Unsavory Events in Ashram & Shark Dream

December 30, 1999

Shanti Ashram

Dear Parents,

Here in wonderful India, even people who are efficient with enthusiasm soon get dampened by the laziness of others! When we don’t have the authority to complete a job ourselves, we try and try to convince others to complete it. When they are too lazy and uninterested to do it, we soon get tired of asking and asking, and we give up. Thus the whole country is in a fine rut.

Remember how I wrote that there has been an Ashramite death-a-month since July? Well, we had a close one this month. (Two days more, only to this month, guess no Ashramites will die but who can say?). A strange occurrence: now, don’t get worried. World is world wherever one may be, right? Anything can happen anywhere.

The story goes like this: there is one old lady Chinna (younger) Subbamma. She is a dedicated soul who went a bit crazy with sorrow when her two teenage sons died off, some years ago. She left her husband and daughter and came here to settle, finding condolence and refuge in devotion to Omkar Swami. She acts a little strange now and then, but on the whole is an innocent creature. (Aged about 55.)

Now, as the young and strong Swamini has been away, Jnaneswari asked this Subbamma to stay in Maitry ashram, the part of the ashram far in the corner, where Vinamra’s cottage is. In the past there were some robberies and troubles in this remote corner of the ashram, as it is right by the boundary wall and on the surrounding hills are some Naxalite groups (‘People’s War’ gangs).

Anyway, Subbamma was innocently doing some work one fine afternoon, when she saw one man hopping over the wall - maybe a villager out to steal a chair or bed from the ashram. So, Subbamma (who is really a VERY courageous lady at heart) shouted, “Hey you! Get away! It is not right to jump over the wall like that!” etc. The man disappeared over the other side of the wall.

Switch to the next day. Our Subbamma was scrubbing some vessels outside, in the evening. It was starting to get dark. Suddenly, BASH! She felt something on the back of her head. What could it be? She innocently thought it was a coconut falling off a nearby tree! BASH! BASH! More blows fell on her, and she felt the back of her head and looked at her hand to see blood!

Our Subbamma started shouting, “OMKARAM! OMKARAM!” and got up to see the man with the stick, running away and hopping over the wall! A pool of blood followed her and she limped her way to the Mandir, shouting all the way. Can you believe! This violence is a new thing in Shanti Ashram!

The deep wounds required stitches. All was soaked in blood, as she walked the long way from the ashram to the hospital. They took her to her daughter’s place, I think near Kakinada. The wounds are healing OK though she has diabetes, heart and BP trouble. This all happened on 15th December.

Now to Christmas day. No program of any kind - no tree, nothing, due to no (departed) Susheela to organize anything and no orders from Jnaneswari for others to do anything. But what was this? In the afternoon an ashram workers spotted a youth laying prostrate on the steps leading to the Siva Lingam on the hill, with a water bottle in his hands. He was unconscious, red eyes, and the water bottle contained not water but something like poison.

The youth was rushed to Kakinada hospital by our handy driver. Yes, a suicide attempt on Christmas day! The youth (about 20 years old) had gulped down poison and said so to the authorities. He had not married but was wondering from ashram to ashram.

By God's Grace, he did not die in the ashram which would have brought on a sticky court case, perhaps. The depressed kid died two days later, on the 27th, in Kakinada hospital. He was found to have parents living about a couple of hours away, between Visakhapatnam and here. One can only guess the inauspicious symbolism of these two events.

Poor Jnaneswari shed tears in the members meeting held a few days ago (I didn’t go but those who went said so), when they had a moment of silence in memory of Susheela. Only when this was told to me, I remembered – ah yes, there was some foreigner named Susheela, wasn’t there?!’ Where is my universal love? Tsk, tsk! Meanwhile, poor Jnaneswari is having her soft and gentle heart strings pulled about. How sad!

Yesterday a strange dream, maybe only a restless one: there was a big beach with an ocean of dark blue and restless waters. Everyone was rushing there to swim. I was on my way when some saint (or was it Swami?) came close and said strongly, “DON’T GO THERE. There is a big shark that will swallow everyone, and a big storm approaching, that will immerse all. Stay away.” And he disappeared. I drew back and was walking away, while crowds were rushing to the waters. “Come, come!” was their enthusiastic refrain. Though I felt drawn by their pressure, I decisively answered, “No, no. I was warned not to go. I will listen to the saint’s words.” I escaped but saw from afar the shark come and swallow everyone, with a storm to boot. I was safe! But what safe? I found myself in a dark garden with some monsters of different sorts. But never mind, I was far from them and they didn’t bother me.

Happy New Millennium! How is it so far…?

Loka Samastha Sukhino Bhavantu.

Love,

Divya