"We're fucked" Ezra said as he got into my car after a long useless night that we spent together with our old 'friends' more like a reunion with our exes and their new Men.

"It's more like a new boyfriend show than a wedding party" he said while wearing a seatbelt as i began to turn on the engine.

"We're so fucked" i said.

"If Lana's new boyfriend had not came late today I wouldn't have to walked behind her and her fucking new man bro" he said.

"You looked okay back them" i said as i turned my head to look at space behind my car.

"What ever" he said.

"At least I'm happy for Floyd" Ezra said.

"Yes me too" he said.

"Calm dow Ez, you'll meet another girl" was all i could say to him even though i was burning inside.

I didn't know that she had a famous boyfriend that i used to see on my tv screen, i was going to burn all the cd that had his name on it.

My car started to leave the hotel parking lot and began to make its way to Ezra's apartment. Since it was the same way to my penthouse,

"But have you ever think that you don't deserve her?" He asked me.

His words just slapped me right on the face, the feeling of guilty for what I had done to her suddenly came back after he said that words.

I cheated on her but my ego really wanted her back, it felt like my life wasn't complete without her in my life. She was like the only sun in my garden, the flowers wouldn't come out of the soil without the power of the sunlight. It couldn't distract the butterflies to come to their field because it lost its main fuel.

"Yeah i have"

"And that was the biggest mistake that I've ever made in my whole life" i said.

And I couldn't believe i could be this open with Ezra, well he wasn't the last person i trust but i couldn't remember when was the last time I talked to a person about my personal life. I used to keep it by myself cause i wasn't easily to trust a person.

"But you still get a big chance to win her heart back dud, well look at me She's married i can not do anything" he said.

But i wasn't the typical guy that like to disturb anybody when they were in a relationship I didn't want to be the scissor in their relationship.

"Real man don't play like that" i said.

"You cheated on her" he said.

"It was a long time ago" i said.

"I've changed" i said.

"But She's also changed" both of us said at the same time.

No longer after we talked about so many things my car finally stopped at Ezra's apartment lobby. Because it was already midnight which the street was pretty empty, i could push on the pedal with a high speed to got into the penthouse quicker.

"Thanks dude see you soon" he said before walking out of the car.

My thoughts were still on her, i saw her when she walked inside the venue with Ezra next to her. My heart were beating fast when Floyd got inside to asked Ezra to accompany Lana to walk behind Diana. I knew it was going to be so hard for Ezra to walk behind Diana and her new husband when he still had a feeling for her ever since they broke up a few years ago.

She walked in with a pink satin spaghetti strap dress, she was still looking so beautiful as always. My eyes sticked on her since the first step she got inside, her long brown hair was still the same and it reminded me of our old memories.

She looked so gorgeous, I couldn't take my eyes of her the whole night. She was beautiful and i knew that She had been avoiding me since she never came home until Diana's wedding.

I was so excited to greet her but her gaze wasn't the same anymore, the way she looked at me. It seemed like she was looking at her worst nightmare.

The moment when she introduced her boyfriend, Ayden freaking Irvine the famous actor that everyone had been talking about because of his freaking look. Now i felt like a piece of shit in front of her, the fire was burning in my chest every time i saw the way she was looking at him.

That guy kept his protective arm on her back all the time, good she found a real gentleman while i was there sitting alone with a big hope on my head about having her back. But the reality slapped me hard when she walked inside with a man next to her, and the worst thing was, I wasn't the man that walking next to her anymore.

I was just a guy, 'a man' didn't even match me after what I had done to her a few years ago. I was just a guy who madly in love but ended up by leaving a big scratch on her heart. I was Her first lover but also her first heartbreaker. What were i thinking to cheated on a girl like her back then, I couldn't even forgive myself for what I had done to her that effected my life so much.

My eyes were looking at her all the time and i saw a tear fell from her eyes when she looked into Diana who was dancing with her dad. I knew it reminded her of her dad, i wanted to hold her close and told her that everything was going to be just fine but who am i.

Her boyfriend was there to whipped away her tears then put his arm around her shoulder to make her feel comfortable and better. Both of them started to dance together on the dance floor with the others, i could see the way she smiled and the way her new man smiled every time he looked at her. And that time i realized that,

I don't deserve her.

I couldn't compare him with me, she looked way happier when she was with him rather than the last time she talked to me. She even told me to leave and she told me not to stay but I chose to stay and wait for her until now.

I saw her new man successfully drawing a smile on her face while i remembered the time i made her cry, i saw her eyes were sparkling when she looked at him. While she was looking at me like I was a statue or a palm tree that had no feelings and memories. But I deserved it, i knew cause i broke her heart and i realized i was too dumb to deserve her.

My car stopped right in front of the lobby, i turned of the engine before walking out of the car then throw the keys to one of the driver at the lobby. I made my way straight to my penthouse, i walked inside then walk straight to my room.

I took off my suit then throw myself onto the bed, i looked into the ceiling while picturing her look from today. She looked so classy and beautiful with those dress, those blue eyes complete with her red lips which made me dying to get her back.

But she looked happy with another man, I couldn't just walk in and ruin her happy life, and i was so sure she wasn't going to accept me back into her life. While she was having a perfect life with another man, she looked happier.

I began to open my phone as i saw so many reminders for Monday, i loved to work but i still had that time where i felt so tired and asking myself when am i going to stop? Even i still had so many years to take after my dad give the full company to me. I wasn't ready, i was only 25 it was a young age to lead that big company.

I pulled my phone from my pocket then received a message from my mom,

Mom :

Tatjana invited us to her 50th birthday, you have to come with me.

Mom :

No excuses I've talked to you dad.

Apollo Hamilton:

Okay mom.

I replied with just a simple okay, there was nothing on my phone only a few memories that i still had of Lana and i back in high school. Everyone told me to delete it and forgot but my heart wouldn't let me to do that, there was something special that couldn't be replaced by anyone.

But seeing her, she was way happier with some other guy. I didn't know what to do, but I didn't want to ended up like Ezra too. But I couldn't do anything, she said she forgave me but the fact said the other way. She had been avoiding me and she didn't even want to look at me.