"It's nothing," I blurted trying to wriggle free from Mitch's grasp but his arms were locked in place as if they were made of wood, keeping me in position.

"It's not nothing Cara," Mitch insisted,

Grey's eyes were flickering between each of us quickly unable to focus on any of us for more than a second before passing on.

"There was a loud bang, it shocked me," I shrugged simply, "that's all."

"Sure," Mitch grumbled sarcastically, "that's all."

"What?" Grey's face twisted in a mixture of concern and confusion.

"She started trembling and shaking, I thought she was having some kind of fit," Sawyer explained in a low tone, I felt his thumb draw a slow circle on my skin just above my elbow.

"I'm fine," I huffed in annoyance, I hadn't wanted to tell Grey and have him treat me like a fragile doll just like all the other two would.

"Like hell you are," Mitch objected harshly. I only rolled my eyes but didn't complain as I knew I'd just be shut down.

"Cara?" Grey's eyes fixated on me now staring so deep into my depths that I needed to look away but I couldn't. I was sucked up in the murky grey swirls of his iris's.

"It just reminded me of the gunshot," I found myself saying as if he was pulling the truth literally out if my lips, "I promise I'm okay now. It just made me jump."

"Cara," Grey whispered and his whole face softened dramatically and he became a whole different person to the angry figure he'd been before.

"I'm fine," I snapped throwing my hands up with palms upwards in annoyance.

"Your always fine," Grey crouched down beside me his face full to the brim of understanding, "your mom dies and your fine, you move to a whole new state and your fine, you argue with your dad and your fine, you get threatened with a gun and almost killed and your fine. It's okay not to be fine."

I stared at him for a moment, I was half proud of myself that I'd actually pulled the whole facade off, I'd actually convinced them that in some way I was fine. The better half of me felt defeated though, they'd seen me now and there could be no taking back the damaged side of me they'd seen. I'd been careless and let my perfect mask of strength slip for a moment to reveal the broken and ruined real me underneath.

"But I am fine," I swore again, willing to do anything to keep that mask fixed firmly in place. With greater determination this time I managed to break my way out of Mitch's arms that no longer felt like the comforts of a bed but rather the confines of a jail. All their concern, their understanding was so oppressive. I didn't want anyone feeling sorry for me, pitying me. I could look after myself, just like I'd always done.

"What's the matter?" Mitch implored as I stood up trying to distance myself from the crushing weight of their concern.

"I need some air," I mumbled vaguely and headed straight out my bedroom door leaving them all still sat on my floor with our abandoned homework that I'd long forgotten about.

My march out of the dorms and onto the clean cut grass spreading out from Kings Bridge was full of pent up fury. I stormed with no care of direction or distance until I found myself amid a tight cluster of trees who's earthy scent seemed to cool me down.

I collapsed against one of their gnarled trunks and sunk into the spongy leaf coated ground. The sky was beginning to darken as afternoon shifted to night and the trees cast eery dark shadows onto the ground. I enjoyed the slightly ominous atmosphere, it filled me with a sense of peace. In Vegas I'd spent most nights wondering around in the dark getting lost before finding my way again. I found comfort in the darkness and the secrets it could hide. Being alone was a relief as well, at Kings Bridge I rarely felt like I was alone, someone was always bursting through my bedroom door or walking by my side and as much as I liked that I missed the independence I'd had, the self reliance that comforted me when I was alone. I only had to depend on myself when I lived with my mom because I was on my own the majority of the time. I liked it that way.

***

The entire park was empty, they'd shut it up hours ago but I'd remained as all the wardens had walked through shining their beaming torches, hidden among the branches of a tree until my legs had turned numb and arms stiff.

Now I had the whole park to myself, it's wide sprawling lawns were deserted and its park unnaturally silent without the screams of children. I could half hear the ghosts of their hoots and cries just like I could still see in my mind the clusters of people sat about on rugs on the grass or leisurely walking along the paths. Though I was the only one to do that now.

It was nearly one am so the street lamps had been extinguished and everywhere was veiled in a cloak of unforgiving darkness. If it hadn't been for the bright full moon I wouldn't have been able to see my hand in front of my face but the moon offered a gentle glinting light over everything. To anyone else I'm sure this would have made the park seem creepy but I basked in it. I enjoyed the tiny nag in my stomach that told me a murderer could jump out from behind any bush, it made the walk thrilling.

"You're gonna get yourself killed like that," mom had told me once when I'd wondered in at 6 am when we'd been staying in a particularly rough neighbourhood. I'd only raised an eyebrow that said 'are you serious'. If anyone was going to get themselves killed it was my mom. She was just like me with her need to seek thrills, her need to be wildly independent in the extreme. I'd inherited my slightly crazy streak from her, she played people out of thousands of dollars, lifetimes worth of savings. She was nothing if not reckless.

I enjoyed being reckless. I sought it out, I wasn't going to wait for danger to hunt me out and hit me like a brick wall, at least if I walked straight into it I could prepare myself.

Suddenly my phone began to buzz in my pocket interrupting my serene mood. I'd been so calm before, with the faint nights breeze cooling my cheeks and the peaceful quiet ringing in my ears but reality always found a way to creep back in.

Jackson was calling and I knew better than not to pick up, last time I'd not answered a call from him I'd received a bruise on my ribs that took weeks to fade.

"Hi," I answered cautiously.

"Are you still out?" He demanded not waiting to go through the pleasantries.

I thought about lying but knew there'd be no point, Jackson always knew when people were lying. It was a talent of his, he always knew.

"Yes,"

"Where are you?"

"At the park."

"Which one?"

I told him and he huffed loudly as if I was causing him so much hassle, like I was an irritating child.

"I'm coming to pick you up," he stated gruffly.

"I don't need picking up I'm fine," I insisted.

"It's one in the morning Cara, didn't you hear about that stabbing last week. I'm just trying to look out for you. Stop acting like I'm the bad guy here."

"Sorry," I mumbled feeling guilty, I shouldn't jump to conclusions. Of course Jackson was just concerned, he was my boyfriend, he loved me.

"I'm leaving now, see you in ten," he snapped bluntly as if my apology was mere smoke.

"Thank you," I whispered but he'd already hung up.

Sadly, I turned my face upwards towards the moon wanting to feel the last of it's calming presence before I was snatched away from this peaceful place.

***

I thought through everything, my overreaction to the boys concern and my uncontrollable frustration at being cooped up in Kings Bridge, my need for thrills in my life. I wasn't angry at them, of course, I never could be. I was angry at myself, my feelings that were going to ruin everything. Why couldn't I keep them in check?

I was falling for them, I knew it and as much as I'd tried to deny it for the past few weeks it had only been building. I recognised that feeling, I'd had it before. That feeling that you were on the precipice of something but you were never sure what because the cliff edge was murky and dark. The other side was safe and appealing that your head screamed for you to stay on. But your gut was insisting that you make the jump into oblivion. I'd made that jump before and landed painfully on barbed wire. That didn't mean I couldn't make it again though, I could choose the jump.

After all I'd always been a thrill seeker.