Computer Problems & Dog Death

October 9, 2000

Dear Parents,

Namaskars! By God's Grace here all is going on well. Praying that you are well there also.

First, thanks for your e-mail dated 1 October. I received it a few days ago. So you are not 'jumping for joy' about me coming! When I think deeply, I wonder if I can bear coming back after all. There are good and bad points everywhere. America is so foreign that I wonder if I can actually go through with it. So I am fluctuating back and forth, from being disgusted with some things here and wanting to go, to being fearful of life there and thinking it would be better to remain in the frying pan of India instead of the fire of America! So we will see.

Anjaneyulu finally took the big computer to Visakhapatnam and had it repaired, didn't I tell you? He later asked me, in front of Mataji, why I did not thank him. I thought to myself, I had to wait three weeks for its repair when I could have done it myself, why should I thank him? So I left without saying anything.

However, ever since Windows was rebooted after we had the hard disk crash, it is taking a very long time to save things. So now the Hyderabad girls say it is too much trouble to work, and they gave up using it. So the poor computer is remaining as a white elephant. Anjaneyulu keeps saying he will put it in the office and train people to use it, but you know how inefficient the Indians are. Only God can say when it will actually happen.

We have been having a strange thing here lately, called HIGH VOLTAGE. Suddenly electricity voltage becomes very high and fans, light bulbs etc., all burn out. In the last three weeks there has been heavy loss of bulbs and fans in the Ashram. I've been lucky: only one bulb burn out. Chandravati hasn't had a fan in two weeks, and we can't turn on the refrigerator until the high voltage problem is fixed.

Some repairmen came but said they couldn't locate the problem. In the meantime they are requesting no one to use fans or lights! (not many people are listening, of course!) And burnt-out lights are not being replaced, as they would only burn out again. This is the situation.

Anyway, I brought my new recorder and played it for about 30 minutes that night. The next morning I put it on and less than two minutes later- BANG!!- there was an explosion inside it, and smoke poured out for a full minute! It looked OK outside, only a burning smell. Maybe due to the high-voltage???

I went that very day back to Kakinada and said innocently, "There must be some fault inside, it blew up inside!" Immediately the nice man gave me a new recorder! (I often buy things from that shop.) Now am careful and am only using batteries. Lucky that they gave a new one, eh!

The dog update is this: our Mangamma finally became charmed with the macho blood-thirsty Romeo, and he also accepted her. They became a team: Romeo, Mangamma and the white dog with white eyes who rose from the dead (after being beaten and left for dead). They would come and fall upon Vijaya. Now Vijaya has become a pitiful nervous wreck, scared to death all the day (spent mostly under my bed).

Seeing the situation, I got someone to get the deadly and dangerous type of poison used on crops. One or two tiny seeds would kill anyone, they said (several people had stories of love-sick people in their villages killing themselves with it). We mixed it up with sugar, making sweet balls, 15 to 20 seeds in each ball, and threw it to Romeo. He smelled it and walked away! Next Mangamma by his side, went up and gobbled four or five balls. You know dogs and food: we can't try to remove it from their jaws. Can't even go near when a dog is eating, they growl viciously.

In a few hours Mangamma laid dead, blood oozing from her mouth. Next morning four or five crows who had finished the remaining sweet balls, were also laying dead. What tragedy! The wrong ones killed. Mangamma lost her life due to joining Romeo. And Romeo remains at large, due to fate. The remaining two rowdies are stalking Vijaya night and day. He is careful about remaining out of their grasp.

Now I feel only like giving up, as the law of Nature is to let the strong survive. See how I interfered with nature, and see what happened. Mangamma was essentially innocent, although in the few days she was with Romeo she learnt to fall viciously on other dogs by the Canal, due to Romeo's training. Well what to do. No doubt I will have to suffer some Karma for the unnecessary deaths. Live and learn.

OM SAI RAM!

Love,

Divya