Blessings for Translator’s Group

August 22, 2000

Dear Parents,

Namaskars! All is OK here. This will be a quick letter, I hope!

I got a really happy-news letter from SH. It seems that they formed a group of all the translators and two people handed over a letter to Sathya Sai Baba. They also got their own scarf, a pink one with silver lettering, with 'Premsai' on one side and 'Sai Seva' on the other. (Premsai is the name of the Internet site with all the discourses.)

It seems that the very first afternoon after the scarves were distributed, one of the members got a good seat in front. When Swami came in, He was staring at the scarf and reading it. He came up to her saying, 'Sai Seva', 'Prem Sai.' Then He asked, 'Premsai, what is it?'

The lady said, "We're a small group, Swami." (She forgot the translator part, but you know how it is when Swami is right there talking to you!) Then He asked, "What country?" and she answered, "We are from many countries, Swami." Then He circled His hand and made some vibhuti and gave it to her.

SH sent me a bit of the Vibhuti. (It had to be distributed amongst the 14 translators!) I was happy to gulp down the white vibhuti, smelling just like Swami creates it, the tell-tale wonderful Sai-smell! Some Grace, eh!

Enclosed are notes from Vara Lakshmi Vratam. Both Padmamma and SH wrote me news of it. It was a big event, the first time Swami ever celebrated it, which is wondrous in itself. More big events leading up to 75th year, I guess!

Vara=boons, Vratam=any ritualistic vow or puja. This puja is very popular amongst married ladies, and is done with big pomp and show, the main results desired is to secure long life without becoming a widow first.

It seems that it is a big ‘do’ with Swami's whole family. Every year they would invite all their personal friends, including many VIP residents of Prasanthi Nilayam, to their village homes, and give away the usual choli-pieces, fruits etc. Once Venkamma took me around on one Vara Lakshmi Puja Day. We had to visit around five or six of the relative's houses, and I lugged around a bag of all the gifts given away to us.

Anyway, this year Swami had 108 VIP's including all non-widows in Swami's family who were present (they must have made up at least 30 ladies!), and everyone did the traditional puja with all paraphernalia, in the Sai Kuwait Hall itself.

The discourse was nice - I am sure ladies all over the world are making their men-folk study it well! It's good - let them learn to treat the ladies of the world better.

I am going on with discourses from Sai Towers also.

It is strange that immediately after I wrote you about the construction of the Big Tower one month ago, they took down the ground level iron scaffolding and went away, only leaving piles and piles of sand bags lying around! Only the four base pillars, only two or three feet above the ground, remain. Maybe they are waiting for the cement to get hard enough to start building the tower. No workers or noise since then, hooray!

I am taking part less and less with things outside - like I don't exchange news with anyone, just do my work and return. I am feeling really introvert lately. Jnaneswari went on some day-trip yesterday, to a distant city, and was gone 5 AM till 10 PM, but I didn't even know about it till late that morning! Not much news is reaching my ears lately, thank Swami. Bliss is ignorance.

There were two more big meetings (only with top Ashram officials) and I could hear the arguing from my room, going on hours and hours, but happily don't know what they were saying. Just the shouting voices of Uncle, Anjaneyulu and RS Raju, the other Visakhapatnam big-wig. Jnaneswari also had to sit through these meetings. All plans for the improvement of the Ashram, only Swami knows what's in store next.

LOKA SAMASTHA SUKHINO BHAVANTU!

Love,

Divya

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America & India: Ruminations

September 6, 2000

Dear Parents,

Namaskars and Sai Ram! Hope all is well with you. Here all is fine.

Here all is OK. The dog battles have thinned out a bit. Maybe the Kaurava dogs are bored. Of course the Yama Dhootas (exterminators) did not return. What a joke: stunning the poor dogs, collecting their money and beating it. Some experts! It was in the dog’s Karma to suffer, not to go to dog heaven so soon.

Now how long has it been since I have had restless feeling to go? One year has passed!! I keep making plans and Jnaneswari says something that makes me think that she would be put to difficulty and suffer mental hurt if I went (as if it was her fault). So I keep putting it off. I can't seem to stay here and I can't stand the thought of living in the world! Swami will guide what to do.

The feeling of restlessness has taken ahold of me lately, no matter how much I try to fight it. This is the time of V's leaving the world. She left on 24 Sept. (1993) and strangely, I remember my Kriya initiation to have been 18 September (1982). Other big things may have happened in the month of September, but I don't remember now. Interesting to say, this year marks the 7th year complete since she left. Seven years, hmmm.

Also, looking back I find that major changes have come every four or five years, and now that recently I have completed six years here, a change is overdue! (The restless feeling to go started on completion of the fifth year, right on schedule!) Left school-1980, Arrive India-1984, With V-from 1989, Leave Prasanthi Nilayam-1994 (late 1993), Computer arrives-1998.

I'm so tired, sorry Swami, of seeing all the people on the spiritual path who seem to be the same as those in the world, except they keep some time for devotedly saying prayers! Then again, I haven't had much contact with worldly peeps. Some of the stories of the ruthless ways of the world, all for money and position, are really spine-tingling in a horrific way. Death is no way out, no matter what you may feel, Mom. It is my firm conviction that it is the same in the other world too, only in more subtle bodies.

Swami is drawing me out somewhere, I know not where. Maybe He wants me to experience the outside world. I just remembering the sickening feeling in USA, the totally mixed-up values that suck everyone into their grasp, making people think wrong things were perfectly OK. Sometimes, thinking back, I'm pretty impressed how Swami gave me such steady and firm values, even in the midst of the jaws of American lifestyle! I could see so clearly their perverted attitudes, like a witness, and I just think it is a wonderful miracle I was not sucked up like everyone else.

Whenever I plan to make a move, I always remember the dream I had long, long ago (it is in my dream book that you have with you). In it, I danced and played on the whole world which was condensed into one small place. I would skip over tiny ponds which were really oceans, and spray a bit of water up which would cause cyclones over the earth. Thus I danced and played over the whole earth, my playground.

I remember this dream to put things in the right prospective. The entire world is only our home, our playground, with nothing to fear or be anxious about. I also have firm faith that time is only our delusion. Everything is here and now, even the past, present and future. Whatever has to happen will happen, and no matter what karma we go through, it is all meant to be and all for our good. Without experiences how could we grow and learn?

The one irritating thing about India is wherever I go, I stick out like a sore thumb, more like a white dot in the middle of a black piece of paper! Everyone turns their heads as if some novel zoo animal was parading the streets, and there are murmurings of "Foreigner, foreigner!" everywhere. For the most part, anyone selling anything tries their best to cheat as they think foreigners have so much moola to throw away.

At least in America more than half the people (I think!) are foreigners, and no one turns their head twice no matter what nationality is walking by. Even the so-called Americans are all mixed nationalities! People also very admiringly respect the lifestyles of others, whereas here one is dogged at every step to conform and do only what they feel is acceptable. On the other hand, Indians have the praise-worthy quality of being consistent, patient and loyal to a much greater extent.

This time when I went to Kakinada, I was smart due to experience, and lugged the wonderful stuffed-animal bag (empty, of course!!). All my shopping was put in that and zipped up nicely, and I think this is the first time in all my years shopping in Kakinada, that I arrived home with everything I bought!! (Usually I leave at least one plastic bag of stuff in some shop or the other, due to so many bags to look after, and only discovering the loss after arriving back here, when it is too late).

9 Sept: I'm sort of playing with the idea of going out somewhere, maybe if I go out things will start to happen on their own. I'm looking around but nothing definite yet. In the last two weeks I went twice to Kakinada and twice to Tuni, a nearby town on the opposite side to Kakinada (towards Visakhapatnam). Plus on Venkamma's anniversary day (Sept. 7th, this year according to Tithi) I went to the nearby temple town of Annavaram, just to get away I think! The temple is to Satya Narayana, so it’s like seeing Swami (who was named after this god) on V's day.

The devotees here don't know what to make of me, they've been saying things like, "We don't see her much anymore," "She's not talking to anyone much," "She isn't well lately," "She's coming less and less to Satsang."

So it isn't good to be near the electrical tower? I can understand that. Only 50 feet or so, from my front door! They have not put it up yet, maybe the foundation cement is still drying. I see some wires have been buried nearby. I also notice that just about a kilometer or less away, is another line of towers. Why more, so close? I guess ours is not to question why!

As for putting the towers up where there's no people, in most of India that is impossible. Everything is so crowded here! It seems wherever one goes, there is a small village right nearby, teaming with simple villagers going about their life.

Along with your letter came that of Ganesh day discourse, so I'm off to translate. The other day I got the Rs. 1,000 for translating discourses, but at the same time the water boy David asked for help to buy medicines for his pregnant wife (she had two miscarriages in the past). Also to pay off their dept of installing electricity in their house (otherwise they would have to succumb to the merciless paws of money lenders) So WHOOSH! Away went the bulky sum of Rs. 1,000! (He said it would only be a loan but I told him, don't be stupid, I know they'd never get the money to pay it off)

Never mind, proceeds from discourse seva went to seva, and when I die I can go with a clear conscience of helping fellow beings. Yesterday I sent in another 5 discourses (done over three weeks, in the middle I also translated two that SH sent), so another Rs. 1,000 will come. Swami gives and Swami takes away!!

So all for now, Hari Om! LOKA SAMASTHA SUKHINO BHAVANTU!

Love,

Divya