Yoo, this one is so cute...but warning its a bit controversial! Carry on 💛

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Brooklyn:

Today just hasn't been a good day. I have been receiving so much hate because of the way I have been acting. The fans are are telling me I'm acting like a fuck boy. Like I am craving attention because I think I'm too hot not to. But when I stay off of social media for a second, people say that I have disappeared and probably left the band.

Like recently, I got the chance to go home. When I did, I naturally decided to stay off of social media because time with my family is precious. But, I learned that if I stay off for too long, people would accuse me of leaving the band. I got a text message from Jack saying I need to at least tweet something so the roadies know I'm ok. I did and now I'm getting a bunch of tweets asking where I have been and why haven't I been active. I then post an insta story explaining where I have been before posting a selfie as well. I scroll through the comments and liked all the positive ones, but it turns out there is a lot more hate then I could imagine.

*Why is he so moody?*

*He is so vain.*

*Not a good enough excuse for going rogue.*

*Does he not care about the band anymore?*

It hurts me so much to think that the fans think of me like that. Like I'm only in the band for myself. That I'm so egotistical. It brings tears to my eyes and today it kind of just broke me. It wasn't from something that was said this particular day, just the constant build up of all the negativity these past few months. I have been going through so much change and stress so having people that are suppose to be supporting me actually start to break me down, makes me feel like I'm not worth it.

That is when I need my support system, the guys. I can call on any of them if I ever need anything. Andy is amazing for when I need advice. You name it, he has been through it. He is a complete sage and knows just what to do when times get rough. Rye always knows how to cheer me up. He can make me smile after any situation so I call him up when I need to feel happy again. Jack is like my human form of meditation. When I feel my anxiety or panic attacks begin to flair up, I know that Jack's soothing words and touch will help calm me down.

But my rock, my everything, is Mikey. Mikey is like a perfect mixture of all three of the lads. He can take any mood I am in and make me feel safe. Thats why I love him. Thats why he is my boyfriend. He understands me the most out of all the guys and sometimes understands me more then most of my family. He knows when I am just having a banter or when I am being serious. He knows when I need him to be 'Mikey the boyfriend' or 'Mikey the bandmate'. He knows when I need him there or when I need to be alone. He knows me. He loves me.

"Good morning babe," speak of the devil and he shall appear. Mikey walks through the door with a two mugs and a big smile on his face. I sat up on my bed. "Here, hold these," he hands me the mugs and climbs up on the top bunk and sits next to me before giving me a kiss on the cheek. I turn to face him and plant a little kiss on his lips. He takes one of the mugs, "so what are the plans today?" He asks before taking a sip.

I sip some tea as well, "I don't mind, whatever you want to do is ok." I lean against his shoulder wanting some comfort.

"Are you okay?"

I look up to worried blue eyes staring back down at me. "Im, alright," I mumble playing with the cup in my hands.

"Oh no you don't," Mikey says taking the cup from me.

"Hey, I wasn't finished with that," I say crossing my arms over my chest. He starts to move around on the bed, "where are you going?" He reaches down to the little bed side table that holds some random things and places the mugs on there before sitting back up. He moves to lay down in my bed, head on my pillow, and motions for me to lay down as well.

"Well come on," he smiles, "you need a cuddle."

I lay down so we are face to face. He is resting his head on one of his hands and stares at me. I blush a little, he still makes me feel like I have a stupid crush on him. "What?" I laugh trying to break the silence.

"I'm just trying to figure out what's wrong with ya."

I frown. "Its, just a lot. As the fans grow, so does the hate. I feel like that shouldn't happen."

He sighs then gives me a kiss on the forehead, "Brooklyn, no matter how big we make it, just know that there will be trolls and haters. No matter what you do, you will feel like they are attacking you, but remember, the guys are here for you," he places a tiny kiss on my lips, "I'm here for you. You know I'm not going anywhere any time soon."

I look up to him, "they make me feel like nothing I do is right. I am already self-conscious about my personality and it sucks when someone points out my flaws. It makes me feel like I'm not wanted here."

"Babe," he sighs again, "you are wanted here. The true fans want you here, Blair wants you here, the guys want you here," he gives me a kiss on the nose causing me to giggle, "I want you here." He pulls me on top if him and I lay my chin on his chest. "You don't need to be self-conscious about anything you do. You are perfect."

I smile and start to feel a blush fall on my cheeks. He always knows what to say to make a feel better. I love this gorgeous man. I lean down and kiss him. Our kiss stays sweet until we hear my door burst open.

"GOOD MORNING BROOKIE! The live wanted to say hi," Jack shouts.

I quickly lay on my side to hide Mikey until he pulls the covers over his face. Then I turn around to face him, "hey guys, whats up?" The last thing we need right now is expose something that we shouldn't.

I cannot wait for the day that Mikey and I get to come out. We will get to be able to do whatever we want whenever we want together. For now, I am just happy he is here with me because I do not know where I would be without my rock.