After my run with Sawyer I crept back into my room hoping to avoid the rest of the boys, I wasn't ready to face them yet. Thankfully the whole floor was still asleep.

Back in the sanctuary of my room, I showered away all the dirt and shame of last night, I dried my hair and changed into comfy jeans and a band tee. At least looking decent might help make up for the embarrassing things I did last night. Something told me that it wouldn't.

"Cara, we know you're awake, you have to come out at some point," my heart sank at Mitch's voice. But at the same time it swelled, he was still speaking to me even after he'd been forced to get my sick covered unconscious body home and changed.

"Come in," I called knowing that if I didn't invite them they'd come in anyway.

Mitch was the first one in, he hesitated in the doorway for a moment before striding straight across the room towards me. I was stunned when he wrapped his huge arms around me and pulled me into a vice tight hug that nearly crushed me. I felt so safe in his protective cage though, a sense of calm washed over me knowing that he had a hold on me firmly in the present. It made me feel that if I slipped away someone would notice.

"God, you scared me," Mitch's gruff voice whispered in my ear.

"I'm sorry," I mumbled back.

"Don't ever scare me like that again okay," Mitch unraveled his arms to grip me and look me straight in the eye. I immediately missed his warmth.

"I won't," I tried but I knew I couldn't make any promises. I was a ticking time bomb ready to push all those I'd grown to love away from me.

"Hey Vegas," Nico was the next to hug me, enveloping me in his earthy scent, "you really know how to party, eh?" His joke fell flat so he stepped back, his expression downcast.

"Morning Cara," Sawyer gave me a look to say that he hadn't told them about our morning run. Probably best for them not to find out about my complete memory loss.

I turned to Grey, he was leaning against the doorframe watching the scene with a dark shadow across his face. I saw pain flicker across his eyes when he saw me. For a moment I thought he might come over and my heart leapt at the thought but he just shifted so he was lying back on the wall inside my room. My whole body melted into a puddle on the ground.

"I ...um ...I wanted to say thank you," I stumbled trying to find the right words, "for helping me last night, you really didn't have to." I crossed my arms and folded in on myself.

"Of course we did," Mitchell objected swatting my words away like a fly, "friends help each other."

I stared at them all, they were my friends? I didn't know what having proper friends was like, my mom had been my only true friend but I couldn't always count on her. Did having friends mean you'd always have someone to look out for you? To make sure no harm came to you? It sounded so simple when you thought about it but in reality friendship seemed so much more complicated.

"I'm really grateful though," I amended feeling the relief of getting it off my chest.

"Come here Vegas," Mitch pulled me into another vice tight hug, "let's just forget about it and move on, eh?"

"I'd like that a lot," I nodded quickly.

"Then it's already forgotten," Mitch grinned, "who wants to watch a film?"

I should have been more happy, I knew that, they'd forgiven me which was more than I deserved, but despite most of the weight being lifted there was still a nagging sensation in my stomach. Grey hadn't said anything to me yet. I wasn't going to force him though, he could speak in his own time.

We spent the rest of the day in the common room where we spent more time arguing over what films to watch than actually watching them. Nico and Mitch had a huge fight over which Shrek film was the best while Sawyer fought for Pinocchio. Grey laughed along with all of us but remained uncharacteristically quiet. I would catch his eye every now and again but each time he would glance away sharply avoiding me. Every time he did this my heart only got heavier and heavier.

***

"Vegas," Nico had just reappeared after getting some popcorn, he wore a devilish smirk, "I challenge you to another battle, who can catch the most popcorn in their mouths?"

"Easy," I yawned, "I could beat you in my sleep."

"Careful now Vegas, you know what they say, pride comes before a fall," Nico teased.

"I'm not boasting I'm stating facts," I shrugged, "I could beat you in my sleep."

"Bring it Vegas," Nico set the popcorn on the coffee table in front of the sofa we were all sitting on. Nico and I kneeled the other side of the table while Mitch sat on the sofa and aimed popcorn in each of our mouths.

Nico and I both caught the first few ones easily until Mitch started throwing them in more difficult places further and further out of our reach. We soon lost count of the score we were laughing so much. My stomach hurt from laughing and chocking on popcorn at the same time. Around us all the other boys were in fits of laughter as Nico and I leapt everywhere trying to catch the popcorn. Each time Nico caught one he would pump a fist in the air triumphantly and stick his tongue out at me.

I decided it was time to turn things in my favour. I never did play fair.

As Nico leant back to catch a piece of popcorn flying in a huge arch above his head I pushed him in the stomach sending him toppling backwards. I watched his eyes widen in surprise as he fell. The three of us erupted into hoots of laughter seeing his bewildered expression as he thudded onto his bum.

"No way," he stared at me his expression morphing from startled to mischievous. I knew he was plotting something but I was too busy laughing to care. "That's it."

In a split second Nico had swiped the back of my legs sending me tumbling backwards to the ground. My back and bum hit the floor with a crack that sent an ache flooding through my body.

"Hey!" my voice rang with shock as I tried to find my balance.

I elbowed Nico in the abs causing a cheer to erupt from our spectators. Nico fell backwards but surprised me by yanking me down with him, and so the wrestling war began. I wasn't sure who's limbs were who's but we were both so stubborn and desperate not to let the other win.

Finally, the fight ended when Nico pinned me down and sat on my stomach preventing me from moving. I was trying to laugh but only causing myself more hurt as Nico balanced himself painfully on my lower stomach. That's when I realised I was the only one laughing, I glanced over and saw that the other three, Mitch, Sawyer and Grey, all had the same angry expressions. A dominant glint shone in Mitch's eye, Sawyer looked more angry than I ever thought him capable of and Grey's glare made me want to disappear into the floor.

My laughter faded away sharply.

I looked up at Nico waiting to see if he would move because I wasn't capable of moving anywhere. He had the same look I'd seen in all the boys eyes at some point that week, longing.

I really noticed him for the first time too, without all his bravado and humour to hide behind Nico looked surprisingly vulnerable. I noticed the kindness in his rich dark brown eyes, the warm blush to his olive skin and the adorable black beauty spot on his left jawline. The way his jet black hair flopped over his forehead messily and he didn't bother to move it, how thick and long his eyelashes were and how thin and angular his face was.

Grey arising and storming from the room was what jolted me out of my trance and made me realise what an awkward situation I was in. Nico was still perched on my stomach pinning my arms down and I was staring directly at his face studying him while he studied me.

The sound of the common room door being slammed by Grey resounded through the room.

"Excuse me," at my gentle push Nico fell off me limply, all his power gone. The thoroughly rejected look on his face immediately made me feel so guilty. I hesitated for a moment before pushing myself up and racing after Grey.

I caught up with him at the bottom of the stairs in the freshman corridor, he was power walking with a furious thunder.

"Grey," I caught his arm before he could run away, "what's wrong?"

Grey turned to me with such a fiery intensity in his glare that I snatched my hand from his skin as if burned. I wanted to crawl into myself just to get away from his scorching eyes.

"Just leave me alone Cara," He demanded his voice low but terrifying,

"Is is me have I done something?" I pleaded wanting to make things right. I wasn't ready to loose a friend yet.

"Not everything's about you," Grey hissed venomously, I staggered back as if his words had pierced me and I floated round the room like a deflated balloon.

I felt his words sear through me, burning holes into my insides and setting my skin on fire. The force and violence behind them made my vision spin.

Without another word Grey stormed away from me up the stairs to his room, I couldn't move I was so stunned and remained in the same position until I heard his door slam shut. The sharp crack of it like a gunshot rang through my body.

I couldn't.

I wouldn't let myself break down in the middle of the corridor where anyone could see all my weaknesses so I sprinted up the stairs the way Grey had gone. I shut the door to my own room sharply and was instantly encased by its familiarity.

The bed that I'd cried myself to sleep in nearly every night, the floor that the boys lay on doing homework, the CD player we listened to each night and morning arguing over the best tracks.

I'd barely let the first year fall before my phone started buzzing in the back pocket of my jeans. I pulled it out allowing a tiny part of me to hope that it would be Grey calling me to say sorry. Of course, it wasn't.

The caller ID sent shockwaves running down my spine and bile up my throat. My tears vanished only to be replaced with pure dread as I put the phone to my ear with a trembling hand. My whole body was shaking so much I had to sink to the ground before I fell over.

"Hello," I answered my voice barely at a whisper.

"Miss Cara Collins," his voice rang down the phone like a death toll.

"What do you want?" I hated how weak I sounded.

"Just making sure you're keeping up your end of the bargain," I hated how smug he sounded. He knew he had me making every move he wanted. I was a puppet on his strings.

"Of course."

"Good because we wouldn't want any more of the people you love getting hurt would we?" The sinister edge to his confident tone made my toes curl.

"No," my voice was no more than a mouses squeak.

"Glad we're on the same page here," I could hear the malicious smile in his voice, "I know you'd hate to have that boyfriend of yours get your address, wouldn't you?"

"He's not my boyfriend," I hissed meaning to sound powerful but only sounding weak.

"Whatever you say doll," the pet name caused my stomach to flip and lodge itself in my throat, "things will be easier for both of us if you keep your mouth shut."

"I will," I agreed quickly, what other choice did I have?

"Good girl Cara," he was so patronising I couldn't help but clench my fists, "don't let those new friends of yours get too close now."

A low buzz came as he hung up leaving me a shaking wreck.

Doll, the man had used his name for me, that meant he'd spoken to him. A thought that made me sick to my stomach.

Literally.

I sprinted to the toilet and threw up for the second time that day. As I collapsed next the the toilet and pressed my head on the cool tiles I knew that friendship was now out of the equation.

Finally I let my tears fall in a waterfall of pain.