This chapter is dedicated to TOKYO_GIRL_2020

Happy reading!

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Mi Ho pov:

I felt light headed at the sight in front of me. Madara had just walked past me and now the others were passing me. The smell of blood was so intense, it made me dizzy.

I looked back as Madara walked away from me but my mind was racing. "Madara!" I called out and he stopped walking. "W-what is going on?" I asked airily and leaned against the wall as my knees wobbled. "W-why are you covered in blood?" He chuckled to my question. "Oh? I'm glad to see that you're worried about my well being. But there's no need. Its not mine." He said and I shivered at the tone of his voice. He sounded amused and....somehow satisfied.

"That's not the point....why are you covered in blood?" I asked a little more sternly this time. I wanted an answer from him. I wasn't going to let him say 'it doesn't concern you' and just walk away like that. Not this time.

But my blood went cold and I regretted asking him that question when I saw the look on his face. He turned his head back to look at me and he was smirking madly. He had a cruel and malicious glint in his eyes and I couldn't suppress the violent shudder that escaped. His sharingan was glowing and I clenched my fists tightly as a shudder rocked my body.

“I just helped slaughter the Uzumaki clan. A clan that tied a treaty with the Senju. Their screams, their blood, their devastated looks….it was thrilling! What amazing power my eyes possess now!” He chuckled loudly and I breathed heavily. “Madara….you….why? How could you do that? They weren’t responsible for what happened to Izuna!” I said and walked towards him through the other people. Madara only chuckled again and put a hand on his hip. “They were a threat to the other clans and an ally to the Senju. So I just helped in taking care of them.”

He said it so easily. I shook my head and looked to the side, my eyes stinging. “No….no…you cant. You cant do this, Madara. Please! You’re turning into someone I don’t even know! This has to stop! Or else you’re going to end up hurting yourself!” His eyes narrowed at me and his hand shot out to grab my upper arm in a painfully tight grip. “Ah! That hurts! Let go!” I yelled but he pulled harder and I bit my cheek to stop from letting out my pained voice.

He brought his face close to mine and I felt dizzy again at the smell of blood. “Don’t interfere in the matters of my clan. You are an outsider. Just be glad that you have freedom to walk in my presence. If it were anyone else, I would have sliced off their tongue by now.” He sneered and I shivered. He let me go, pushing me to the hard ground. I gasped and coughed as my stomach hurt like crazy. But he didn’t spare me another glance and he walked away to his room.

My eyes stung and I watched him until he disappeared through his door. I bit my lip and wobbled up again. I didn’t like this Madara. I knew he was a crude person to begin with but the way he was acting now....he was losing all of his composure. If this continued, I don’t know what would happen to him or any other clan in this world, let alone the Senjus. He wasn’t holding back even a bit and if he could go to the extent to find slaughtering a clan thrilling….I don’t know what I was supposed to think anymore.

I ran a hand through my hair frustrated. I shook my head and made it to the dining room. Tajima san and Mioki san were already there and I winced as I sat down in front of them. I didn’t lift my head and I didn’t look up at them. Food was served to us and they began to eat, but I felt like I had lost my appetite. I was still feeling very queasy at all the blood I had seen and the metallic smell hadn’t left my nose either.

“Why aren’t you eating?” I heard Tajima san ask and I sighed. I looked up at him almost desperately and he narrowed his eyes. “Tajima san….I just met Madara in the hallway.” I said and he hummed out a response and went back to eating. “He was covered in blood….he just returned after killing a whole clan.” I said and he looked up. He did seem a little surprised but he nodded and went back to eating again.

“Tajima san, this is serious!” I put my hands on the table. He sighed and put down his chopsticks to look at me. “There is nothing out of the ordinary in this. We fight wars and kill people of other clans so that we can thrive. And being the leader of the Uchiha clan, it is not uncommon for Madara to fight and kill our enemies.” “That’s not what I’m talking about!” I yelled and he narrowed his eyes in warning.

“He’s….he’s….I don’t know! Ever since Izuna died, he’s just changed! Its like he’s losing his mind! Tajima san, we have to do something! I’ve never seen him act this way before and….I’m worried. He doesn’t seem to think rationally anymore. He yells at everyone and hurts them and….” “That is not for you to worry.” Tajima san said sternly. “What does that mean? Is it wrong for me, as a friend, to be worried about him? This is really something that cannot be looked over!”

"That's enough." Tajima san said and I hesitated. "If you are going to silently eat, you may stay here. If you are going to disturb our meal, you may leave." What...what was Tajima san saying? Wasn't he even in the least bit worried about Madara? Wasn't he worried that Madara was losing his composure and just doing things in his blind rage? He was already hurting his own men. If this continued.....I don't know what was going to happen.

I sighed defeated and I looked down. Looks like they weren't going to do anything no matter what I said. I took the support of the table and pushed myself off the floor. "I'm sorry I disturbed your meal." I said softly and excised myself from the room. I walked slowly through the corridor and stopped at the garden. I looked up at the sky, at the full moon. Things here were so different than before. I almost felt I wasn't in the same place anymore.

I looked to the side and decided to take the chance to visit Madara. He would probably get angry again for me visiting, but I just wanted to see. I took a deep breath as I stood outside his door. I hesitated but I knocked. There was no answer. I sighed, shook my head and slid the door open. It was dark and I squinted till my eyes adjusted to the lack of light. I stepped inside and looked around trying to find Madara. I gasped when I saw him sitting near the window.

He was sitting shirtless, rolls of bandages and bottles of antiseptic lying around him as he tried to treat a large gash on his back. It reached all the way from his left shoulder till his right waist. My eyes went wide and he looked at me when he heard me gasp. "Madara! You're hurt! I'll call the healer!" I said flustered and I turned around. But I stopped in my tracks when he growled. "Don't you dare move, girl. If you try to call the healer, I'll kill you."

I looked back at him with a glare. "What do you think you're saying? You have to get that treated!" I scolded. "I can do it myself so shut up!" He snarled causing me to clench my jaw. I pinched the bridge of my nose and sighed at his difficult behavior. I closed the door after that and walked to him. "Fine, I wont call the healer. At least, let me help." I said in an even tone and he activated his sharingan to threaten me. "I don't need your help or your advice!"

This time I snapped. "Would you stop acting like a jerk for once?! You're injured and you cant reach far enough to treat your wound! I wont lecture you....you'd probably bleed to death before I could lecture you. So you should shut up and let me help you!" I gave him a glare, showing him that I wasn't going to back down. He watched me for a few minutes and then gave up. He scoffed and let the cloth in his hands fall to the ground.

I sighed and sat down behind him. He had his hair pulled to the side over his shoulder and I bit my lip looking at the wound. It was a clean slice by a sword and it was deep. There were already five clothes soaked in red and I could tell he had lost quite a bit of blood already. He hid his exhaustion well, but he was sweating and breathing slightly raggedly. I picked up another clean cloth and stood on my knees.

"This is going to sting....I have to get the bleeding,to stop first." I said softly and he stiffened as I put pressure on his wound. The cloth already absorbed some blood and turned red. But I stayed still with the constant pressure on his back.

After a few minutes, the bleeding finally stopped and I gently pulled the cloth away. I gave a relieved sigh seeing the blood start to clot now. I reached for the antiseptic and he stiffened again as I applied it on his wound. It probably stung, but it would help in healing so he was sitting still. After I had applied enough, I reached for the bandages. I put my arms around his chest, reaching around as I wrapped his wound. His fists were clenched tightly and he looked like he was controlling himself from doing anything rash.

"Madara?" I asked softly. "I know I said I wouldn't lecture you. But....its ok to let things out sometimes. I know how you're feeling and its a difficult situation for you. Its not something that anyone can understand easily. But, it's not good to bottle things up. I know you need some time alone but please, use that time to calm yourself and stop acting rashly. I'm worried that you'll hurt yourself in your anger." He didn't react to what I said. I resisted a sigh since I was sure that my words hadn't reached him.

"I'm done." I said as I stood up. I threw away the blood stained clothes and walked back to him. "I know this has something to do with your pride in front of your clansmen. So I'll try to get some medicine secretly from the healer. You should try to lie down and get some rest till then." I told him. I shook my head helplessly and turned around to walk away. But I felt a hard pull on my arm and I fell on Madara and collided with his chest. He brought an arm around me holding me against him tightly. My heart sped up a bit since he was shirtless but I stayed silent and held him around his chest gently.

Staying silent, holding people like this....it wasn't like him. He wasn't the kind who would reach out to anyone even if he needed the emotional support. He was too prideful to do that. And I know what it felt like to challenge someone's pride, so I didn't comment about it.

“I don’t trust anyone anymore.” He said as he tightened his hold. I glanced sideways at him in confusion. “Hashirama wants to sign a peace treaty….and my men are starting to fall out of my grasp. They are losing the will to fight for the clan.” He said and I looked down. In some way I could understand that he was feeling betrayed and rejected. But it wasn’t that surprising. Everyone had been fighting for so long….it was known that someday they would get tired of the never ending fighting and hope for peace.

I took a breath and slowly let go of Madara. He was watching cautiously and curiously to see my reaction. I gave a small smile as I suddenly felt like being the person he wanted to lean on. I was already honored that he told me how he felt instead of talking to his parents or anyone else in the clan. He was somehow like a child and adult at the same time.

He was an adult in the way he took decisions, the way he judged people, the way he expressed himself. Yet, he was a child afraid to lose what he believed in. afraid to be the only one to trust in his beliefs. And it gave me a motherly feeling of wanting to help in some way.

I gently touched his cheek with my palm and his eyes turned curious. I smiled a little more. “You know? You’re a complicated person. Sometimes you’re so easy to read while other times, I cant tell what’s going on in your head. right now, you need some time to think.” I said and he narrowed his eyes. “Are you saying that you support the idea of the peace treaty?” He asked annoyed and I laughed. I rubbed his cheek gently with my thumb and ran my fingers through his hair.

I hadn’t realized our position until now and I blushed just a little. I was sitting on my knees between his legs and he had his palm pressed on my mid back. We were so close to each other and he was almost caging me to himself. I could feel the warmth radiate off his body and….I liked it.

He seemed to relax as I silently caressed his head and ran my fingers through his hair. He closed his eyes as I massaged his forehead and the tense stiffness on his face seemed to reduce too. He sighed and opened his eyes, his expression now calm and relaxed.

“I’m not supporting you or the peace treaty.” I said gently and he narrowed his eyes. “I don’t know anything about the war and the reasons for your fighting. It would be wrong for me to support either one without knowing and understanding what exactly the situation is. But all I know is, its not their decision and its not your analysis of the situation either.” “What do you mean? I still feel you’re supporting the Senjus. Then again….what should I expect. You were with them before and you liked them. Its an obvious agreement.” He pulled his hand away and I felt my back lose its source of warmth.

He was about to get up, but I held his shoulders tightly and prevented him from getting up. He glared at me and I have him a hard look too. “I’m not done talking with you, so don’t you dare move your butt off the floor.” I scolded and he looked a little shocked at the way I spoke to him. But he didn’t get up and I moved his hair out of his face again.

“I already told you, I’m not supporting anyone. But sometimes, you cant use rationality to decide what to do in some situations. The mind is a complicated thing. It uses thoughts, situations, profits and loss and so many other things to judge your decision. And thinking of all that is pretty stressful most of the time, isn’t it?” I asked with another smile and he frowned. “Then what are you trying to imply?”

I placed a hand on his chest above his heart and he stiffened. “Sometimes, you have to let your heart take the decision. Because the heart is what gives you the strongest and most honest judge – your emotions. Sometimes, letting your heart lead the way….makes you take the right decision and takes you to the best place.” We didn’t break eye contact and I could feel his heart thudding under my palm. It was a strong and balanced thudding and I felt warm.

A few minutes later, I broke our eye contact and looked down with a smile. “All I’m saying is, you should do what you really want. Don’t worry about what others will think or say, don’t worry about the future that is yet to come. You have nothing to fear so take the decision that you think is right. Give your heart a chance and chose what the real you, the real, honest you wants to do in this situation. And I promise, I wont be someone to say anything against your decision.”

I looked back at him. “I know that my say in the matter doesn’t mean much, but if you take the right choice, the choice that the person you know you are in here wants, then don’t hesitate. And you can trust me that this works…..it comes from personal experience.” I laughed softly as he watched me passively. I couldn’t stop myself as I leaned up and kissed his forehead gently. I pulled away smiling cheekily. “That’s for good luck!”

I stood up after that and walked to the door. I slid it opened and I was about to leave but I paused and turned around again. “Ah, hana dho [one more thing]…I know I said I wouldn’t advice you but I’ll do so in just one thing. Tonight, don’t think of anything. Not about the clan, not about what I said, nothing. Get a good rest tonight and your mind will be clear and tension free to think properly. Good night.” I wished him with another smile and walked out the door back to my room.

Madara pov:

Not think of anything tonight? Trust my heart? A kiss for good luck?

I couldn’t understand anything that happened just now. This was the first time I had seen her sincerely talk to me without a hint of distaste. Its not that she was distasteful after we agreed to get along, but she was still distant. She never poked into my matters and we constantly quarreled over minor things. And this was the first time she had spoken to me with….warmth.

Was she really concerned for me? Or was it just the spur of the moment? I wasn’t sure which it was, but I actually felt a lot better after what she had told me.

What was it that I wanted? What was the decision that I wanted to take? It was my goal that I would start a village for a peaceful life to protect Izuna. But after Izuna was killed, my driving force for the kind of peace I had imagined with Hashirama was shattered. I had no reason to aim for peace. Instead, I wanted to become a person to dominate the clans and bring about true peace. But what was this true peace I was aiming for? What did I really want now?

I ran a hand through my hair frustrated. “And you can trust me that this works…..it comes from personal experience.” What Mio said went through my mind. What did she mean when she said it was from personal experience? Did she have to take a crucial decision in her life too? She had honestly confessed that she didn’t know how this war worked, but she hadn’t said anything that made me angry. She hadn’t said anything that supported me or Hashirama. She had just told me that I had to be true to myself and do what I wanted to.

Besides the advice she had given me, she had become worried when she saw the wound on my back. She had insisted on treating it and her touch was gentle. And why did she kiss me?

I didn’t have much time to think about it because I heard her humming in the distance. I frowned and got up. The wound on my back sent a sharp pain through me but I gritted my teeth and pushed it away. I put on a shirt, not wanting anyone to see me bandaged and I walked out of my room. I walked to a garden a little away from my room and saw Mio standing in the middle of the garden barefoot and looking at the sky. I had dismissed her guards several days ago and she hadn’t escaped once…..and I trusted her now.

She parted her lips and began to sing and I clenched my fists tightly.

[Crash and Burn by Savage Garden]

When you feel all alone, And the world has turned it's back on you

Give me a moment please to tame your wild wild heart

I know you feel like the walls are closing in on you, It's hard to find relief and people can be so cold

When darkness is upon your door and You feel like you can't take anymore

[Chorus]

Let me be the one you call

If you jump I'll break your fall

Lift you up and fly away with you into the night

If you need to fall apart

I can mend a broken heart

If you need to crash then crash and burn

You're not alone

When you feel all alone, And a loyal friend is hard to find

You're caught in a one way street, With the monsters in your head

When hopes and dreams are far away and You feel you can't face the day

[Chorus]

Because there has always been heartache and pain

And when it's over you'll breathe again

You'll breathe again