Last night I could not sleep thinking about how Josh kissed me. I wanted him but; it felt wrong. I had been with his brother Cole, who just happens to be the father of my daughter. I am also so, confused. Had it been just an urge like he said?. Or had it been something more?. This is confusing me. My body wanted him so badly but, it would have made things awkward if it had gone any further.

What if he felt the same way?. He is the one that kissed me first. His hands smoothing over my half naked body then squeezing my tits; I wanted to moan with pleasure from his gentle touch; I held myself back, knowing what we are doing is wrong in so many ways. I sighed aloud; my sister looks at me with that smug grin of hers.

Shake my head and carry on eating lunch. Josh said last night that he would be over to help finish decorate Kenna's room. I had a feeling he will not come from the embarrassment of what we did. I looked at Kenna while she sits eating her lunch. She is the one I worry about; she is my main priority, the one that needs to be protected. My eyes then gaze at my sister when we hear a knock at my door. She stands with that look upon her face; it is like she knows. I keep a straight face while she answers the door.

I look over my shoulder to what is taking my sister so, long then she walks back with a huge bouquet of red roses. "You must have made a good impression on your date". I say to her. She stares at me shaking her head then hands me the card.

My eyes open wide with a surprising shock. The card is from Josh apologising for the night before. He had even written the card himself. My sister hands me the flowers I look at them they are beautiful.

"I think you made the impression". She says then laughs. I find a big vase to put them in, all twenty-four of them. The scent filled the air, they are not cheap roses, not with the scent that filled the room. Stood back to admire them; they are gorgeous. I stared at them thinking about what Josh had written on the small card.

He had apologised last night for his actions yet; he is apologising again. He does act like a gentleman sometimes. I shook my head walk to my room to change into my painting gear I had to finish Kenna's room. I start to paint again while Chanel watched Kenna for me. My mind not focusing much on what I had to do. I had my phone in my hand with Josh's number staring me in the face. I pushed the door closed then phoned him. I took a deep breath put the roller down waited for him to answer.

"Savannah". His soft voice making me weak at the knees.

"I just wanted to say thank you for the beautiful flowers. You really didn't have to do that". My voice is soft I could hear him take a deep breath.

"I had to apologise. It was ungentlemanly of me to have done what I did". He pauses. "I will see Kenna in a few days. Thank you for calling". I wanted to say something but, nothing would come out. The image of Josh's half-naked body is now on my mind I licked my lips.

"Josh, you have not got to keep apologising. I am to blame too. If I didn't kiss you back it wouldn't have gotten as far as it did". I lean up against the door waiting for his response.

"You have nothing to be sorry for, I am the one that kissed you". His soft voice is making me melt like water. "Savannah, I will see you when I come to visit Kenna". I could hear the sorrow in his voice for what he had done.

"You could still come over to help me finish Kenna's room". I waited for a few seconds for him to answer me but there is a long pause. "Josh, I will see you when you visit Kenna". My thoughts are running wild to why he never answered me.

"I will see you in a few days". We hang up. My head rested against the door while I took a deep breath then let it out fast. My eyes glanced around the room then I had tears for no reason. I packed all the paint away I just did not have the enthusiasm to carry on.

My sister is sitting on the sofa with Kenna watching cartoons. I walked to my room to run a bath to have a long soak. As I laid in the bath thinking of random things, I then had an idea that I needed a night out. I have not been out in over three years; I would need to find a babysitter. I got out of the bath dried then dressed. I stepped into the lounge stood in front of the TV folded my arms while staring at my sister. She looks at me creases her brows.

"Savannah, you are in the way". She looks down at Kenna while making a funny face, my daughter laughs.

"How about we go out this Saturday?". I asked her. She sits forward on the sofa staring at me.

"What do you mean out?". She looked confused with my words.

"You and me going out having a fun time. I need to find a babysitter". She bolts up from the sofa leaps towards me hugging me tightly.

"It is about time you had some fun". She is yelling with excitement I am laughing then she does a dance around me chanting we are going. I shook my head then walk to the kitchen to start dinner. "We could go to the club". She is still dancing around.

All I must do now is find a sitter to watch Kenna for the evening. Do I ask Josh if he is available to sit the evening with Kenna?. Dinner is ready so; I placed the plates on the table then we sit to eat. I have already phoned Josh once today; I could ask him when he is here visiting Kenna.

My daughter looks up at me with a beautiful smile. She looks so beautiful I smiled at her then make a funny face which makes her laugh. After dinner Chanel helped me clean up while Kenna played with her dolls. "Savannah, who are you going to ask to watch Kenna?". I stopped what I am doing to look at my sister she stands with one hand in her jeans pocket.

"I thought I would ask Josh". I tell her she grins.

"You are going to ask Josh knowing that he likes you. What the hell are you thinking?". She now folds her arms tapping her foot.

"Chanel, he is the only one that Kenna knows and so, what if he likes me. We couldn't get together even if we wanted to". I am now leaning up against the sink unit with my arms folded.

"Do you actually hear yourself?. Why do you think you couldn't get together?". I shake my head to look at her.

"His brother and I have a daughter together, have you forgotten that". I am a little annoyed.

"My god, Savannah. You had a child with him, it was not like you married him or you had an affair. Any way Cole walked away from his daughter; do you forget that he left you pregnant". My sister's words are swirling around in my head. Did she know Cole and my secret?. We swore to each other we would not tell anyone.

"Chanel, it's not that simple. How do think it would look if Josh and I ever got together. Whatever Josh feels for me cannot go any further. Could you imagine what people would say if they knew Kenna is Cole's daughter?". I unfold my arms placing my hands on the counter still not taking my eyes from my sister.

"You think too much. It should not make any difference if you want to be with Josh. Kenna will not be loved any differently. If anything it would be more of a stable family for her. Having Josh around is like having her own father in her life. Savannah did you forget that Josh wants to be a father to her?". I take a deep breath look over at Kenna playing with her dolls. My life feels so, bloody complicated. Too many secrets between Cole and myself.

"Chanel, let's just go out to have some fun". She nods while making her way to sit on the sofa. I have not dated anyone since Cole. To be honest I would not know where to start or what to do on a first date night it had been so long. I like my own company. I finished cleaning up the kitchen then sit for a little while in the lounge before Kenna had a bath then she went to bed.

My sister gets a bottle of wine poured up two glasses we put music on in the background while we just sit talking about what we used to get up to when we went out. I love spending time with my sister she is fun to be around, we did have our share of arguments while we grew up but, we always had each other's back. Chanel went to bed before me, I stayed sitting on the sofa finishing the bottle of wine. I got my phone in my hand looking at Josh's phone number. I wanted to remove it but, I could not because of Kenna. My eyes felt heavy so, I cleaned up the lounge then went to bed.

Laid in bed looking into the darkness of my room for some time. My eyes are even open when the sun starts to shine through the curtains. Morning had come so, quickly I had not even slept at all. I glanced over to see Kenna still sleeping. My eyes felt heavy when I went to bed but, I just could not sleep. I have work today, Kenna is going to the nursery for half the day while I work... I did get up have a shower then dressed. I stood in the kitchen preparing breakfast when Kenna sits at the table ready to eat her breakfast Chanel sits at the table too.

We had breakfast Chanel left for work I got Kenna ready for nursery. I had a busy day ahead of me I am not looking forward to it either.

Is Savannah right in being cautious about Josh???