Raju Garu Sick then Recovered

June 17, 1998

Shanti Ashram

Dear Parents,

Divya conveys her namaskars. As you can see, I am back at the wonderful computer in Mother ashram again! Due to an urgent message that the Shanti Ashram manager, Raju Garu, was seriously ill, we (Jnaneswari, Secretary Nageswara Rao and I) left in a rush on 13th morning. No reservations - what to do? With waiting lists miles long, Nageswara Rao ran about bribing (1/4 ticket cost to travel agent and ½ ticket cost to ticket collector on train etc) and – presto! – we had confirmed seats most of the way, begin advised to “adjust” ourselves when the other seat reservation people came during the last five hours.

Thus Swami ruined my plans to get Jnaneswari on comfortable first class travel! Four of us were to go, with the other two grumbling at having to shell out 1st class ticket cost; and now Jnaneswari and I had to travel on crowded second class, full of others who had bribed ticket collectors to let them sit in other’s reserved seats, squished together for the 30-hour journey, meanwhile, the other two devotees are forced to sit in 1st class which they never wanted (because they have the reservation on the 18th and they will come then). It is ALL HIS WILL is all we can say, isn’t it?

Anyway, we arrived to find Raju Garu past danger, resting in bed talking and joking as usual. It seems he got malaria and diarrhea and became alternately unconscious and delirious, unable to rise from the bed or eat anything for four or five days. Now, by God's Grace and Will, he is OK.

That very night, Jnaneswari sprained her foot and it became swollen and painful so she can't walk on it. Thus she is confined to her bedroom only, subjected to our various ointments and home cures, unable to see Raju Garu or even to go to Visakhapatnam where pressing duties still await her attention. Also she had been in the midst of organizational duties in Kotagiri, where the school has a new correspondent and new secretary and all need her advice and help in running the school and implicating many new plans. Anyway, already she can limp about on the foot and should be better in a few days.

Here it seems that it was unbearable hot, even more than last year, and in fact the heat wave broke records made 60 years ago or something like that. The refrain is the same everywhere, from old ladies to hardy farmer gents: “We were certain we would perish in the oven-like heat, we could hardly continue living.” Then they all give the numbers of the people who have died in Andhra Pradesh from the heat alone – several hundred people!

By Swami’s Infinite Grace however, the morning that we started off to come to Andhra the sky was overcast, and by that night it was raining and raining! Since then there has been the advent of proper monsoon rains and cooler weather (although I am still sweating!). All devotees have thanked Jnaneswari wholeheartedly for bringing cool Kotagiri weather back with her.

Loka Samastha Sukhino Bhavantu.

Love,

Divya

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Electricity & Computer Problems

June 26, 1998

Shanti Ashram

Dear Parents,

Here we have been having nice rains and it has slightly cooled off - only the electricity is mostly turned off. I have been noticing this for the last few months and only now I have learned the reason: it seems that in January we got a new lineman (his duties are to look after several villages, including Shanti Ashram, and repair any electricity line problems). This fellow is a classic drunkard, drinking all night and sleeping throughout the day (after beating his wife and kids, and threatening Ashramites living near him). Naturally not many repairs are done fast. In fact, if anyone makes him angry he cuts a line or two, and lights go off in several villages for a day or two. Office people are doing their utmost to get him transferred, but as you may know India is a land of bribes and it seems the fellow paid a large amount to the authorities to ignore any request to have him transferred. Meanwhile, others living outside in the ashram worker quarters (like our postman, driver, hospital staff etc) complain about being threatened with sticks and other complications associated with those addicted to the bottle.

Another drama here is that the computer screen has developed lines so that only half of letters are shown on screen. Imagine working like that! I have typed over 700 addresses as a blind person would, just to get the work done but as I am unable to correct onscreen, they are full of mistakes. The Swami who got us this computer admitted he brought a cheap pirate version of Windows and that might be the cause of problems.

Love,

Divya

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Attempts at Propaganda of Shanti Ashram

July 21, 1998

Dear Parents,

I am a bit late in writing this time because there was a postal strike. The postman came on 8th July then did not show his face again until the 17th.

Since returning from Kotagiri (only one month), I have been busy typing addresses for the monthly magazines ('Peace' in English and 'Shanti' in Telugu language), putting them on Mail Merge data base as well as writing them in a new and strong book. Several times I pressed some button accidentally and – POOF! – hundreds of addresses vanished in a trice. Again I had to retype, chastened into being a bit more slow and careful.

Here Swami Ramaswarupananda is whole-heartedly striving to improve this ashram, doing all sorts of good and helpful things like making trees healthier, buildings stronger and encouraging Ashramites to find fulfillment by serving the ashram with the skills they have. Side by side with this, he wants to make the ashram popular by making a lot of disciples do guru-worship, with poor unwilling and humble Jnaneswari as the target. He says the only way to make the ashram big is to have a living guru with charisma, plus a troop of ashram sanyasis preaching and initiating others. This is the way of Sivanandashram, where Swami Ramaswarupananda comes from, but I like this ashram better being silent and empty, with a few sincere souls.

He wants Jnaneswari to become a sanyasi, to begin the lofty tradition here, but she absolutely refuses, begin a quiet soul. But Swami Ramaswarupananda will not give up. He is concentrating on other devotees like yours truly, to begin the tradition of Saraswati Swamis branch of sanyasi here. But I cannot agree to don the orange robe for several reasons. One, I like to keep devotion inside and not flaunted for all to see. Second, I like to be a small and playful child and sanyasis have to swallow the bitter pill of awe-filled respect wherever they go, accepting people doing namaskar and being respectful and other horrific things. Not only that, but sanyasis have to follow certain rules and regulations and be proper in the eyes of the public. They are expected to be trained and give discourses, do pujas and preach advice. Let others who like doing all those things, be sanyasis! It is not for me. I am giving all these excuses to the Swami to escape his entreaties.

On 26th of this month there will be a big meeting in Visakhapatnam organized by – who else? – Prasad Rao! He is full of very good and useful ideas, all for propagating the ashram. Now mind you, his philosophy in life is to order others but not do anything himself - except sit in his chair and tell others what to do. He also happily admits that he would never want to do any of the grunt work himself, but his job in life is to tell others what to do. He is always shouting that I am wasting my life here and I should stay in Visakhapatnam ashram branch, become a preacher and teach others, hold yoga classes, play harmonium etc. (This is not only for me, he wants everyone, including Jnaneswari, to settle in Visakhapatnam where he stays!) Though he has an angry and frightful demure, I still think his heart is very soft - for some reason I only laugh at his ranting and raving, and do not become afraid.

Loka Samastha Sukhino Bhavantu.

Love,

Divya