I’m not angry. I’m… I’m not angry. There is nothing to be angry about. Nothing at all. But… what’s this feeling. This pure hatred. The feeling of my gut twisting. My fingernails digging into the skin of my hands. The fire that seemed to fill my body. I’m not angry. I’m not. Really.

A tear rolled down my cheek, cooling down my hot body. My body now cold, shaking. My hands unclenching, only to leave bloody nail marks. My gut still seemed to twist. It felt as if someone was punching me in the stomach. The tears kept rolling down my face. I kept trying to wipe them away, but they only turned red because of the blood on my hands, and they kept coming. And coming. And coming.

I’m not angry. I’m not angry. But if I’m not angry, what am I?

Flashback

I was making my way to the old mans office. Today is the day. Today is the day I tell him who I really am. I’m done hiding. I just want to walk around freely without hiding myself from the village- basically the world.

Plus, I’m done acting like Naruto. I kinda feel bad because poor little Hinata seemed to be a bit… ahem… gay for him, but that’s just the way the cookie crumbles. Thinking back on it, he always seemed to call me Naruko… oh shoot. How the heck did Hinata of all people figure it out?!

Kurama laughed, basically rolling on the ground.

‘You knew?!’ I thought back incredulously. ‘Why didn’t you tell me?’

Kurama heaved a few breaths to calm down before speaking. he replied honestly.

‘I can’t believe you, I just… you know what? Nevermind.’

I blocked Kurama out and continued walking towards gramps’ office. Unfortunately, I was interrupted again.

“Hey Naruto, haven’t seen you in a long while,” Shikamaru stated. “It’s been a drag to listen to Ino talk about Sasuke this and Sasuke that. I bet Sakura’s been worse.”

Not seeing any point of using my mask since I’m about to reveal myself anyway, I replied like I would in my normal, Naruko form. “Yeah, that banshee doesn’t know how to shut up. Now if you excuse me, I’m in a hurry.”

Shikamaru made no move to go after me. I heard him suck in a breath as if he was going to say something, but then muttered, “What a drag.” and walked off.

I myself let out a little huff and quickened my pace. No ones going to stop me. No one. I took a turn, showing me that I only had fifty meters to go. Today is the day. I just know it.

“Hey idiot, why are you in such a hurry?” Sakura called out. Great. Just what I need right now. A screaming banshee.

I let out a hard sigh and turned towards her, stopping in my tracks. “If you must know, I need to tell the old man something important, so if you’ll excuse me…” I trailed off, starting to walk off again, only for her to stop me again.

“As if you have anything important to say to him,” she yelled, “you don’t even have anything important to say period.”

Now that irked me. Even as Naruto, I have plenty of important things to say. Sometimes I’ll say something that I have read in a book and bring it up while we’re training. Given, most of the time I talk about ramen, but if she just listened.

“Besides, I don’t know why Lord Hokage even bothers with an idiot, no good like you,” she stated in a matter-of-fact tone. “You should try harder, or listen to the villagers and leave. I see now why they always tell you to get out of Konoha. All you ever do is play pranks and goof off,” she continued.

“I know that you weren’t raised by your parents’, but that’s no excuse for your behavior. I tried to be like an older sister and scold you, but no! You just continue to be you.”

“No Sakura, I don’t,” I said quietly. “I have never been me and I probably never will.”

With that said, I turned around and walked back to my apartment in tears.

End of Flashback

I clenched my teeth and let the tears fall. Am I angry? Am I sad? Or am I just a mixture of both? I dug my hands through my long hair, pushing it out of my tear stained face. Why didn’t I go and tell gramps? I was so close. How did Sakura stop me? She provoked me, so it should’ve been easier to bust threw the door saying that I was actually a girl.

I took in a long, shaky breath. Breath Naruko. Breath. I thought to myself. My hands found their way to my face and wiped off the last of my tears. I looked down at my hands and began to think about Sakura’s words.

“I don’t know why Lord Hokage bothers with a no good idiot like you.”

Ha. A not good idiot. Is that what everyone thinks of me? No. Stop it Naruko. Don’t let her get to you. If anything, that was a complement. It shows how well your henge is working and how good your acting is.

I looked in the mirror. My large blue eyes were now red and puffy, but had some clarity to them. The hair on my head was now a birds nest, and the clothes on my were wrinkled from hunching over.

I touched my face. An idiot, huh?

I slapped my cheeks with both of my hands and began to think normally again. “I wonder what happened to Kurama, he seems awfully quiet,” I spoke out loud.

I entered my mindscape and was surprised by what I found. There Kurama stood, his front paws in boxing gloves, punching a picture of a smiling Sakura.

he yelled out, punching the bag when he said ‘this’ and ‘that.’ he suddenly cut himself off when his eyes wandered towards me. Kurama looked at me in surprise, then at his boxing gloves, then at the picture of Sakura, and then back to me.he yelled out, throwing the boxing gloves behind him and inching in front of the punching bag.

I bursted out laughing and wiped a tear from my eye. “I was wondering why you were so quiet.”

he said while, blushing? I can’t really tell because of his orange fur.

I then raised a single eyebrow at him. “Since when was I your Naruko?” I questioned.

Kurama looked offended by my words.

I raised my hands in defeat. “Okay, okay. I fight you there. Anyway, I came here to get my mind off what Pinky Pie said, so… want to play Uno?” I asked, slowing my words down.

Kurama put on a pair of sunglasses and pulled out a deck of freshly shuffled Uno cards out of this air.

{May 2, 2019}

Hey ya’ll, tomorrows my birthday, so I plan on maybe making myself a birthday special? I dunno. I also have a dumb track meet tomorrow so I might not be able to… Oh well. Happy 16th birthday to me.

Oh and sorry, weirdly_lazy, for not sending this to you. I literally made this in the process of 1 Biology class and 3 English classes on my school email so I couldn’t send it to you.