I walked out of Sam and Colby's house, wiping my eyes and taking a deep breath.

Was this what I had to look forward to for the rest of my pregnancy?

I was still wiping my eyes when I walked past Kat's car, our eyes meeting. She quickly got out of the car, making her way over to me.

"Oh my god! Did I make you cry or did they make you cry? I'm so sorry! I was just teasing!" She quickly explained, a frown finding its way on her pretty face.

I looked at Kat's features more, and started to cry harder.

She was really pretty!

No wonder my boyfriend left me! People like her exist!

"I'm sorry. You did nothing wrong, I've got to go" I spoke quickly, walking past her and trying to stop my eyes from watering.

I silently looked up towards the sunny California sky, sighing as I thought

Please stop messing with mommy's emotions

"Wait!" Kat ran after me, her heels clicking on the cement driveway as I opened my car door.

I looked up at her, waiting to get into my car.

"Did they say something? She questioned and I heard the front door open and close, walking closer to us.

Now was not the time for pregnancy hormones to kick in!

"No" I squeaked out, trying to swallow the lump in my throat as I stared at her pretty face.

"Then what's wrong? How can I help? I didn't mean to upset you I swear! I know you were just asking if I visited the house frequently" I could hear the desperation in her voice, thinking she had actually hurt me.

I sighed, wanting her to drop it since I didn't want to explain why I was crying.

I could only tell her so many times that she didn't do anything wrong!

"I know. I promise I'm fine! Hope you have a good date night" I gave her a weak smile, flashbacks of me and my ex having date nights played through my head, my eyes watering up again.

"Hey, what's up?" Sam asked, glancing between us.

"She's crying" Kat frowned, myself rolling my eyes.

Here we go.

"What? Why?"

"I don't know," Kat pouted, staring at me.

God I didn't need your sympathy right now!

I felt the tears fall down my face, wiping them away as quickly as I could.

C'mon on child! Not now! I whined.

"I swear I'm okay! You guys didn't do anything! I don't know why I'm crying!" Liar "Go have a fun date night! I need to meet up with my friend" I gave them a small smile, sniffling a little bit.

When I arrived at River and Aaliyah's apartment, I collapsed on their couch, sobbing. It wasn't long before I heard the front door open and heels clicking on the tiled floor, mentally groaning.

Can't a pregnant woman cry in peace?

"Woah! What happened!" Aaliyah spoke loudly, quickly walking over to me.

"Nothing! This child is fucking with my emotions! I started crying in front of the guy's girlfriend for no reason, like a fool!" I whined, wiping my eyes.

"What did she say?"

"Well she teased me, but not in a mean way. Like the same way you do or like when you say that's what she said jokes to me, and then my eyes started watering because she was quote unquote picking on me! Like she came over to pick up Sam, the blonde haired one, to get stuff for their date night, but she was accidently early. So we accidentally met or whatever, and then as we were leaving she was checking up on me, because she saw me crying and I noticed how sweet and pretty she was! And starting like full on sobbing, like hella thick tears hit my cheeks! I CRIED FOR NO REASON IN FRONT OF THEM and had them all concerned! It was so embarrassing! Sam even came out to meet up with Katrina, his girlfriend, and was like Yo you good? LIKE NO I'M NOT GOOD! DO YOU SEE YOUR GIRLFRIEND! I CAN'T COMPETE WITH THAT!"

"Bestie are you bi?" Aaliyah laughed, glancing down towards my nonexistent bump. "Why didn't you just tell them you're pregnant?"

"I don't want them to know! I don't want them to say no to my application because I'm pregnant! I really need some place to live, and your couch isn't gonna cut it when I hit the 2nd trimester. Speaking of, we need to make a doctor's appointment, and grab more of my stuff from Gabe's, AND I still need to tell him I'm pregnant. He went to Chases for the weekend after we broke up" I sighed, draining, telling my ex I'm pregnant with his baby.

"Leigh, I highly doubt they'd care"

"They're party people Aaliyah, I highly doubt they want a pregnant person crashing their vibe. Plus I'm hoping to save up and be out of there soon"

"Do they know that? How long are they expecting you to live with them? I'm sure they aren't expecting you to leave in a couple months, and then have to do this process all over again"

"Which is why I don't want to tell them"

"But-"

"Aaliyah, please just support me. I need to call our local hospital and schedule an OBGYN appointment. You're coming right?" I asked, using my best puppy dog eyes.

"Why don't you see if Gabe wants to come? Or your mom? Babe, I have work" She laughed, turning to walk back towards her kitchen.

I called the hospital, setting up an appointment for next Thursday, a week from tomorrow, before calling Gabe's number.

I put it on speaker, eyeing Aaliyah as it rang.

We held eye contact up until I heard his voice.

"Hello?"

"Hey Gabe-"

"Leighton, what do you want?" He sighed, sounding irritated.

"Can we meet up and talk? I have some important want to tell you"

"I have work Leighton, can you just tell me now?"

"I want to tell you in person?"

"Facetime?" He suggested and I sighed, compromising.

I waited for it to sync before I saw his face pop up on the screen.

I sighed, noting how much I missed him. I mean, after all he is half of my baby's genes.

"Spit it out please, I need to get to work. You're still moving out of the apartment right?"

I nodded. "Aaliyah and I have one more trip to make, and then I'm done"

Gabe nodded, eyeing me. "What do you need?"

"I'm pregnant. Now before you freak out! I found out a couple days ago, I made a doctor's appointment which is partly why I'm calling, to see if you want to come. I plan on keeping the baby, so do what you'd like with that info. I'm hoping you're willing to help me out since they are your child after all" I paused, staring at his shocked expression.

"You're pregnant? How the fuck did that happen! I mean, I know how it happened, but you're on birth control?"

"It's not 100% guaranteed protection" I reminded him, not sure how to take his reaction.

"We literally just broke up last week!" Gabe groused and I narrowed my eyes at him.

"I know! I'm so sorry, I didn't plan for this to happen!" I snapped. "I don't want to get back together either. We really weren't in a good place" I trailed off, thinking about the past 2 months and how stressful they were.

"Leigh, are you okay?" He asked softly, concern written all over his features.

"I'm hanging in there. The OBGYN appointment is Thursday at 3:15pm at the hospital closest to Aaliyah's apartment, I can text you the address if you want to come"

"Why didn't you tell me when you found out?" Gabe asked, his facial features relaxing.

"We weren't exactly speaking. We were both pretty upset, even though it was mutual. It still hurts to look at you, but hey, I'll do whatever I have to do for this kid"

"What do you mean it hurts to look at me?" Gabe laughed and I frowned. "Breakups suck! I have to look at your stupid face and know I don't get to kiss you before bed or hug you whenever I want. You're not mine anymore"

"I get that. They do suck, but we're still friends right? It'll take some time, but it's us against the world as always whether we're friends or loves" Gabe grinned and I rolled my eyes, smiling. "Also I'd love to come, Leighton. I'll try and make sure I can be there. Do you have a backup person in case I can't due to work?"

"I asked Aaliyah, but she said the same thing" I pouted, glancing over at her, as she gave me a sympathetic expression. "I don't want to tell my mom yet. She's already trying to get me to come home after finding out about our break up"

"I'll try my best, can we talk about this later? I really have to get to work" He sighed, and I nodded.

We said our goodbyes and as soon as it hung up, I let the tears run down my cheeks, Aaliyah coming over to wrap me in a hug.

We sat on the couch for a while, watching Hell's Kitchen when an idea came to mind.

"Is it a bad idea to journal this pregnancy?" I asked her, biting my lip.

She hummed in response, looking over at me.

"Like if I kept a pregnancy diary for the baby when they're older"

"That could be cool! Let's look online"

Aaliyah and I spent the next hour looking at different pregnancy books, but none of them were really what I wanted.

"Can we go to Target and look at their journals? Maybe I can make one?" I questioned, trying to think about exactly what I wanted, so I knew what I was looking for at Target.

Aaliyah nodded, getting up to fetch her purse. "What do you want for dinner? It's my night to cook" She asked, slipping on her shoes.

"Can I eat Potstickers now that I'm pregnant?"

"Google it"

"Google said yes, just in moderation like anything else"

"Okay, so what do you want to have with them?"

I shrugged, saying we'll look when we get there.

~

Aaliyah grabbed a basket and I snickered, already knowing how this was going to go.

She claimed if she got a basket she'd buy less stuff, which in reality meant we had to carry more in our arms.

"You're gonna regret not grabbing a cart"

"Shut up! We are only here for a few things!" Aaliyah defended.

"That's what you say every time!" I cackled, a guilty expression covering Aaliyah's face.

"Leigh, let's look at maternity clothes!"

"Aaliyah, we have a long time before I need those!"

"Let's at least look at the clearance rack!" She pulled me over there and I sighed, not looking forward to needing to buy maternity pants.

We ended up putting two dresses into the basket, praying they would fit at some point since they seemed to be a good price. One was blue and floral, going to mid thigh and the other was a long maxi dress that was all black with a cute lace design on the chest.

"Aaliyah we came for a journal and dinner!" I laughed, pointing to the basket as I made a point about how we always need a cart.

"I'm done!" She reassured, holding her hands up in defense.

"Mhm sure" I giggled, heading towards the journals. I looked over my options, trying to figure out what I even wanted for a cover.

Did I want a plain one? A fancy one? A colorful one? I wish I knew the gender, so I could figure out how classy or pretty I wanted it to be.

I ended up picking out an all white journal, so I could paint on it, and customize it to really be my own.

I found Aaliyah accumulating more crap we didn't need making me shake my head. "Girl, where are we putting stuff for dinner?" I laughed as I approached her.

"We got arms"

"Bitch, it's gonna be cold! I told you we needed a cart! You get to carry your containers and soap dispenser" I rolled my eyes, dragging her away from the kitchen section of the store.

We picked out Potstickers, rolls and some sort of Asian noodles that Aaliyah said looked good. The box didn't look good to me, but I was all for trying new foods.

We checked out, and headed home.

I was setting Aaliyah's crap on the limited counter space, which meant a lot of it ended up on the floor, when I heard my phone ring. I let it go to voicemail since I was busy, but Aaliyah wasn't having it when it rang for the 3rd time. "For the love of God answer your phone"

I fished for my phone out of my bag, noticing I had 2 missed FaceTime's.

missed called from Gabe

I clicked call back, propping the phone up on the counter so I could continue to help Aaliyah unload all her stupid organization stuff for her makeup desk.

Gabe answered the call, "Finally" he laughed. I rolled my eyes and reached for the Potstickers, thinking about how good they sounded.

"Leighton!" Aaliyah scolded, making me confused. "What?"

"When did you add KitKats to the cart?!" Aaliyah pulled out the red bag and I snatched them from her hand. "When you added the stupid soap dispenser. We both got things we wanted but didn't need"

"Fair enough"

"It sounded good! Baby gets what baby wants!" I declared, tearing open the bag of mini KitKat's.

"Is that the excuse for the next 9 months?" Aaliyah asked. "The baby barely has a life right now, more like Leighton gets what Leighton wants" Aaliyah accused and I glared at her.

"Leighton, are you good? I thought you didn't like KitKats" Gabe raised an eyebrow at me.

"They sounded good!" I yelled in a defensive manner, digging through all the cupboards to try and find a pan to cook dinner in. "When is River getting here?" I asked, carefully placing the food into the pan, getting annoyed when they would fall over. "This is a load of fooey" I groused, trying to pick them back up.

"He's actually staying at his place" Aaliyah announced, surprising me.

"He has a place? I thought you moved in together?"

"He doesn't live here, he just spends a lot of time here" Aaliyah justified and I rolled my eyes.

"Sounds like someone is afraid of commitment" I teased and Aaliyah glared at me.

"Hey gossip girls, remember me? Down here?" Gabe spoke in annoyance and I rolled my eyes, grabbing my phone.

Oops, forgot he was here...

"What are your living plans now that you're moved out?" Gabe asked and I sighed, not really wanting to talk about it.

"Leighton applied to be someone's roommate and had an interview with them today" Aaliyah spilled and I threw an empty grocery bag at her head. "Aaliyah!"

Aaliyah waved me off, snatching my IPhone out of my hand.

"How did that go? I thought you wanted to live by yourself?" I heard Gabe ask and before I could reply, Aaliyah was doing it for me.

"Leigh left crying" Aaliyah told him and I swear I was going to strangle her.

"Why did she leave crying?" Gabe asked and I didn't even bother trying to get my phone back. I just popped another KitKat into my mouth and tried to pretend this wasn't happening.

"Pregnancy stuff I guess. I don't know. She's nervous to live with a bunch of guys though" Aaliyah told him and I glared at her.

Why the fuck would she tell him that?

"A bunch of boys? Leighton, you can't live there!" Gabe argued, his face was covered in a hard, stern, expression as Aaliyah handed me my phone back.

"And why not?"

"It's a household full of boys!" Gabe argued, annoying me.

"Yeah, I know. What's the problem?"

"I don't want my pregnant girlfriend living with strange men!"

"Ex-girlfriend" Aaliyah chimed in, myself smirking as I covered the pan, setting a timer.

"Whatever! You don't even know these people!"

"And they were fine with a pregnant chick living there?" Gabe asked but it wasn't in a nice tone. He seemed snippy and it was pissing me off.

I got silent.

"Leighton?" Gabe spoke in an accusing tone and I could just hear his cocked eyebrow which was adding gasoline to my fire.

"What?" I snapped, wanting nothing more than to hang up on him right now.

"You didn't tell them, did you?" He sighed, glaring at me.

"No. No I did not"

"And why not?"

"Because it isn't their business!" I snapped, tired of being interrogated.

"I'm having your baby! It's none of your business!" Aaliyah sang, earning a glare from me.

"Leighton, if you get the fucking room, I highly doubt they're going to want to worry about a pregnant chick in their house"

"Which is why I didn't tell them"

"Leighton!"

"WHAT!?"

"You can't just not tell them! I don't want you living there. Come move back in" Gabe basically demanded and I shook my head.

"Hell no!"

"And why not?!"

"BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO LIVE WITH MY EX!"

"YOU'RE HAVING MY BABY!"

"IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!" Aaliyah sang and I rolled my eyes, ignoring her.

"YEAH! I'M HAVING IT! I GET TO CHOOSE WHERE I WANT TO LIVE! WE AREN'T MARRIED! You don't control me!" I yelled, tears starting to run down my face as my voice got quieter. I could feel the frustration cursing through my veins.

Why didn't he get it?

"Leighton-"

"No. I made up my mind. You dumped me, deal with it. I need to make dinner, bye!"

"WAIT!-"

"WHAT!?" I yelled, tears rolling down my face even faster, without my consent,

"One, it was mutual! And two, I wanted to talk about the baby.. you didn't cheat on me right? Like it's mine? I never suspected you to cheat one me... there is just a voice inside my head that is nagging at me"

What?

"EXCUSE ME!? I NEVER CHEATED ON YOU! WHY WOULD YOU THINK THAT?!" I screamed, Aaliyah smacking me for being loud.

"I didn't! It's just... the timing of everything..."

"WOW! GOODBYE GABE!" I screamed, clicking the end call button. I ended up sitting on the floor, sobbing, whilst Aaliyah finished making dinner.

She silently handed me a plate of Potstickers with a roll on it, which I was extremely grateful for.

I sat on the tile floor, leaned against her cupboard as I ate the Potstickers with my fingers.

"Leigh the Asian culture is insulted right now." Aaliyah smirked at me as I picked another one up with my fingers.

"It's actually the Chinese culture, and I don't care"

~

After my shower, I laid on the makeshift bed, which was just Aaliyah's sectional couch, and grabbed my new pristine journal and a cute pen, opening to a crisp page and making the very first indent, writing down April 23rd 2020, at the top. I got lost in my thoughts as the pen caressed the pages, smiling every so often at what I had written.