April 16, 1999

This week, everyone has been ditching Jenna! All because of Steph. What a bitch. She asked Jenna, "How's life on welfare?" in front of everyone. Jenna and her mom just stopped living with her grandparents, and I guess they're on welfare. I hadn't known that.

Today at lunch, I was walking by Zach's table and he called out, "Is that a tank-top, Emily?" I was wearing a tank-top but I had a zip-up sweatshirt over it. I became conscious of every muscle I moved, every face I made, and everything I said.

Hunter laughed and said, "Zach, are you looking at her boobs?" Zach nodded and said, "Yeah, actually I am." "Me, too," Matt piped in. Hunter nodded. They were all scrutinizing my chest, and I felt very self-conscious. I zipped up my sweatshirt and kept walking, back to my table.

A few minutes later, Louis came running over from his table and said, "Mark wants to know if you're wearing a bra." I looked over at Mark, who was obviously oblivious. I just laughed. Of course I was wearing a bra.

Melanie called after school today. She had another story about what happened on her bus on the way home! She said, "Mark was sitting near to me, Stacy, and Gina, instead of with Louis or Tyler." Louis is on her bus, and Tyler must have been going over his house. "Louis was so mad that Mark wasn't sitting with them, so he stood up and yelled, 'Tyler had a wet dream about Emily Lindin last night! So did I! Oh, Mark, you're on the bus - oops!' Mark was about ready to kick the shit out of him." I think it's nice how Mark gets so angry and jealous when other people talk about me. ["Nice" is one way to describe his reactions... "Red flag" is another.]