Perrie and Jade walk together to Perrie’s hotel room, each dragging a heavy suitcase behind her. They have slept during most of the flight here, and jet lag is yet to kick it. Little Mix is set to perform on America's Got Talent tomorrow, which means that today they have a day off here. Perrie opens her room using the card she had received earlier, and Jade and her enter it. They put their luggage near the door, and while Jade goes to look at the view through the window, Perrie searches for something in her suitcase.

"Babe, I got you some chocolate on the flight while you were sleeping," Perrie says and walks over to the small kitchen in the room, holding a box in her hand. She takes out a knife from one of the drawers and uses it to open the packaging, whilst Jade joins her at the kitchen. Jade lifts herself so she sits on the counter, and Perrie is done with the knife and places it back in the drawer it was taken from. She picks out one chocolate, the one she feels like Jade would like the best. Both of them smile playfully as Perrie brings the chocolate to Jade's mouth, the brunette taking a small bite of it. Perrie eats the rest herself, smiling at her bandmate. She feels like this morning could not get be any better.

Perrie moves a few centimeters to her right, so she is facing Jade, and slowly kisses her. Perrie gently lies her arms on Jade's shoulders, and Jade wraps hers around Perrie’s waist. They pull each other close, enjoying the touch. It is not long until the kiss becomes passionate, with each girl's tongue getting lost in the other's mouth. Jade brings her lips to Perrie’s neck, making Perrie bite her lip in pleasure. She softly slides her hands under Jade's shirt, feeling her skin.

"Is this okay?" Perrie asks, struggling to speak as she is a bit breathless. Jade continues placing kisses on her skin while stopping for a second to say a quick yes. She begins undoing the buttons of Perrie’s blouse, her heart racing with anticipation. When Jade is done, she pushes Perrie’s shirt back, off of the blonde's shoulders, making it drop to the floor. She has seen Perrie wear a bra so many times by now, yet this feels so intimate and new, in the way Jade had only been watching Perrie in the last few weeks or so.

With the help of Perrie, Jade takes her shirt off and throws it next to her, on the benchtop. They are both impatient to see and feel more of each other, and Jade wraps her feet around Perrie’s hips.

"I'm not strong enough to carry you to the bed," Perrie says and laughs. Jade giggles, not wanting to ruin the mood, and pulls herself so she is standing on the floor, her body now equal to Perrie’s. They break off the kiss for a few moments, with Perrie leading Jade by the hand to the bed. Jade lies on the sheets on her back, and Perrie places herself on top of her. Moments later, they are both wearing nothing but lingerie.

Perrie kisses Jade's collarbone, and her hand reaches to Jade's back for the purpose of unhooking the brunette's bra. As soon as Jade is topless, Perrie begins massaging her breasts, making Jade feel as though she is dreaming. Perrie kisses Jade's abdomen, while Jade takes the blonde's bra off as well, touching her skin in a way she never did before. With mutual help, Jade's body is completely exposed. Perrie’s hand travels to the place Jade wants it the most. She asks for permission before pleasuring and pleasing Jade, making her feel like she is almost unable to contain everything she senses right now. Jade exhales as she reaches her climax, making Perrie bite her lip in satisfaction.

"I love this type of mornings," Perrie says, moving so she lies next to Jade. She kisses her cheek, then pulls the soft white blanket on top of their bare bodies, for the sole purpose of experiencing the feeling of their touching skin under the sheets.

"So do I," Jade says, burying her face in Perrie's collarbone and taking in her smell. There are countless thoughts inside her head, it feels like her senses have sharpened and there is so much going on in the silence. Eyes closed, she tries focusing on the one feeling which is the strongest of them all; she likes Perrie. After what just happened and how it made her feel, there is no doubt. It was so much more than the physical pleasure, it meant a lot beyond that. It was satisfying in all possible ways. She likes Perrie.

Now that Jade came to this conclusion, she needs to understand what the hell she is supposed to do with it.

×××

The next day, Jade enters Little Mix's dressing room. She finds Leigh-Anne inside, as Perrie and Jesy are out on the stage, watching the contestants rehearse. Jade feels helpless when she sits on a one of the chairs and covers her face with her hands in frustration. Leigh-Anne sits on the couch near Jade's chair, and begins speaking in a worried voice.

"Are you okay?" She asks.

"I like Perrie," Jade quietly replies. It feels both horrible and incredibly good to admit this out loud. "You said I should figure out how I'm feeling, and... I only realized this yesterday. I like Perrie, Leigh."

"Jade, look at me," Leigh-Anne says, and Jade places her hands on her lap, fidgeting with her fingers. "This is good! Now that you know how you feel about her, you can decide where you want to take this." Jade seems miserable, tears threatening to drop from her wet eyes to her cheeks. She cannot believe she got herself into this mess, it is wrong in so many ways. "Hey, you're not crying, okay? We're going on stage in a bit and you're going to ruin your makeup. I know it's a lot, and everything is so overwhelming right now, but please tell me what's going on. Why are you so upset?"

"Because this is so bad, Leigh! Why do I feel like I'm the only realistic one out of the four of us?! Can't you see that this is going to ruin everything?! You do not mix business and pleasure, there are so many reasons why! How can you and Jesy and Perrie be so calm about everything?! This is huge, this is wrecking everything I know, and you're not even acknowledging any of the consequences we're going to have to face!" Jade is not raising her voice, but she speaks quickly and strongly. Leigh-Anne wants to reply, but it takes a moment before she finds where to start.

"Jade, what are you so afraid of? The fans finding out?" She carefully asks, feeling like she is standing in front of a wildfire with nothing but a single bucket of water in her hands. "We're going to try keep it hidden, but will it really be that bad if-"

"Little Mix is never going to be the same if the fans will know about all of this! They're going to focus on Perrie and I and as a couple, can you seriously not see that? No one's going to give a shit about our music anymore! All they're going to say is 'look how cute jerrie is' and 'oh, it's the band with the lesbian couple!'" Jade explains, frustration completely taking over her. Leigh-Anne wishes she could simply cancel Jade's words, but knows that they do hold some truth. She plays in her imagination all of the times they have been asked about Zayn in interviews, and realizes that this could be the group's fate if people will find out about Jade and Perrie. They will constantly be in the center of everything, since the media only cares about celebrities' private lives and not their actual career.

"Okay, then we're just going to have to make sure no one finds out," Leigh-Anne says, trying to keep calm. This is the first time she understands the what it means for Perrie and Jade to be together. It is much more complicated than she initially thought. "We can do that. Is there anything else that worries you?"

"So many things, Leigh-Anne. I'm all over the place, I don't even know where to start," Jade replies.

"Just start with one thing, alright?" Leigh-Anne requests. Moment later, when she is yet to receive an answer, she tries directing Jade. "The group, maybe? Is there anything else you're scared that's going to affect Little Mix?" Jade takes a deep breath before speaking, still struggling to hold back the tears.

"I've already talked about this with Perrie and you, but... I'm so scared that this could ruin our friendship as four. I don't want a relationship to change everything between us."

"Jade, you and Perrie have been - I don't know - 'having fun' for like a month now. And we're still the same, aren't we?"

"Not exactly, Leigh," Jade states. "This is another thing you're missing. Right now, you and I are sitting here, just the two of us, talking about Perrie. We used to share everything with each other, there were no secrets between us. But now, look at us! And this is just the beginning. Imagine what's going to happen when I need advice about Perrie. Who am I going to turn to? I won't be able to tell anyone about Perrie and I! The only people who know will be you and Jesy, and it would be so unfair to talk about Perrie behind her back from my point of view with you two!"

"So maybe we are changing," Leigh-Anne admits. "But people change all the time, don't they? It doesn't have to be negative. The group is changing all the time, that's what keeps people interested in us! No one would be a fan of ours if we would always be the same; that's boring. So you don't need to worry about that. But Jade, I think you're worried about more than the public eye and our careers. I think you might ne worried about yourself?" By Jade's silence, Leigh-Anne understands this is the center of Jade's achilles heel. "Are you scared of getting hurt?"

"I know I will get hurt," Jade replies, her voice breaking. "Perrie and I, that could never work. Not in the long term, and I'm not sure it will work even for a week. I'm going to end up broken, I just know that."

"But Perrie is nothing like any of your exes!" Leigh-Anne points out, confident in her words. "If it won't work out, there's not going to be any drama, or revenge, or anything like that. She loves you too much to want to hurt you, I can promise you that."

"No, Leigh, you're right, but that's not what I'm talking about. I know Perrie won't ever try to hurt me, but... these things happen after a break up or whatever, they always do. If we will be together, we will break up, because like I told you, this has no real future. And we'll be distant for a while. We'll have to learn how to be friends again. This is what I'm dreading the most. I don't want that to happen."

"Tell me that you don't want a relationship with Perrie," Leigh-Anne challenges Jade.

"But I do! You know that I do," Jade replies. "It's just that it would be so complicated and hard, and there's going to be so much trouble afterwards."

"Now tell me that you won't turn the world upside down to have Perrie," Leigh-Anne asks Jade. Jade closes her eyes in desperation, trying to arrange her thoughts.

"I will," she finally answers.

"Then maybe - just maybe - the pain of the break up is worth the joy of the relationship. Maybe you should just... Have fun now, and stop worrying about the pain afterwards. Ask her what she thinks about the idea of you two being official, then take it from there. Have fun while you can, and if you're so sure this is not going to work out - just know that I'll be here for you when you're sad and broken."

Jade can almost physically feel everything coming together. She had entered this room feeling like a pathetic mess, but now she knows what she needs to do. Leigh-Anne is right. She needs to ask Perrie if they could become official. Before Jade has time to express this realization, the dressing room door opens, and Perrie and Jesy step inside.

"You're gorgeous," Perrie tells Jade, and a bright smile immediately appears on Jade's lips. It is time for final touches before the performance, and Perrie plays photographer and takes a picture of Jade as she puts on her knee high boots.

The two wander backstage, Perrie appreciating Jade's beauty through the lens. They laugh together until they are called to go to the stage.

The four girls play Black Magic, feeling better than ever. For the first time in a long time, Jade feels like she has got her feelings somewhat figured out. After the performance, she checks her phone in the dressing room. She already has hundreds of comments on that photo Perrie took of hers, and mindlessly scrolls through her notifications the way she usually does. After doing so, Jade feels like she has been walking around with a sticker on her back all day, which reveals everything that Perrie and her have been doing recently. How can all of these comments be explained otherwise?

Are Perrie and I that obvious? Jade asks herself. It is another reminder that hiding an actual relationship is not going to be easy at all. They are not even together now, so what is going to happen when they will be? What will the comments be like? Perrie is not even it photo, and people are already linking her with Jade.

Yet despite everything, she wants Perrie. She is going to ask her as soon she can.

Jade goes through the schedule on her phone, trying to find a fitting date. After debating, she decides on tomorrow, when they are going to have a few free hours in Philadelphia. She cannot arrange anything big, because she does not have time, and if she waits, she is going to start seeing the disadvantages again. It needs to be as soon as possible, even if that means the question is not going to be very romantic or special.

She just needs to wait until tomorrow, and all of her fears will temporarily disappear. Tomorrow, she is going to have Perrie.

A/n: so sorry if this sucks I've never written anything like this before🙈