"I don't like this," I stared through the tiny gap between the door and the door frame, my voice no louder than a breath as I whispered to Mitch who was watching over my shoulder.

"You think I do?" Mitch's voice was low but harsh, I blinked but by the time I was opening my eyes Mitch was already apologising hurriedly, "sorry Cara, I didn't mean it to come out like that."

"I know," I empathised, I turned my back on the room we'd been peering at, "I can't look anymore, it's like I don't even know him."

Nico was the one we were watching, the one lying on the bed staring despondently at the ceiling. Except it wasn't Nico who was inhabiting the handsome body on the bed. It wasn't Nico who had returned a few days ago with clouds in his eyes and a forced edge to his smile. Nico without laughter and jokes and teasing wasn't Nico at all; they were all the qualities that made me love him and without them it was disconcerting.

"Is he still just lying there?" Sawyer crept up behind us, keeping his voice hushed as well.

"Uh huh," I sighed folding my arms across my chest, "has he not said anything to either of you?" My question was mainly aimed at Mitch as they shared a room.

"Nothing," Mitch ran his hand through his dark hair in annoyance, "I've asked him over and over but every time he says he's fine, he's acting as if nothing is wrong."

"I hate it," I shook my head.

"Hey," Mitch wrapped one of his bulging arms around my shoulder comfortingly, "don't you be sad as well, I couldn't deal with that."

Automatically I leant my head into his chest and let him rub circles into my shoulder with his thumb.

"Why the long faces?" Grey asked not bothering to keep his voice down as he bounded to the top of the stairs looking very pleased with himself. We all shot him a panicked look and then eyed Nico's room as an indication, Grey's face filled with realisation. But that didn't stop him throwing open the door to Nico's room and barging straight in, he announced brightly to all of us, "guess what I've got?"

"Syphilis?" Nico suggested but his heart wasn't in the joke.

Grey gave him a hard look, "try again."

"A way to beat Cara at cards?" Mitch elbowed me gently.

"Not possible," I replied quickly.

"You're all shit guessers," Grey shook his head, then he announced with the biggest smile that was uncharacteristic of Grey, "I've got a Christmas tree!"

The surprise was evident on all of our faces, I hadn't been expecting that at all. December wasn't starting until next week so Christmas decorations hadn't even crossed my mind.

"Where is it?" Nico glanced around his messy room as if it would magically appear before his eyes.

"Downstairs," Grey rolled his eyes, "and before you ask Mitch, yes I checked with Schmitty." Mitch closed his mouth.

"Where are you going to put it?" Sawyer enquired.

"In the common room," Grey summed up as if it was obvious, "well you could at least try to act a little excited about it."

"Yay!" Nico raised a fist with the most sarcastic lack of enthusiasm I'd ever seen, "a Christmas tree."

"Come on," Grey clapped his hands, "I've got decorations as well. We can decorate it now!"

"I have chemistry homework," Nico objected weakly.

"Fuck chemistry," Grey insisted before yanking Nico out of his bed giving him no option but to come.

In the common room we found that Grey had already put up the Christmas tree, it was huge with its dark green branches nearly brushing the top of the high ceiling. Next to it were piled brand new baubles, Christmas lights and tinsel still in their packaging. As soon as I saw the tree I caught onto Grey's enthusiasm and began to grin, I'd forgotten how much I enjoyed the Christmas atmosphere.

"Jheez," Mitch blew out, "are you sure this is big enough?"

"Not really," Grey stated seriously, "I would've gone taller but this was the highest one they sold."

"It's beautiful," I grinned, I loved Christmas trees, something about their smell and the way they looked when they were all decked out was magical.

"Come on," Grey took my hand and tugged my towards the unopened boxes, "let's start!"

Sawyer was the one who put on the Christmas music and let the voices of Mariah Carey and Micheal Bublé flood through the room. With reckless abandon we loaded the tree with gold and silver tinsel, sparking white lights and baubles of every colour imaginable that weighed down the branches to the point I was worried the whole tree would collapse. I was completely at ease with the Silent Boys, Mitch wrapped tinsel around my neck and I joked with Grey that he was putting his baubles in my patch of tree. I even saw Nico crack a genuine smile and mouth along to the words of 'All I Want For Christmas'. I danced with all the boys and couldn't contain the gigantic smile carved into my cheeks. We were all in hysterics when Mitch started to pull out his dad dance moves and Sawyer attempted to bob his head along to the music, for someone as musical as him he couldn't dance to save his life.

We spent nearly three hours putting up the tree and I enjoyed every single second of it, my concern about Nico evaporated as I watched him loosen up and saw the darkness that had previously clouded his eyes shift away. Once every single decoration Grey had brought was on the tree the five of us stepped back to admire our work. A stunned silence fell over our group, no words needed to be said, the tree was gorgeous. It was crazy and disorganised with mismatching tinsel and randomly draped lights, baubles of every colour hanging from every branch but that was what made it so special. It was the most spectacular tree I'd ever laid eyes on. Not that I'd had many Christmas trees I could compare it with, but it was far better than the immaculate perfect trees put up in city centres. Our tree had a personal touch.

"Thanks," Nico whispered to no one in particular. As I was next to him I reached out and entwined our hands together letting him know I was here whenever he was ready to talk.