October 14, 1999

I just had an hour-long phone conversation with James. He predicted that Tyler and I will go out sometime in the future. He said, "You like him." "No, I don't," I said, not knowing whether or not that was true. "Well, yes you do. You just don't know it yet. And soon, he's going to realize how he feels about you and tell you. And then you'll realize, too."

I don't find that too far-fetched. Tyler and I are constantly teasing each other in a flirtatious way. I know I do like him, but I'm not sure how much. He's been writing me e-mails saying we never talk anymore (which we don't, really).

Yesterday, I was hanging out at the playground with Erin, Stacy, Shauna, Gina, Maggie, James, Jacob, Daniel, and Tyler. Erin and Stacy were all over Jacob and Maggie was upset because she likes him, too. So does half the grade. It should be a religion or something, Jacobism. The worship of Jacob. [Well, Jacobitism was already a thing and I guess it went okay, depending on whom you ask.]

Anyway, Stacy was wearing a padded bra and everyone knew it because her boobs had gone from like, barely an A cup to a B overnight. So the guys were all making fun of her. Stacy is so stupid lately. She's all into talking about how all the guys want her - which they don't - and when they make fun of her, she thinks they're flirting. At first, I felt bad for her, but now it's just really funny. [I'm sure Stacy found it hilarious.]

Zach got some people tickets to his Catholic school dance. Catherine told me that Zach hates me. Why, with him, does it always have to be either we're going out or we hate each other? Why can't we just be friends, which is what I want? He is so frustrating.

Anyway, hardly anyone in the grade is "going out" anymore. In fifth, sixth, and seventh grade, we only went out with people for the sake of going out with someone. It made us feel secure, like confident that someone liked us. But now we can feel secure without someone to cling to. I think that is a sign of maturity. [Maturity... yeah, that's probably it.]