Krishnashtami’s Grand Puja & Feast

September 3, 1994

Dear Parents,

Divya conveys her namaskars. All is going on happily here – I hope that you are all fine, healthy and happy there.

We are still doing pujas daily – in the morning from 8-10 AM and in the evening 4-6 PM (on Fridays, 3-6 PM). Mostly it is just us regulars – about ten of us doing puja and five or six watching. On Fridays and Sundays, more people come and also sit for puja – then we are about 30 people total.

I come a little early and stay a little later, to help set up the places then clean up afterwards. No one asked me to, but I saw that only two others helped to clean up, so I also started helping.

Some of the supplies are stored at one end of the verandah where Jnaneswari meets people, and other things are put in the kitchen. To get to the kitchen area, there are two paths: either going around the back way, which is usually muddy; or going straight through Jnaneswari’s room! The four or five people who help with cleaning, cooking, etc., are all walking right through her room. But I felt bad to disturb her!

The other day, Jnaneswari caught me going around the back way and she said, “Hey! What are you doing?!” I said, “I didn’t want to disturb you, so I was coming around the back way.” She said, “No., no! Come through the room only!” Then I said, “What a life you lead! No privacy at all – all day long people are coming and going, coming and going through your room!” Then she said, “Who is coming and going? Where is coming and going? Who? Who?” And she had to repeat it several times before I was able to give her the right answer: “ONLY ONE! ONE only is coming and going!” Then she laughed happily, radiating joy all around, and held my chin saying, “Ah! Yes, yes!” Jnaneswari has a sweet and childlike face, and when one sees her one feels so much joy welling up inside.

Jnaneswari again came to my cottage on August 31. She came alone, laughing, and held my arm asking, “What news?” I could only say, “No moksha yet!” And as usual, she said, “There is nothing to gain, no new thing to acquire! It’s always with you, you are always THAT! All you have to do is recognize it.”

Then, she asked if I was eating alright and I answered that I was having tiffin in the morning and taking buttermilk also, “Even if I tell them that I don’t want milk, it’s not necessary, they are insisting on giving me,” I said. Then Jnaneswari became concerned and said, “You must have milk every single day without fail! You must!”

As we are not supposed to leave guests empty handed, this time I had a supply of rock-candy so I could give her a piece. She accepted it – and then I put a dot of kum-kum on her forehead! Before leaving, she smiling said, “We are so happy to have you here!” This made me feel very good! I answered, “I am so happy to be here!”

I also read her Swami Satchidananda’s letter. I had written separate letters to Swami Satchidananda and to Sriram at Anandashram, telling of my safe arrival and how much I like it here. I thought of photocopying the letter to send you – but as there are no stores and no Xerox for many miles around, I couldn’t do it. Anyway – here is his letter:

“Your loving letter of the 4th August has been received and the contents were read with joy. We had duly received your telegram also, intimating your safe arrival at Shanti Ashram after a comfortable journey.

Now you have the company of Pujya Mataji Jnaneswari and the required solitude and quietness at Shanti Ashram where you can do your sadhana without any disturbance. We are also glad that you are well looked after and Pujya Mataji is taking special care of you. Make the best of your stay there. May Beloved Papa bless you with speedy spiritual progress and the realization of your cherished goal resulting in eternal happiness.

Here things are going on as usual. Rains are a little less now. Beloved papa and Krishnabai’s Blessings be upon you and all others there.

Kindly convey our pranams to Pujya Mataji Jnaneswari.

Ever Your Self,

Swami Satchidananda

Sriram wrote:

“Dear Divya, thank you for taking all the trouble to write a letter covering your journey experiences and the warm welcome you received from Pujya Mataji Jnaneswari. Please convey Nalini amma’s and my most loving prostrations at Mataji’s holy feet and please tell her we eagerly await the day when we can receive her here again.

You have no idea with what eagerness folk here reached for your letter to drink in all that you wrote, your remembering all the folk here. It is like a member of a close-knit family going out of the nest and remembering the folk at home. Thank you Papa.

What a privilege for you to take milk every morning in Mata Jnaneswari kitchen itself. When you see Mata Jnaneswari and feel her warm love and kindness, you can have an idea what Krishnabai was like: the same warm heartedness, the same love and kindness and the same self-effacing humility.

Thank you once again for your kind letter - do be writing whenever you feel like it and you will get a letter in reply with Anandashram news.

With our kindest regards and good wishes, prostrations at the holy feet of Mata Jnaneswari.

Yours, Sriram

As you can see, the world is full of such kind and soft-hearted creatures!

Here we had a grand celebration of Krishnashtami, full of ananda! Jeeyar Swami arranged everything. First, at about 7-8 AM there was a puja by the school kids (I had come at 4:30 AM to help set up – no one else came until nearly 6 AM so I did most of it by myself!). About 100 small children – each having their own little platform with small photo of Lakshmi-Narayana, and a leaf-plate with puja necessities like kum-kum, turmeric, sandalwood paste, yellow rice grains, incense, deepam (light), tulasi water, flowers, camphor and arathi spoon, and prasad to offer sugar candy and a banana.

Jeeyar Swami asked us regulars, about eight of us, to supervise and help the eager children. They did very well, gave the offerings and repeated the pujari saying mantras of Krishna prayers & slokas. Also the pujari gave the meanings of the mantras in his clear voice, which filled the puja with devotion and meaning.

Afterwards, we distributed sweet paayasam (tapioca pudding) to all the kids, and went around refilling their cups because Jeeyar Swami insisted that they should have as much as they wanted! He told us volunteers, “Today you have the great merit of serving the real Krishna Himself, manifested in all these little forms of children! Today is indeed a very fortunate day for all of you!”

By the time we also fed all the grown-up guests, cleaned up, re-set up for our puja and took prasad ourselves, it was after 9:15 AM (JeeAr Swami said, “Some people fast on this day – but that is not right! You all must at least take the prasad. One should never refuse prasad.”)

There were many who came to do puja – about 25 people plus another 50 people watching. So I decided to help out instead of do the puja. Jeeyar Swami had also requested the regulars to make room for the guests. So, during the two-hour puja we provided kum-kum oil, etc., for those who ran out – and also I helped to wash the over 150 - cups used to distribute the prasad.

After the puja, we helped clean up – by then it was noon. Then we walked down a dirt road to “Maitri Ashram,” the cottage (a short distance away from the Mandir – still in the ashram) of the sanyasi lady “Chidananda Giri” (whom I have mentioned in my other letters, I think). She was also doing a puja – as she loves Krishna and it was also her birthday.

There was also a crowd there – the sanyasi kept turning around and saying, “No one should go without taking prasad! Then only will I be satisfied!” This was because many people had already been sitting for hours doing the other puja, and they were starting to leave early. Anyway, after the puja she called me first to get prasad – coconut pieces, banana, apple, beaten-rice with jaggery (brown sugar) and sweets. As I left, I saw that Jnaneswari was also coming to see the sanyasi.

I returned to the Mandir and helped make the toranam (mango leaves tied over the doorway) – then I went home for bath. By then I was pretty dirty and sweaty! In fact, for all the days of the puja, I get covered with yellow stains because of the turmeric and kum-kum - the saris have to be washed two or three times before the stains come out.

After 1½ hour I was back – it was 3 PM then, and a bhajans group had come. As we set up for the evening puja, we heard nice Sai bhajans! Yes, even the small school kids were singing, “Shirdi Krishna! Parthi Krishna! Sri Sathya Sai Krishna, Krishna,” I think most of Andhra Pradesh are Sai devotees! Needless to say, I was delighted to hear Swami’s Name. From 6-7 PM again the school children did puja. Due to their experience in the morning, they were experts and joyfully chanted the mantras, offered kum-kum and flowers, and did arathi, all in the right way.

Afterwards, we distributed curd rice to all of them, as much has they wanted. At one point Jeeyar Swami called to me saying, “We’ve put you to trouble, giving you so much work!” I just laughed and said, “What work? Anything done with the thought of God is puja, isn’t it?”

Afterwards, the kids went out to play (They jumped up trying to grab a moving balloon filled with sweets, meanwhile onlookers splashed moguls of water on them) and we washed cups then gave curd rice to all the visitors and ate ourselves, also!

At 8:30 PM the grown-ups puja began. This time also I did not join, as we were so busy setting up, organizing and running back and forth to get supplies.

From 8:30 – 10:30 PM everyone chanted the Bhagavad Gita, Mantra book, and Jeeyar Swami read from the Bhagavat in Sanskrit, then gave the Telugu translation. As I could follow it, it was great to hear.

Then from 10:30 – midnight, two guest pundits chanted the Vedas in traditional style, as the big idol of Krishna was given a sticky bath of curds, milk, honey, sugar and ghee. From midnight till about 3 AM, we all chanted the 108 Names of Lakshmi, 108 Names of Krishna, Vishnu Sahasra Nama and 1008 Names of Vishnu. Jeeyar Swami joked, “You want to do 1008 Names of Vishnu daily, but you just don’t have time – job, kids, etc! At least now, you are anyway going to be settled here for the night, so you can chant leisurely and with a lot of devotion, not worrying about time or duties.”

You may be aghast to hear (we were!) but Jeeyar Swami insisted on nearly FORTY (40) different foods for the final food offering to the deity! So, at 3 AM in the morning, we helped distribute the endless dishes to all the people – a big feast! Yes – all kinds of fried goods, sweets, rice (curd rice, sweet rice, cream rice, fried rice, yellow rice, etc., etc.), coconut pieces, fruits (guava, bananas, grapes) and on and on! Who felt like eating? The ladies complained, “Why waste? Don’t put more!” Meanwhile, the gents were happily eating away and counting also, “26…27…,” as we came by with more & more different dishes

There were about 150 people and by 4 AM, most had eaten and then left, except for the 40 or so people in the bhajans group, who commenced singing Sai bhajans until dawn. I helped clean up. Also, I couldn’t refuse prasad so I ate also.

I went back at dawn to have a bath & wash clothes – then came again about 8:30 AM for our puja. Surprise! I had become an old lady in one day! Maybe due to all the work the day before (running around constantly all night, during the puja), I had so much cramping in my legs that I could barely sit down on the floor and get up! I had to go down and get up slowly & painfully! I thought it was so funny! Now I understand well the pain of elderly people! Happily, it went away completely after three days.

The “Grand Final” of the whole festival was the day after, when I started back home after our puja, about 12 noon. Jnaneswari called to me and with great anxiety asked, “Did you get prasad??” I could barely speak! I was so full and overstuffed by the early, early morning feast that I was sick of food, sick of even the mention of food! I could only stammer, “Yes, I had prasad, plenty of it! I don't need any more!” Completely ignoring me, she floated into her room and arrived back with an apple, and gave it to me along with a pat on the back and a heart-winning smile.

There is an old bent lady helping with Jnaneswari’s cooking – she always has a grumpy face and is the object of playful joking by the others (Parvatamma). Then there is another old lady, who helps with cleaning & washing – she seems not to enjoy working so much (Bapanamma). The other two who help – a friendly lady (about 40 years old) who is always cheerful and smiling (Bheemavaram Lakshmi) – and the 20-year old Aruna who really runs the household – both of them have taken a real liking to me. They keep suggesting that I settle down in Shanti Ashram and join them permanently, with helping Jnaneswari! The back-side kitchen (Jnaneswari’s house area) seems to be a lot like how it was with Venkamma – always rushing about, cooking, cleaning, washing, organizing and carrying out new duties given by Jnaneswari. So, I have no wish to again get immersed in household activities, even if for a saint! I am just helping a bit, twice a day, to set up puja articles. When I go in the morning (after puja) to the kitchen area to eat, I see all the endless activity. Anyway, only about 15 more days of puja, then again it will be quiet, without work.

The weather has been continually nice here – not hot or cold. The last few days, it has rained a bit in the middle of the night, but becomes clear during the day. This is what I call proper monsoon! I received a post card from Sriram which said, “It is still raining here!” Kerala has endless rains – definitely NOT the place to be during monsoons

I was thinking how all the saints say that the Blessings of Great Ones are necessary to attain Realization. I thought, “Who is there to Bless me? Nine years in Prasanthi Nilayam, and did Swami even put His hand on my head and Bless me? And devotees like Swami Satchidananda don’t Bless – they just say, “Ask Ramdas!” Then, on September 3rd, I had a dream where Swami got out of a car and stood near me. I did His Namaskars and with both hands He tapped my head in Blessing! But what use, if I don’t experience Samadhi though that Blessings? We’ll see!

Hope all is Blissful there! Loka Samastha Sukhino Bhavantu!

Love,

Divya