January 8, 1999

Be nice or at least nonchalant to everyone.

Let people vent on you.

Never make fun of losers.

Sing really loud in church.

Never wear white tights. [I still maintain that white tights are supremely unflattering on almost everyone.]

Flirt with hot guys.

Never wear push-up bras, because people who notice if you do are perverts.

Sing in the shower.

Be really happy if a guy brings you flowers for no apparent reason other than that he is madly in love with you.

Make sure your deodorant works.

Lies almost always snowball against you.

Never convince yourself of anything stupid.

Colorful socks are good.

Never wear underwear that gives you wedgies if you are going to dance.

Never wear underwear that gives you wedgies anyway.

Don't trust guys who are full of themselves.

Keep a diary and read it when you get old. [Check!]

Save notes people write to you.

Take a lot of photos of your friends.

Make a bulletin board.

Going out with someone is confusing.

Never name your son a cross-gender name like Nancy.

Make sure you don't smell bad. [See above, "Make sure your deodorant works."]

Don't talk about yourself too much.