After Sawyer's piano lesson we both headed down to the Dining Hall when my stomach began to grumble embarrassingly. We chatted effortlessly about music and artists we liked;

"You should listen to some classical music," he encouraged, I felt my eyes rolling before he even finished, "what was that for?"

"Everyone knows classical is boring," I stated flipping my hands up at the obviousness of this.

"Then you have been listening to all the wrong music," Sawyer shook his head, "the good pieces aren't boring at all, they're amazing and poetic and romantic." I could've sworn I saw the tops of his cheeks tint red at the last one.

"I'll just take your word for it," I shrugged.

"No, you have to listen," Sawyer decided.

"Do I get a choice in this?" I complained.

"Nope," Sawyer grinned, "I'll give you the CD's, all you have to do is listen."

"Fine," I conceded, I was acting that I cared more than I actually did. In reality I was flattered Sawyer wanted to do this for me and that he cared enough to do it.

"I bet you'd actually like them if you stopped being so stubborn," Sawyer smirked and I aimed an elbow to his side which he grimaced at probably due to the fact I have extremely bony elbows.

At the entrance to the Dining Hall Sawyer opened the door for me and I couldn't help but smile thankfully at him as we entered side by side. My first stop was the food counter because I was starving and I immediately loaded my plate up with toast and a croissant.

"Got enough?" Sawyer asked sarcastically eyeing my loaded plate.

"I'm hungry," I countered protectively.

As I spun around in exaggerated indigence I noticed the Silent Boys table was empty but a couple of tables over was Ben sitting alone as he read a comic and scooped cereal into his mouth.

"Do you mind if I go and join Ben?" I asked, "I haven't seen him in forever, he must have got back early this morning."

"Of course Cara," Sawyer looked surprised and slightly concerned, "you don't have to ask my permission."

"Oh, yeah," I stumbled trying to pass it off as nothing. I made my exit quickly, but Sawyer had caught me slipping into the old habits I'd had with Jackson.

I had always had to ask Jacksons permission when we were together and tell him wherever I was going or he'd get mad and violence would follow. At the beginning I'd loved this, I thought it showed how much he cared about me. I'd never had someone love me so much they wanted to know where I was every minute of the day. I loved my mom and she tried her best to be a good mom but she was always so tied up in her own troubles she rarely had time for me. She let me be free which I enjoyed but I thought what Jackson was giving me was real unconditional love. Until it started to get wearing, I got tired of always having to update him even when I made the slightest of moves. I grew irritated at his oppression, his anger no longer scared me but exhausted me. I was too tired to feel the sadness I'd once felt when he was violent towards me, instead indifference was all my exhausted limbs could manage. Jackson took the life out of me and I was still struggling with how to get it back.

"My favourite Collins!" Ben cried as I approached his table, he grinned so widely and warmly I couldn't help but grin back as I pushed all thoughts of Jackson to the dark recess in the back of my mind where I kept them out of the way.

"And how many Collins's do you know?" I smirked as I flopped into the seat opposite him.

"Several actually," Ben teased, "so you should be honoured."

"I am," I nodded seriously, "and you're my favourite Rutherford."

"How many of them do you know?"

"None," I admitted and Ben broke out a chuckle.

"So?" He continued once he was done laughing, he eyes glimmered with curiosity, "what's going on with you and Sawyer then? Are you a thing now?"

"What?" I choked on the pice of toast I was munching, "no!"

"No need to sound so shocked," Ben held his hands up defensively, "we all saw it coming."

"Well we're not," I clarified though against my best efforts I knew my cheeks were switching through shades of pink.

"What about with Grey or Nico or Mitch?" Ben pushed.

"No, no and no."

"Aw, you're no fun," Ben pouted dramatically, "you're meant to have all the gossip to fill me in on."

"Sorry I'm not exciting enough for you, I'll be sure to work on that," I stuck my tongue out at him.

"Good," Ben nodded satisfied.

"What about you?" I switched the conversation around swiftly, "any gossip?"

Ben's eyes immediately began to gleam and I knew I'd hit the right spot. There was something he was dying to tell me.

"Actually, I met this great guy on holiday," Ben admitted coyly.

"No way!" I cried crossing my legs so I could sit more comfortably on my seat and leaned forward over the table, "tell me everything."

"His names Pietro and he's beautiful," Ben cried and then in a wild voice declared the entire whirlwind romance beginning with how he'd met a boy beside the leaning tower of Pisa and it had been love at first sight. He went into immense detail about how Pietro's eyes sparkled in the evening lights of Italy and how his black hair had shone in the moonlight and how they'd kissed over spaghetti in a tiny Italian restaurant and had walked hand in hand down the cobbled streets. It sounded so romantic I felt my eyes glazing over just at the thought of it.

"Wow," I shook my head in awe once be had concluded his story, "can you please tell me where I can find a Pietro of my own?"

"I know," Ben beamed so brightly I thought his face might break for how wide his mouth was. He rocked back and forth in glee for a moment but then his face clouded over darkly as a thought flashed across his eyes.

"What is it?"

"Long distance never works," Ben sighed mournfully.

"Bullshit," I declared grabbing his hand across the table, "you make it work Ben Rutherford. If this guy makes you happy don't let a couple of miles stop you ..,"

"5,352 miles," Ben interrupted pitifully.

"Don't use that as an excuse for this not to work out. Sure it's going to be hard but if you really like him ..."

"I do."

"Then don't give up now," I instructed firmly, "you keep hold of that amazing Pietro, guys like him don't come around often."

"How come you're so wise and worldly about this?" Ben questioned his eyes narrowing.

"I know guys," I waggled a finger at him just as my mom had done the first time I came crying to her about a guy, I repeated her exact words, "they can be complete assholes who you wish you'd never met but they can also be the only people you'll ever want to meet when you find the right one."

"Who said that?"

"Rita Collins," I smiled at the memory.

"You should listen to her advice too," Ben suggested cautiously, he knew he was treading on uneven ground, "cause you could find your Pietro too, I think he might be sitting just over there."

Ben nodded his head to the right where just a few tables away all the Silent Boys were sitting. Mitch, Nico, Sawyer and Grey all looking dazzlingly handsome and were laughing away together. My insides tensed at the sight of it.

"If you say so," I mumbled trying to make it sound flippant but failing as I unsuccessfully attempted to draw my eyes away from the boys.

"Don't be an idiot Cara, don't mess it up," Ben warned.

"I know," I finally snatched my eyes away and responded so decidedly Ben could tell the conversation was closed. I didn't want to open that Pandora's box right now.

"Thanks though Cara," the corners of Ben's lips tugged upwards, "for listening to me, none of the other guys can really understand or talk about guys, you know. It's nice to have someone who gets it finally."

"Of course," I found myself smiling back easily, "I know exactly what you mean." My eyes sneaked another glance at the Silent Boys.

The whole day I carried around that smile from Ben's kind words, I appreciated his friendship so much now especially that things with the Silent Boys seemed to be on a tipping point between where we'd been for the past couple of months and the abyss of the unknown.

***