"Cara," my dads voice sliced across my thoughts as I was heading back to my room. My mind was still wondering back to the stomach clenching thrill I felt on the motorbike.

I turned back to acknowledge him, we were still barely on speaking terms and each moment between us was laden with uncomfortable silence. I wasn't ready to accept and move on just yet.

"Hi," I mumbled staring at anything but his face.

"Can I talk to you for a second?" He asked formally.

"It's a free country," I shrugged.

"In here," he stepped back so I could walk past him into his apartment reluctantly. I could already tell this wasn't going to be a fun conversation, for some reason no one could make my blood boil like my dad. Maybe it was because I'd had so many years of anger building up inside or maybe because I wanted to let all that anger out on my mom but she wasn't here any more.

"So what's up?" I got straight to the point as I loitered in the entranceway not wanting to commit to sitting down, that meant I was going to have to stay.

"Tea or coffee?" Dad offered, I liked to get to the point whereas he preferred to skirt it.

"I'm fine," I shot him down not caring about his injured expression.

"Okay," dad smiled half heartedly but he still continued to go over to the kettle and start boiling it. He set two cups on the counter regardless of my desires and proceeded to make two cups of coffee while I waited in awkward silence.

"I didn't want one," I repeated when dad held out the steaming cup towards me.

"Just in case," he placed it on the table beside me and even though I needed coffee right now but for the pure reason of being stubborn I'd rather eat my own hand than drink it.

"So what did you want to talk to me about?" I emphasised wanting to be done with this as quickly as possible.

"I saw you left with Grey earlier, on a motorbike ...,"

"Yes," I waited for him to get to the point.

"I'm not sure how I feel about that," his voice remained measured as he gaged my response.

"Funnily enough your feelings aren't my first priority," I shrugged simply. I was being harsh and I knew it but I couldn't find it inside me to care.

"Cara!" Dad reprimanded, "I'm your father and I don't appreciate you speaking to me like that. I'm concerned about who you're hanging out with and how they may be influencing you."

"Influencing me," I repeated incredulously.

"Yes, I don't know what our mom let you do but I'm sure she protected you against people who might hurt you and I wish to do the same."

I wish she'd been able to protect me.

"Grey's not going to hurt me," I spat furiously, "none of the boys would ever hurt me."

"Maybe not intentionally," dad admitted, "but those boys have difficult lives and people around them can get hurt."

"Difficult lives," I shook my head, "what if it's the other way around dad? Did you ever consider that? What if it's me that could hurt them."

"What's so difficult in your life?" Dad dismissed quickly.

"You know nothing about me," I hissed in a whisper scream, "nothing at all."

I was already heading straight towards the door and out slamming it behind me with a bang. I marched straight out the school and down the garden to the end of the lawn where I collapsed onto the ground.

My dads words rang over and over in my head, what's so difficult in your life?

He knew nothing of difficult.

***

"Hey beautiful," a loving voice materialised in my ear and hands wrapped around my waist protectively but almost painfully right.

"You hungry?" I asked sweetly as I continued to chop up peppers and onions.

"Always," he whispered, his breath hot on my neck. I couldn't help but grin blissfully now I was wrapped up tightly in his arms. I leant back into him allowing myself to be comforted by his presence.

"How come you're back so late?" I wondered, usually Jackson was back long before I started cooking and he would sit on the counter and watch while I prepared or occasionally we would switch and he would cook while I watched.

"More work to do," Jackson deterred but I knew when he was lying.

"What work?" I pressed spinning around to face him and daring him to lie straight to my face.

"It's boring you don't want to hear about it," he shrugged not meeting my gaze.

"What are you not telling me?" I questioned feeling the familiar twist of anxiety and paranoia in my stomach.

Jackson was good looking and smart and funny, any girl could have him. A girl so much prettier and smarter than me could so easily snatch him from me. A girl closer to him in age. He was too good for me anyway.

"What are you being like this?" Jackson demanded, he angered so easily.

"Like what, I'm just asking you about your day," I defended, "why are you getting so protective? Have you got something to hide?"

"I've been home for less than a minute and you're already accusing me of shit," Jackson backed away from me his whole face darkening into a deep scowl.

"I'm not accusing you of anything," I pleaded coming towards him, I already missed the comfort of his arms embrace, "I'm simply asking and if you haven't done anything then you have nothing to hide."

"Why do I constantly have to defend myself?" Jackson demanded his frown deepening so his whole face was contorted with fury. It made me quake just to look at him.

"I'm sorry," I apologised quickly, I hated him being angry at me, it made my whole heart sink.

"I'm sick of it Cara, you're always attacking me and acting like I'm the problem here."

"Jackson," I implored, "can we just talk calmly."

"Don't tell me what to do," his voice rose to a yell and I flinched back from the force of it.

"Why are you getting so angry, if you've got nothing to defend?" I met his rage with rage.

"If you're going to accuse me of something just say it," he screamed.

"Are you cheating on me?" I hollered back.

"Of course not, who do you think I am?" Jackson cried at the injustice of it.

"Then why get so defensive?" I demanded.

"Because you're attacking me and accusing me, I'm going to defend myself."

"Because you were acting weird," I explained.

"Oh so now it's my fault," he roared.

"Yeah it is," I couldn't help but snap back.

His hand flew out of nowhere and the back of it hit me against the cheek with such force it sent my head reeling back. I couldn't help but stagger backwards and my hand automatically flew to my cheek in shock and hurt. My entire right side of my face stung with pain and my head was ringing with surprise. Jackson had never laid a hand on me before.

"Cara, I'm so sorry," Jacksons voice was instantly soft and caring. He pulled me back into him and stroked my face and hair delicately and lovingly. He started choking up with remorse, "I can't believe I did that Cara, please forgive me."

He sounded so deeply sorry and I could hear how emotional he was getting. I was still reeling from the shock and was barely able to comprehend what he was saying. Only moments ago he'd been hitting me with all the strength he could muster and now he was soothing me and stroking me like he loved me more than anything else in the world. I didn't know what to believe.

I just wanted comfort, I was afraid and I wanted protection so I snuggled right into his chest and let him hold me. I wanted to believe he was sorry, I wanted to believe this was the worst mistake he'd ever made. I wanted to believe this was an accident.

I convinced myself more than he convinced me that this meant nothing. It would never happen again, I believed it so much I thought it would come true.