand and keeps staring at the darkness until she fades into sleep.