"Can I ask you a question?" I spoke up, causing Colby to look up from his phone

"Yeah?" He replied in a confused tone, his face scrunching up a little when I let out a deep sigh

"How do you break up with boys?" I asked, catching him off guard

"Wait- with Silas?" He asked and I nodded slowly. "Well is he a boy, or a man?" Colby asked, confusing me.

"....he has a penis, if that's what you're asking?"

Colby laughed, shaking his head

"Breaking up with a boy is a lot different than a man. Breaking up with a man is easy, they don't really care" is all he said, not making me feel any better

".......... they don't care?" I asked and he shook his head, not realizing his words were causing the anxious feeling in my chest.

"So... he's not gonna care?" I checked, making sure I heard him right, and I think that's when it clicked, because I watched his eyes go wide before shaking his head.

"What's not what I meant! What I mean is men and women are more mature than girls and boys. If you're honest, it should be fine. Why do you want to break up with Silas?" He asked, and I sighed yet again.

"I just.. um.. well.. the other night... he wanted to uh.. take it to the next level. I shot him down saying how sore I was, which is true.. I'm sore... but I'm also horny as fuck. Pregnancy when you're single is a bitch. Anyway, I uh.. I'm struggling to um... you know what, never mind. Thanks for the advice" I shot down, reaching across the table to grab more of our shared fries, which was my current pregnancy craving

Colby smirk at me, raising an eyebrow "Are you embarrassed to talk about sex with me? And to think I thought we were becoming friends" he grinned and I felt my face get warm.

"I just.. we aren't friends like that.. right? I've never had a boy friend. Wait.. I've never had a male friend. I have River, but he's like an extension off Aaliyah. I don't see him that much because he has a lot on his plate right now with watching his niece and such. I haven't seen the two of them that much.. and it's weird to look at you and say the word horny" I shrugged and he choked on his fry, laughing.

"Why?"

"Because we don't know each other like that!" I defended myself.

"Then let's get to know each other like that. Hell, the internet knows me like that" he laughed again and I gave him a weird look.

"Huh?"

"You don't- have you really never googled us? Leigh, if I had access to videos of you that go years back, I'd be binge-ing it all, getting all sorts of blackmail! You've never even looked?" He asked and I shook my head.

"The farthest I've gone is stalking your guys' Instagram's. Why, what should I know? Are you secretly some porn star?" I asked and he shook his head, chuckling.

"Our friends Kian and JC came over one day to film, and found something in my room" he shrugged, not seeming phased.

"What did they find?" I decided to ask, not thinking through if I actually wanted to know or not.

"Handcuffs" he shrugged and my eyes widened.

"Handcuffs- why?" I stopped, asking and he just stared at me, eating another french fry. "Don't you like.... Don't you get like.... Flashbacks?" I asked, and he gave me a weird look.

"Flashbacks?" He questioned and I nodded. "What do you mean?"

"From when you went to jail?" I asked and he shook his head.

"I don't really think about the time I spend in jail whilst I'm fucking a girl, sorry" he chuckled and I chewed the inside of my cheek, glancing down at the table.

"So like.. do guys really not think?" I asked and he laughed loudly, a smile taking over half his face.

"In general? Usually not" he chuckled and I frowned, watching his smile drop a little. "Why do you ask?" He asked me, leaning back against the metal chair.

"I don't think I'd like it"

"Like what?"

"Being put in handcuffs again... I just.. maybe we had different experiences" I shrugged, taking a drink of my strawberry lemonade.

"What do you mean? Like sexually? Or in general?" He asked, sounding genuinely curious.

"Both. I think.. like if I was being intimate with someone and they just whipped them out.. I don't think I'd like it. I... there are too many bad memories. Sorry for asking, I shouldn't have-" I rambled but Colby stopped me, his hand reaching out to stop me from my anxious habits.

"Would you like to talk about it? If you want.. I don't mean this in a weird way.. but you could put them on?" He asked, earning a weird look from me.

"Did you just ask me to put on your slutty handcuffs?" I asked, making sure I heard him right. Colby nodded and I shook my head.

"Boys really don't think. I really just said I wouldn't like it, and yet you offered me it?" I asked and his face got a little red.

"I didn't mean it to sound the way it did! I just thought we could change your memory" He shrugged and I yet again, gave him a strange look.

"You know what? Let's go back to me breaking up with my boyfriend" I laughed, deciding if it was best if we steered away from kink street.

Colby and I talked a little bit about it, and I explained how I was starting to see Silas as just a friend, and not a romantic interest, and how guilty it was making me feel.

I know he was falling for me fast, and hard.. and that scared me.

I was also scared when I started realizing my true feelings, not wanting Aimee to think I played him, or for Silas to think these past few months have meant nothing.

The first moment I started to realize what was happening was when I was laying in bed, extremely horny, and all I could think about was my ex-boyfriend. And after I had shamefully gotten off to the idea of him, I ended up crying about what I had done, and how wrong it was.

Here I had this stunning man who treats me so well... and all I can think about is my High School boyfriend who knocked me up.

I sometimes wonder if I made the right choice. If I'm continuing to make the right choice.. and that's why I'm so afraid to make any choice.

What if leaving Silas is the worst choice I've made yet? Or even worse.. What if staying is where I go wrong?

It's not like I can go crawl back to Gabe, he's already moved on, which still pisses me off.

I finished lunch with Colby, and we made our way back to their new house, which I was currently squatting in until my move in date, which was just around the corner.

We were actually going to be showing Sam the art commission Colby had me do, and to say I was nervous was an understatement.

Landon and Braxton have come with us to help carry it in, and hang it once they figured out where they wanted it to go.

It was still weird walking through the new house, myself getting lost on the daily, just trying to find a singular bathroom in this place.

Colby gave the boys directions to where he thought it should go, Landon and Braxton carefully leaning it against the wall.

"Hey our nails are sort of matching" Colby said out of nowhere, looking at my baby brother's hands as he rubbed them together in a way of saying the job was all done.

Colby's hands were all white with black dots in the middle, confusing everyone who looked at them, but Landon's were white with black squiggle designs across them.

"Kind of, Braxton helped me with them" Landon boasted and my heart melted.

"So I take it you told him?" I asked, Landon nodding, causing my smile to grow.

"My baby brother is all grown up! I'm sorry I didn't get to go to pride with you this year" I frowned and he shrugged.

"Next year! We can drag my niece or nephew with" he grinned and I nodded, placing my hands on my bloated stomach.

Colby disappeared at some point, taking a phone call, which meant I was currently scolding my brother for snooping.

"Stop acting like Lexi! It's rude to snoop!" I scolded, watching him pull open a drawer, surrounded by big brown boxes.

"You're telling me you live with famous people, and you've never snooped?" He asked, Braxton joining my side in rolling our eyes at my baby brother.

"I'm not a snoopy person, you know this. I mind my business, now will you get out of their drawers please?" I asked, but it was too late. He was pulling something out.

"Weird" is all he said, flipping the piece of paper over.

"Landon Roy Fox, put it back right now" I scolded and he ignored me, pissing me off.

"You're not my mother" is all he said and this kid was about to lose one of his lives.

"No I'm not, but I'll whoop your ass like one! Put it back!"

"I'd like to see you try" he laughed, grabbing something else, and I'd have had enough of his shit.

I walked over to him, smacking the side of his head as I snatched the paper, putting it back in the drawer, closing it.

"WHAT THE HELL LEIGH!" He yelled and I glared at him.

"This is not your house! Stop snooping!"

Before Landon could retaliate, Braxton held him back, reminding him that I was pregnant, then the front door opened.

Sam walked inside, causing my heart to start racing, up until it completely stopped, watching Katrina walk in behind him, holding a leash that was connected to a tiny white dog.

Kiwi.

I had only met Kiwi once, and I honestly couldn't remember if the white chew toy liked me or not. All I know is that thing would not survive back home with the Rottys.

"Hey guys" Sam said, shutting the door as Kat crouched to unhook Kiwi.

"Erm.. hi" I said timidly, not knowing where Kat and I stood on our friendship.

"What are you guys up to? Where is Colby?" He asked, Corey and Devyn's voice sounding from behind us, along with someone else I don't recognize.

I explained how he took a phone call about 15 minutes ago, Kat wandering off with her four legged shadow over towards Devyn.

"Well, do you want to hang out with us tonight?" He asked, glancing between me and the boys.

"What are you doing?" I questioned, taking a seat on their old sofa.

"Go Karts" he said and I gave him a look, pointing down towards my stomach, which was currently having aching pains towards my ribs.

I was 22 weeks pregnant, and becoming anxious about feeling my baby kick.

If I didn't have a doctor's appointment basically every week to check on the mini me, I would have been freaking out a lot more, a long time ago.

I had 2 more weeks until I needed to freak out, but I planned on trying some of the baby kicking hacks later tonight, to see if I could get anything.

Once Colby met us back in the living room, he had Landon film whilst he explained to Sam how we had a surprise for him, leading him towards the other sitting room where my painting had been left.

"Okay, you can open your eyes" he says, Sam's eyes popping open, scanning the room, and that's when he found it.

"Woah! This is cool! Where did you get it?" Sam asked Colby, walking closer towards my artwork.

"Leighton made it" Colby told him, Sam turning back to look at me.

"This is insane! I love it so much! Holy shit Leigh" Sam expressed, crouching in front of it. "I love that you can see us in the viewfinder. This is fucking sick Leighton!" Sam complimented and I smiled, thanking him.

Colby explained how he helped a little, and showed the few areas he put his brush strokes which made me smile, knowing I was right when I told him he should help me.

It took about half an hour, but the boys finally figured out where they wanted to put it, using Braxton and Colby's height to help Landon and Sam to hang the piece.

The next few weeks were kind of crazy. On August 5th, I moved into my new apartment just like we had planned, and getting used to that was kind of overwhelming. It was really strange to sleep during the first week, but it brought me a lot of comfort to see the soon to be nursery, and knowing that I was doing this for the both of us.

In the middle of August, I ended up calling it quits with Silas, explaining my reasoning, and how I didn't want to drag him along in a relationship that had started to feel platonic for me.

He was understanding, and asked that I give him some time before we try to rekindle our friendship.

Then on August 23rd, when I was 25 weeks pregnant, it finally happened. I felt the baby kick.

It was a Tuesday morning, and I had just drank cold water to take my vitamins before heading off to a curriculum meeting for my new art job, since I was going to be shadowing a teacher for a little bit, and I felt this thump.

Thump wouldn't even be the right word.

It's kind of like when your stomach rumbles, and you can feel the vibrations, it was like that, but without the noise or burning sensation. It was just this little sensation that truly felt like someone poked you from the inside out.

Feeling your baby kick for the first time is something I will never forget, and all I remember is wanting to feel it again, and again, and texting Gabriel that it had happened.

Gabe and I have been doing well, taking it day by day as we both adjust to the new changes in our lives.

He ended up dumping Piper because she was starting to hang out with Haden again, and I would be lying if I told you that didn't make me happy.

Aaliyah and River had spent quite a bit of time in my new place, helping me settle in and make it feel a little bit more like home.

I tried to spend a lot of time with Cynthia and Nova since Logan was held back until September 12th for some training.

I honestly couldn't wait for him to come home, and by the time September rolled around, I was itching to wrap my arms around him and never let go.

I was in full swing of my new job, and visiting the doctor every week with my mom, or Gabriel, praying each time that the baby was okay.

My blood pressure was slowly getting under control which took a weight off my shoulders, but we were still monitoring preeclampsia symptoms, so it still felt like I had the world weighing down on my chest.

The likeness of me getting diagnosed was pretty high, which was terrifying, but my doctor just kept saying "We're watching it, and treating it" which honestly wasn't very settling.

When asking what the treatment was for preeclampsia, she said mainly the things I was already doing, and actually giving birth to the baby..

Kat and I got over our little tiff, and were now meeting up at a thrift store with Stasia, wanting to see if we can find any more baby stuff.

"This is so cute!" Kat gasped, pulling out a pair of baby overalls.

"I wish we knew what the gender was" Stas said, sliding a few hangers over.

"If we find girl or boy things, we can still get it. Boys can wear pink"

"Boys can't wear frilly dresses as a baby or old woman will give you a death glare" Kat rolled her eyes, holding onto the overalls.

"Have you thought anymore about names?" She asked and I nodded, sifting through some baby toys.

"We have a list of ten boy and girl names" I told

"Well spill!" Stas gushed

"I'm not ready to spill! We still need to narrow it down. I have some good contenders, but I have no idea what I want for the middle name. I originally started finding names to go with my last name... but the more I talked with Gabe, I think we're going to use Bennett" I spoke kind of mindlessly, still digging through bins of baby stuff.

"Why don't you hyphen it?" Kat suggested and I shook my head.

"I personally don't like the way it sounds. Like... even with my name, Leighton Rae Fox Bennett.. it's just a mouthful" I shrugged and Kat nodded, pulling out a pastel blue onesie.

I don't know how long we sat in the baby section for, but we left with quite a bit of new baby clothes and toys.

The three of us stopped to get food on the way home, catching up on life, and how it's been moving into their new house, as well as my new apartment.

It was kind of strange knowing that I wasn't going to unlock the door, and hear the banter of the boys echoing throughout our home.

It annoyed me how attached I got. How I got used to the noise, and everything that came along with them, in just a few months.

"We should go over to your apartment!" Stas suggested, none of them having yet seen the new place I call home.

"I mean, it's still kind of a mess" I murmured, not wanting them to be surprised when they open the front door, and see the chaos that is moving.

"It's been a month, how is there a mess?" Kat laughed and I frowned, feeling slightly insecure about my current state of living.

"I moved in a month ago, and some of my stuff doesn't have a home yet. I've been busy getting used to this new job, not to mention unpacking whilst pregnant is a bitch. Aaliyah has been a huge help, along with my family. I was just saying, it's not like sparkling clean or anything"

"Is there anything you need?" Stas asked and I was confused at what she was asking, until she explained that she meant if there was anything we could get whilst we were out, that would make my life easier.

"I uh.. I mean. Yeah. But we don't have to do that right now"

"Well, what do you need?" Kat asked, handing me the end of her french fries, making me smile.

That was one of the perks of being pregnant. Everyone just kept handing me the food they didn't want to finish, and who was I to complain?

"Um, I need hampers. I at some point need to buy nursery stuff, but I have no clue what I would like to do. Gabriel has already started his nursery, and I feel like I'm slacking"

"Don't you get nesting or whatever?" Stas asked and I nodded.

"It's common, but it's not like... you hit 20 weeks and now you're nesting. Like, it can kinda just hit whenever" I tried to explain, dipping my french fry in the makeshift dip in front of me.

"Have you felt the baby move anymore?" Stasia asked and I nodded, a smile taking over my face.

"It's been so fun to document this pregnancy! When it happened, I texted Gabe and my mom, and then I immediately went and wrote about it in a journal entry! I love feeling my little one move!" I placed my hands on my stomach, rubbing small circles over the areas that were sore.

"What is something you hate about pregnancy?" She asked, Kat mindlessly scrolling on her phone.

"How sore my boobs are! They fucking hurt man. If you get sore boobs on your period, imagine that, but way worse. Like squeezing them hurts! It's apparently from your body getting ready or breastfeed or something, but god it sucks. I have to buy a bra size larger than my normal one, just so they don't press against the sore muscles''

It felt nice to sit down and talk about life with the girls. It was nice not to have a bunch of life questions thrown at me, or people worrying I'm going to faint any second.

Stas ended up asking me a bunch of pregnancy related questions, and Katrina kept throwing out baby name ideas.

Katrina somehow convinced me, and my sore feet, to walk through Target and Home Goods to help me find frames and a few hampers for my new place.

I'm starting to hit that stage in pregnancy where my feet are getting swollen and sore, and every time I come home, I freak out that it's preeclampsia symptoms, and not just normal pregnancy swelling.

The girls and I were standing in my apartment, figuring out where I was going to put all of my family photos, and the gallery wall, when Stas spoke up, her voice taking over the silence of the room.