Quite Happy to be Free Like a Bird

February 20, 2000

Shanti Ashram

Dear Parents,

Namaskars! By Swami’s Grace, here all is fine. I don’t know what to write! Post sure seems slow, a time warp. I guess, never mind – we are all on time warps! Time passes differently for all. What is this I heard somewhere, that if the speed of light was overcome we could travel into the past? Swami’s creation is great, yep!

I am feeling happy, looking forward to going to Prasanthi Nilayam! It will be nice to see God again. :-)

Here all is quiet on the home front, though I can’t shake off the feeling of being a stranger here and it’s time to get away and move on. I had a surprise the other day when the mason and engineer came to my room, on instructions of the you-know-who new secretary. It seems they have been ordered to fix my room (make it free from rats and not leaking), and this when I am feeling I will fly off any second! Perhaps I will suddenly be released only when such big and unnecessary work is started!

They finally decided to remove one layer of tiles, clean it (the rat mess) thoroughly, then pour a coating of tar so not even an ant can slip in (their words), as well as patch up any small holes inside (between wooden supports) with cement. I am suggestion that they do it when I am in Parti, so no trouble for me or for them.

Small and big ratlings continue to make a terrible racket and new teenage babies are running about recklessly with minimum of fear (you know how teenagers are!!).

A few times when I got frustrated with the damage done by the rats, I considered putting rat poison in some food for them. But unlike Yoganandaji, before I raised a hand (to even order the poison), my conscience and feelings wouldn’t let me. I'm afraid that I'm more like the stupid Sadhu that kept getting stung by the scorpion, when he saved it from the water. Instead of letting the creature drown, he kept taking it out of the water and got stung, again and again.

Nothing much to report. I am feeling quite happy to be free like a bird. Whenever I see people tied down with responsibilities of family, especially with spouses and kids (100% of people here), I feel so happy and grateful that I don’t have any of that! It is all a terrible rat race out there. The life of jobs, buying, desiring and being immersed in the slime of responsibility is just horrifying to observe.

You mentioned America, but even if I wasn’t unwilling to return due to the society there – which I cannot adjust to – have you thought of the mire of paperwork and pressing bills that even a single person would have to face there? Insurance, taxes, bills, ID cards and licenses – UGH! Here I only have to renew a visa once a year, but there I would be bogged down with all unnecessary muck which I have no experience in. Here is heaven, to be sure!

Regarding night vigils, yep, people who are used to going to bed early if they force themselves to stay up, they will be groggy and tired the next day. What use is even sadhana like that?

All my years in Puttaparthi, I used to stay up all night for Sivarathri bhajans along with thousands of others, but everything became silent in the ashram the next morning, as soon as Swami disappeared after giving early morning Darshan and ending the bhajans, everyone went into deep slumber for the rest of the day. And those who gulped down the prasad before doing so, would wake up with diarrhoea, for sure!

All for now! Loka Samastha Sukhino Bhavantu!

Love,

Divya

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Healthy and Enjoying Comforts

March 12, 2000

Shanti Ashram

Dear Parents,

Namaskars. Thank you for your kind e-mail dated 29th. I received it here on the 1st. I am sending this in the mail on the 2nd. A postal strike is starting on the 5th. Besides, today I received the 75th B-day parcel with five new discourses (i.e., I will be busy). So we will resume discussions after the indefinite strike (may be one day, may be a lot longer!) as things posted from Kakinada will not reach me until it is over.

Until then, I believe that most of the answers of my opinions that you seek, can be found in previous letters. Something about drinking milk instead of counting cows and arguing over their breeding.

Here since 4-5 days a bunch of young, loud workers from Tamil Nadu are putting up the mobile phone tower. Great how they tie long, big ropes to nearby trees and thus lug up the big, heavy steel rods with their bare hands! Looks like they'll finish within ten more days, then onto the next tower in the line. So I think it will be a long, long time till the electrical wires are actually up. The base of the tower is exactly 52 steps from my doorstep, and only 20 steps from Parvatamma's old room, which Vinamra is about to move into!

Here, all else is OK. I am healthy and enjoying comforts like a working toilet, working water faucet (it was leaky with a bad washer since 5 months, but they finally repaired it!), working tube light (that was out for a month or two) etc. Electricity is usually off from between 12-20 hours a day.

Yep, looks like Christmas with Divya is out for now. It's just too close, with too much to do beforehand (totally emptying out, closing bank accounts, plus I'd have to go to Hyderabad again as well as a trip to Prasanthi Nilayam, of course). So for now I'm lying low. But the time is drawing close indeed, to leaving, I think so.

All for now, happy snow weather!

Love,

Daughter of Two Seekers of Truth