March 6, 2000

Today was my first day in school being single for almost three months. It's a different feeling, like having freedom around every guy. Well, every guy who's not taken. In Science, I was not by any means cold to Tyler, but it's not like we talked or anything. I want to be friends with him, but I don't think I should start on that mission until I can think of him as just another random kid. Well, I guess I could start now. I feel like I'm over him. But I'll start just trying to be acquaintances. We'll build our friendship back eventually, I hope. He and Kaylee aren't going out. In fact, they hardly talked at all today, as far as I observed.

Okay, also, on Saturday night I talked to James on the phone and he told me that Matt likes me and that he talks about me all the time. Matt. I was a little flattered, but Matt had a girlfriend. Well, he dumped her today. In math, some girls were talking about it and one of them said, "Matt said he wanted to be single because he likes someone else, but he wouldn't say who!" Emma, who is exceedingly annoying and shallow, piped up, "Oh, I bet it's me! People have been saying he liked me forever." I rolled my eyes, but she didn't notice. I couldn't imagine such a complex soul as Matt ever connecting with an airhead like Emma.

Next block was Spanish, where Matt sits next to me. I asked him about Emma and he made a face. "No!" he said incredulously, "I said I thought she was hot, that's all." I shrugged and we started talking about other stuff. Then I faced forward again to copy some notes off the board. Steven sits right behind me and James sits next to him. I heard them whispering with Matt and I secretly tried to make out what they were saying. All I heard was Steven say, "Emily?!" Hearing my name, I spun around and looked imploring at them. James said, "Um... turn around," in the blank voice he uses when he's trying to take control of the situation. I did turn around and they shut up after that, which disappointed me because I had wanted to hear more.

We had a class meeting today, and those are always really boring. I sat right in front of Matt and Hunter in the auditorium. Mr. Bates, the gym teacher at one of the elementary schools, had come in to speak to us about his experience in Vietnam. [That seems like heavy stuff for an 8th-grade class meeting.] He was showing us slides he had taken when he was over there for the war in like, 1968 or something. It was really sad - there were all these slides of like, seven-year-old kids, dressed in rags. But most of them were smiling.

Mr. Bates said, "See? They're just like you guys. They do the same things, play the same games... only... maybe not the same games, because they don't have any equipment." Hunter laughed and said, "So what do they play? Catch the Lizard?" Everyone giggled and Matt said, "No, they play Don't Get Shot." That cracked the whole class up for a good few minutes, until Mr. Bates reminded us to focus. [War is so hilarious.]

When we had calmed down, Matt leaned over so his head was right next to mine and whispered, "Are you still upset about Tyler?" I shook my head. "No, I got over that on the weekend." He seemed interested. "How did you do that?" "Well, I just thought about it a lot, and it was like, for the best that we broke up, you know?" He nodded thoughtfully and sat back in his seat.

After the meeting, Lisa came up to me and said, "Guess who likes you!" "Who?" I pretended not to be interested. "Matt." I let my mouth hang open for a really long time to show my shock, which was actually fake. While I was waiting outside for my ride to come, Catherine told me the same thing. Hmm. I wonder...?