Kakinada Yagna

July 3, 1995

Dear Parents,

Divya conveys her namaskars.

I came here to the city of Kakinada on 30 June, for the big yagna. It will be held until 9 July. Then I will return to Shanti Ashram (two hours away by bus) on 10 July. Meanwhile, they say that Jnaneswari left the hill station of Kotagiri on 2 July. She went to Bangalore, and we don’t know where else she’ll go until 18 July, when she’s expected back at Shanti Ashram.

All was fine at the ashram. I'm sure the Lord decided that I was not sympathizing enough with your house construction delays and woes. He wanted me to have first hand experience. First, it took them three weeks to finish the three-day job of putting red tiles on the roof of my cottage. Then, they halfway started to put a mini-verandah in front of the house. Then the workers disappeared and did not appear up to the day I left to come here.

The workers assured me that all inside work was complete and I could move inside. What did I find? The toilet seat crushed into many little pieces (due to falling cement and tiles when they were working, I guess). Two piles of cement limply lay in the bathroom floor. The tube light has lumps of cement on it, and of course it doesn’t work. The door is warped so much that only the strongest hand and longest effort can open or close it. For these reasons, I couldn’t move in but had to continue to camp in the next door house (which is stuffed with tables and luggage of the lady who lives there – she’s in Kotagiri but might return any day now).

The one in charge of all the works assured me that all the repairs of the damaged house will be speedily complete. What happened? That same guy who assured me he will take care of it, is also here at the yagna, helping Jeeyar Swami out. Nice drama! :-)

Jeeyar Swami lived in Shanti Ashram for many years helping organization to a huge extent, meanwhile doing intense sadhana like living only on a small quantity of milk and fruit (once a day) doing hours of pujas etc. Now he’s left and has come to Kakinada so he can freely organize big religious events in a central place. He’s doing, “one million Omkar Japa puja,” with daily big fire ceremonies, recitation of religious books, etc. There are 108 priests and all day long events and discourses done in a very traditional manner. Also thrice a day prasad distributions: morning daal rice, afternoon coconut rice and evening yellow rice, as much as one can eat. In addition, full meals are served to anyone coming! This certain religious sect is very particular about offering delicious food to God then partaking fully of the prasad.

Susheela has also come and we are the only white faces here. Last night’s discourse, one guest Swamini said, “The yagna and greatness of Jeeyar Swami has spread not only all over India, but to the whole world – I even saw foreigners here.” Ha! Actually there is only a local Telugu population here.

This Swami is tall, thin, with shaved head except a tuft of hair on top. He wears a big mark on his forehead, bare chest and an orange sanyasi dhoti. He has a humble, sweet and innocent nature. His face shines (he is about 40 years old).

He mainly stresses the teaching of offering all to God, knowing he gives the strength to do everything, and feeling we are only instruments that he works through. He teaches that it is necessary to do outer pujas, to train the mind to have concentration on God. A Swami for beginners on the Path, one can say.

Anyway, you know how I like fire ceremonies and chanting of the Vedas, that’s why I was drawn here even though I didn’t plan to come at first, preferring to be in quiet ashram. Past life habits pulling me!

I spend most of the day at the yagna. Daily schedule:

4 – 6 AM: Rise, bath, wash clothes & meditation

6 – 12 noon: At yagna (7-7:30 pujas & arathi; 7:30-8 prasad; 8-10 pujas & arathi; 11:30 – 12 noon prasad)

12 – 2 PM: Walk home, take bath, wash clothes and return to yagna

2 – 8:30 PM: At yagna (2-4:30 chanting of full Bhagavad Geeta; 4:30-5 puja; 5-8 discourses; 8-8:30 arathi & prasad

8:30-10 PM: Walk home, bath

10 PM – 4 AM: meditation, sleep

I am staying at the house of a Shanti Ashram devotee, the one whom I accompanied to Anandashram. In their big, modern house (much, much, much more posh then our American house) lives her daughter, son-in-law (big doctor), and their three teenage children. They watch TV, talk of worldly matters and read fashion magazines. Anyway, I am not in the house much so it doesn’t matter. I sleep on the airy roof so I can't hear the TV. The house is about ¾ mile from the yagna place - I usually walk there – seeing the same God and Divinity in the rushing cars, clanky rickshaws, scooters, wandering cows and pigs and in all the charming Indians. :-)

On the first day Jeeyar Swami called for seva volunteers, specially calling Susheela and me also. He gave us the duty of Ram Nam booklets: small booklets where one has to write “Sri Rama” in small boxes, 1008 times. People fill the booklets, put donation and put in the collection box. We have to distribute the booklets - giving pens also so they can write here - and tell them where to put the completed booklets. Once already JeerAr Swami called us to count the collections – we sat in a room and counted Rs 10,000 rupees and 10,300 completed booklets. Not much cash as the function over 10 days will cost over Rs 10,000,000. So much free food and so many paid pundits! Today about 2,000 people came I think; it will get more as the days go by – five more days now.

Jnaneswari has been writing to me. Excerpts:

As soon as you all left the ashram became empty and dull. But in ‘fullness’ the fullness of God, all is One, isn't it! That is always there, in all times and situations. But we are not experiencing it. That is maya, isn't it! To remove this illusion we do sadhana. The fruition of sadhana is Swamiji’s Grace. In that Divine Grace, all is fullness. What else do you want? All of you will be immersed in that Bliss in Anandashram. You will merge in that bliss and forget all of us here. But there is no memory and no forgetfulness - all is One only! Should I say that a fish in the ocean of Being-Awareness-Bliss is asking for more, more water? You are the embodiment of that eternal Sat-Chid-Ananda. That you are asking for what is already inside you, is surprising. Now and then, due to ignorance and maya, you may feel like that. The work of overcoming that maya is inside yourself only. When you realize yourself, all maya disappears. May you realize the Truth and be in Bliss and Peace! Be careful and eat properly. If you aren’t interested in eating, I will feel bad. I am not able to write as much as you do. But not a day goes by that I don’t remember you. Every moment you are in my memory. My prayers and thoughts are always with you. Always wishing your peace & Ananda, Jnaneswari.”

"Where is full realization? It does not come and go. It is always within us. Because we don’t realize this, we feel disturbed. May God's Grace come soon! Without you and Karunamma, it seems empty here. You are happy there and we are happy here. But it is only when we go beyond these passing joys that we experience true Bliss and Peace. Until then, we have to be satisfied with the joys we have. Ever wishing your love, Jnaneswari.”

Here it is hot and humid. Kakinada has millions of flies and mosquitoes, a few hundred it seems for each person.

Hope all is well with you. Loka Samastha Sukhino Bhavantu.

Love,

Divya