This is my third time rewriting this chapter smh

So many of Leighton's family and friends were surrounding us, that Kat, Sam and I were all clinging next to each other, feeling extremely out of place as we waited for Leighton to arrive at her surprise party.

Sam glanced around at her family members. "To be honest, it kind of feels weird yet nice to be surrounded by all these people" Sam said quietly and I nodded.

"Isn't it weird to be sitting around someone else's family" I chuckled, noticing Sam was also scoping out our surroundings.

"Well we only see our families like twice a year, and it's never these big get-togethers. It's weird to hear such strong Italian accents though" He chuckled, and I nodded, agreeing.

Sam and I sat on some folding chairs, talking to Leighton's relatives every once and a while before it was finally announced that Leighton had gotten here, so we all got really quiet. Sam and I grabbed our party horns, blowing them when the doors opened. Leightons' eyes widened and a huge smile took over her face in shock. "Oh my god" She held her hand to her chest and I was starstruck by her.

She looked stunning.

a/n: her bump isn't this big yet

She had on a skintight white dress with a tan shirt tucked above her bump. White sandals on her feet. Her hair was draped down her back, and she had on some light makeup, letting her green eyes steal the show. I noticed she had some dangle earrings in, a couple rings on her fingers and a necklace resting above her top. I found myself tracing her tattoos with my eyes, taking in the pretty sleeve she had down her arm.

I had planned to get the start of one myself when we had gotten home, so I couldn't help but admire hers.

Leighton greeted her family and the second she was in ear shot, Kat yelled out "Happy Birthday!", hugging her and Leighton's eyes widened.

"Oh my god! What are you guys doing here?! You're supposed to still be in Hawaii!" She shouted, pointing her finger at Sam who had a smile on his face.

"We couldn't miss your birthday! It's your first birthday with us! We got to give you the Sam and Colby special at some point!" Sam told her and Leighton raised her eyebrow.

"If I'm doing a threesome, I think I would rather it be with a girl" She said out of nowhere and Sam and I's eyes widened, our mouths parting in surprise.

"Hold on, no one said-" Sam started to explain but got cut off by Kat saying "Good thing I'm here!" Making Sam and I turn to look at her with a shocked expression.

"I'd totally have a threesome with Kat" Leighton laughed and I choked on my own saliva, coughing as Sam spoke up.

"Hold on, what the fuck?!" He laughed and Leighton snickered "Going to steal your girl Golbach!" She teased before turning towards Kat. "Have you ever kissed a girl?" Leighton asked and Kat shook her head.

"Have you?" Kat asked back and I found myself looking around at all her family members mingling, ignoring all of us who were huddled in a corner.

What was with Leighton and having inappropriate conversations in family settings?

Leighton shrugged with a small smirk and I swear I could feel things below listening in on the conversation causing me to shift a little bit.

I tried to find some old lady or something in the room to calm myself down, but for some reason it appeared that all of the grandmothers had disappeared, causing me to internally groan and try to tune out the conversation.

"You've kissed a girl!?" Kat asked in utter shock.

"And I liked it" Leighton said in a sing-song tone, making Katrina laugh.

I was trying my best to stay quiet and pretend this conversation wasn't happening so I didn't get a hard on in front of all her friends and family, but this was complete torture.

"If you ever wanted to try, I'd be down. Totally platonic. You're with Sam, I'm with Silas" Leighton reassured, and I had a lot of questions.

What was happening?

"When did you first kiss a girl? Wait, how many times have you kissed a girl?" I asked, trying to get out of my state of shock.

I figured that if I can't ignore the conversation, I need to at least accept it.

Annoyingly, Sam somehow had escaped this conversation and was no longer standing next to me. I have honestly never felt such envy towards a person as I did in this very moment.

"Um, before I dated Gabriel, and a couple times at High School parties and stuff" She answered, which only led to more questions.

"Damn, you've been around the lesbian block!" Kat laughed and Leighton shrugged. "I prefer males, but I don't mind a good female now and then. It's fun to make other people feel good"

"So wait, are you like Bi or something?" Kat asked and Leighton pursed her lips, glancing over towards me who was standing here awkwardly.

I honestly felt like I was intruding on a very personal conversation between two people that I had no right to be overhearing, but neither of them told me to leave, and I had nowhere else to go.

"Um, I'm not sure. I've only ever dated boys. I've fooled around with girls. I think I like that the most. I can appreciate the feminine form, but I definitely like true intimacy with males" Leigh told Kat who nodded. "It honestly was back in my High School days. I was a little bit reckless back then, but that's a story for a different day. Gabe knew about it, and we talked about it. It's a whole thing, but yea. I was joking just to see what Sam's reaction was, but if you ever wanted to, I'd be down" She glanced around the room and turned back to us "Okay I don't know when Sam slipped away, but I need to go say hello to my family. Thank you for coming! I'll be back as soon as I can!" Leighton smiled and walked away and I turned over to Kat who was speechless.

"Did she just offer to fuck me?" Kat asked and I tried to hold back a laugh.

"Platonically" I reminded and Kat glared. It was silent for a moment and I gasped causing Kat to jump. "You're thinking about it aren't you?!" I accused and Kat's eyes got big and her cheeks flushed a little bit.

"Is that bad?" She asked me, making my jaw drop.

"You're dating my best friend! You can't also fuck our roommate!" I lecture and Kat smirked at me.

"When I fuck her before you do" She snickered and I narrowed my eyes at her.

"I don't want to fuck her" I told her, holding my ground and Kat shrugged.

"If I swung that way, I'd totally be down to fuck her" Kat admitted making my eyes widen in surprise.

Before I could answer, Sam came back and gave us a weird look. "What's going on? I had to pee" He asked and I smirked, turning towards Kat, whose cheeks were still flushed.

"Yeah Kat, what's going on?" I mocked and if looks could kill, I'd be ash on this floor right now.

"Would you be mad if I kissed Leighton?" She asked Sam and my eyes widened yet again, surprised she was bold enough to ask. Sam's eyes got huge as well, and his eyebrows raised in surprise and I watched Kat slink back into herself.

"Why do you want to do that?" he asked and I felt like I was invading a personal conversation, so I slipped away from them and wandered over towards the food table. I wasn't surprised at all when I caught Leighton grabbing some sort of breaded ball.

"What is that?" I asked, making her jump.

"Oh shit!" She gasped, grabbing the ball out of some sort of mash potato concoction. "This is Arancini"

"It's what?" I asked again, making her laugh.

"It's Arancini" She spoke slower. "It's kind of like a mozzarella stick, but it's like cheese, rice, meat sauce, garlic and stuff breaded. Don't let my Nonno know that I called it a mozzarella stick" She laughed. "They're really good! Try one" She handed me one of the breaded balls and I inspected it, feeling kind of nervous.

"Meat sauce?" I questioned, feeling skeptical of this poison ball she called food.

"Just try it! You don't have to like it. I won't be offended" She reassured me, and I took a bite, making a face as I slowly chewed it.

"You hate it!" She laughed and I shook my head.

"I don't hate it. It's weird for sure" I chuckled and she smiled, shaking her head.

"My Nonno loved these" She said, popping one in her mouth.

"Your what?"

"My grandfather. I told you about him when I did your makeup" She reminded me and I nodded, kind of remembering it.

We all mingled, and it was honestly kind of fun to watch Leighton interact with her family.

When I first laid eyes on Leighton the day she came for our roommate interview, there was a lot of things I expected from her, but none of them seemed to be true.

I would have never guessed that she was extremely family oriented. I would have never assumed that she was a dog person, and that she grew up with rottweilers. I honestly would've pinned her as a cat person, which is comical when I think about it now.

One of Leighton's cousins had a baby, and it was honestly quite cute watching Leighton interact with the 10 month old, even if I had to listen to Katrina gush about it as well, and comment on how excited she was for Leigh to have a baby, which after about an hour got annoying to hear about.

I was still conflicted on this whole baby thing, and the only things I could come to terms with, were being there if she needed me. But the idea of the actual baby felt so surreal. I understood it was happening. Hell, I've watched her stomach grow over the past couple months, even if I wasn't aware of it.

It wasn't that I couldn't wrap my head around the concept, but more so the idea of myself being around a baby.

I wasn't the best with kids, and they honestly made me extremely nervous. If it was up to me, that baby would stay in Leighton's stomach forever, but I think if I told her that she'd punch me in the face.

When it came time to sing happy birthday to Leighton, Cynthia had ended up getting Logan on Facetime and I felt so bad for Leighton as I not only watched the big smile show up on her face, but the tears fell as well. I knew it crushed her to not have her brother here, even if she wouldn't admit it.

I knew Leighton was overwhelmingly grateful that her brother was able to join us in singing happy birthday to her, but it didn't take away the deafening silence of everyone knowing it wasn't the same as him actually being here.

We filmed her blowing out her candles, her aunt having given her trick candles and we all made fun of her when she couldn't get them to go out. I could see she was getting slightly frustrated, but she finally got them all to go out and we all cheered for her.

I posted the video to my close friend's story and before I knew it, I had a cupcake shoved in my face.

"What the hell!" I gasped, frosting dropping to my feet.

"THAT'S FOR BEING IN ON THE CANDLES YOU BITCH!" Leighton laughed and I saw her shove her finger in my face, feeling her wipe some of the frosting off and eat it making me mentally groan at the fucked up visuals in my head.

"Sam and I had to make this birthday memorable somehow!" I defended, quickly realizing I had now thrown Sam under the bus as Leighton quickly turned around to eye him.

"A cupcake is coming your way Golbach! I'd sleep with one eye open!" Leigh threatened.

When she opened her presents I got kind of bored if I was being honest. I wasn't used to sitting through family birthday parties. We normally threw raggers for birthdays, especially ones like their twenty-first so I felt out of place.

I had talked to some of her family members, but I mainly stuck to Sam's side whilst we watched Aaliyah and River interact with Leighton and her family like she's known them for decades.

~

"Draw two motherfucker!" Melissa shouted as I dug through the plastic bag in the kitchen, grabbing my surprise for Leighton.

"I DID! IT'S YOUR TURN!" Leighton shouted back making a couple of us laugh, and Captains head perked up.

I quickly walked to my guest room, Dakota hot on my heels, being the nosy puppy she was.

I sorted out the present, and made sure to keep the surprise out of the puppies' reach, calling Leighton into my bedroom.

"What do you need?" She asked as she walked in and I held my hands behind my back. "What do you have?"

"Happy birthday!" I told her, holding out a boxed cupcake and gift bag.

Leighton laughed when she watched Dakota shove her nose at the bag before asking "What's that?"

"It's a pink champagne cupcake from Betty! I made sure the alcohol was cooked off. It's completely safe to eat when pregnant. It's a pink champagne cupcake with like vanilla buttercream or something" I chuckled, glancing down at the fancy cupcake. "You said you wished you could've had alcohol on your birthday and I felt bad that you were missing out on the twenty-first birthday experience. So this was the closest I could get" I shrugged and I saw a tear fall down her face.

Had I fucked up? Did she hate it?

Before I could register what was happening, she wrapped her arms around my waist and hugged me. My own arms were held outwards, holding the boxed cupcake and gift bag as she mumbled into my chest, "Thank you"

When she pulled away, she wiped at her face, looking down at the fancy cupcake.

"You didn't have to!" She frowned, but I could see a smile tugging at the corner of her lips making me smirk. "This is really sweet. Sorry for crying. Hormones are a roller-coaster" She giggled and grabbed the cupcake box, opening it to inspect the fancy frosting.

"You're forgetting about the gift" I chuckled and she gasped. "There's more?!"

I handed her the dark green gift bag and she took out some of the tissue paper, pulling out a ring box.

"Are you proposing?" She joked and I rolled my eyes, shaking my head as I waited for her to open it.

She flipped the gray ring box open and a smile found it's way upon her lips

"What's this?" She asked in a quiet voice, pulling it out of the box.

"It's a ring for anxiety. I noticed when you're anxious you fiddle with your rings, so I thought this could help. It spins when you fidget, instead of sliding them up and down. It's a little bit more subtle" I explained, and more tears fell down her face as she slipped the ring on.

"Colby" She whined. "You didn't have to do this" Leigh pouted, twisting the ring on her finger. Completely immersed by the new piece of jewelry.

"It's nothing. Happy Birthday Leigh"

Seeing Aaliyah, River and my siblings when I walked out of the bathroom truly made it one of the best birthdays in a long time. The cherry on top would've been if Logan popped out from one of the closets, wrapping me up in his warm hug, but sadly he was still preparing to go help our country.

My parents had called me that morning to wish me a happy birthday, and to have a good day. We made plans to have lunch together when I got home. It crushed me quite a bit to see how remorseful my mother was, that she couldn't be here today.

Having a surprise birthday dinner with most of my favorite people felt like a fever dream. It felt even more like a fever dream when Aaliyah and Colby walked into the restaurant with Sam and Kat.

I often caught myself taking moments to just feel grateful for everyone surrounding me right now.

Oddly enough I had never felt more secure just looking around and seeing so many people that loved me even after they saw all my sins surface. It was a good reminder that I could do this. That I could climb out of rock bottom, and find a way to make it back to the top.

When the night started winding down and everyone went off the bed, I stood in the bathroom mirror, wiping off my makeup and watching my imperfections come to light.

I tried not to focus on the disaster that was my face as I slipped into some joggers and a baggy band tee and looked at myself again, and all I could see was a mess.

I was a complete and utter disaster.

My hair was in a wild woman bun, my shirt hung to my thighs and my sweatpants cuffed loosely at my ankles. My face littered in acne, dark spots under my eyes and my lips were chapped.

I always expected my twenty-first birthday to go differently.

I expected to get drunk, party, hang out with my friends, have drunk sex with my boyfriend and wake up with the worst hangover imaginable.

I knew getting pregnant would change my life forever, but I didn't expect so much to change at once. I felt like my life did a complete 180, and I was expected to still be stable on my feet.

Everything I thought I would be doing right now, felt unfathomable now.

I would never be able to party, or just get up and hang out with friends. I would never be able to go out on date nights, or decide to spontaneously sleepover somewhere. I couldn't just hop on a plane and visit my family, or drive to my favorite art store. I can't go to college, and live the college girl life. I can't make the mistakes you're supposed to make a twenty, or go to the college parties like the movies talk about. I can't work different jobs, and live "recklessly". I now have someone depending on me to be an adult. To be their protector. their safe place. Their home. I was now attached to someone forever. I would never have my freedom, or space, or alone time. I was going to be needed by this baby for the rest of my life, all of the time and the thought of that made my chest tighten, my breathing get harder and my head start to feel dizzy.

There was a faint knock on the door, and I opened it to see Lexi standing there holding face wash.

"Can I wash my face?" She asked and I nodded.