-Vegas-

The voice said. I just finished taking him on a motorcycle ride around the university today. It was an opportunity for me to get close to him

and I didn't expect that opportunity would come so quickly.

I broadly smiled at the person in front of me. This man, Porsche, always looked good in my eyes. Whether it was his body or appearance, or even his stubborn personality, he was very challenging but pleasing to me.

He said without a thought. Even the expression he made was annoying. But in my perspective, his every movement made me almost unable to take off my eyes from the person in front of me.

I said, smiling while giving him a flirtatious look to show a clear hint of my real purpose of approaching him. I have to act fast now that I have a chance to score.

Porsche hurriedly ended the conversation, but I didn't see it as disrespectful. It was probably because I understood him well. On the outside, he had a stubborn personality and he looked very strong physically but on the inside, I could tell he was trying to hide his vulnerability.

Because when I saw him, it was as if I was looking at myself in the mirror.

Although, he was a bit different than me...

He was a simple, uncomplicated person. He was the type of person who would say and express exactly what he was thinking.

But I wasn't like that. I could hide my real thoughts and personality much

better than him. It was most likely because the lives we experienced were different.

Porsche Pachara has accepted your friend request.

The moment I opened my Facebook, I looked at the phone screen with

satisfaction. I responded first before I turned it off again. The wide smile

slowly disappeared from my face when I finally got inside of my car. I gently massaged my jawline with my hand and glanced at my face through the rearview mirror. I stared deeply in my eyes, and the more I looked, the more I was able to see the thing that I feared within myself the most.

I admit that I had different personalities depending on the situation and my moods weren't very stable. I showed Porsche my friendly side because I wanted to get closer to him. At the beginning, I only wanted to win him over because of Kinn. But now, I was starting to be seriously interested on Porsche.

And if one day, he would come to see me for who I really am... Would he be

able to accept me? And how would he feel if he found out that all the things

I've shown to him before about myself were just an illusion?

I adjusted the windshield and started the car to get ready to drive home. But

my attention was caught when I turned to see a familiar car parked by the corner of the building. That made me smirk once more.

I picked up my phone again before typing something to post as a way to provoke Kinn. Now that I thought about it, it was best that I held on to Porsche a little longer. This would be fun.

: Can you stay? Don't you ever let me go. You know my whole heart is yours now :)

I put down my phone after I turned on the music to play along the way while I was driving. I chose from my favorite playlist of dark, heavy songs.

The more I got into the music and imagined Kinn's face, the more I felt satisfied. As for Kinn, I would be appeased in any way I could get him to be upset.

That Kinn, the second eldest son of the major clan, was considered as perfect from his appearance, education, and social status. It was difficult to compare him to other people. But I didn't want to believe that I would lose against him

when it comes to ordinary people like Porsche. That bastard slept around with different people, but he stopped doing it now. I could honestly say that I just swallowed and endured it for a long time. That person, Porsche, might've looked like he was just another random man for Kinn but from everything I was able to observe, I think Kinn wasn't just playing around carelessly anymore like before. It looks like he really liked him. And for someone like Porsche, Kinn was definitely whipped for him. But I still wanted Porsche.

He was a person who had a very high sex appeal. I will go after him even if

Kinn wanted him. Once the day comes that I finally have Porsche, Kinn is probably going to die from madness. We will be playing a game on who will be able to express their feelings more clearly to the point where it's not completely concealed anymore. And even more now, it seemed like people were about to die. But that wasn't bad at all, the game will be more fun.

I confess, I didn't want to only hate just Kinn before. I hated the leader of the whole family. Why was that? Because the word minor clan stuck to me since the beginning. The words inferior, secondary, and minor family had been ingrained in my head since childhood. No matter what I did, I would always be seen as second in the family, school, or even in the company. Our house was

inferior to their home, as the name suggested. But the reason why I hated Kinn more than anyone else instead of Khun was because...

'Look at Kinn as an example. He learned to become great.'

'Kinn was born with perfection. But you, Vegas, never had it.'

'Of course, it matters! You made another mistake. I'm terribly envious of the major clan because they have someone like Kinn.'

'You're just a part of the secondary family, you don't have to be good at this.'

'It would be better if Vegas can become even half of Kinn.'

That's right. I still remember every word my dad, people in the company, or even teachers at school said to me. Especially my father, he would always compare me to Kinn. He wanted Kinn's excellence to make me ambitious. He wanted me to do everything to be equal to him. I excelled at many things, but

when it came to the company or other social events, the person they admired the most was still 'Kinn'.

And because of Kinn, I had to put up with all the pressure on myself and

expectations from my father. They always hoped and expected for me to be a certain thing. And most importantly, I must be superior to the major clan that Kinn was leading.

It was all about Kinn. Khun was basically insane and Kim was an idiot.

Those two were going to be easy to eliminate as competitors. But Kinn was leading the family perfectly. If I could kill only Kinn, my family would finally get everything they wanted.

And it was also my mother's intention before she died. She wanted to see me grow up and run the whole family's business.

The story of my mother was another reason why I became like this. My

mother was the chief accountant of my father's company and soon became the family's deputy daughter-in-law while still working in the company. But then, my mother killed herself. She did it after getting accused of corruption in the company's revenue. At that time, I was still very young and my father always blamed the major clan for slandering my mother to the point where she ended her life. And that's why I started thinking of defeating the major clan and destroying their power to compensate for what I had lost...

Everything that I was doing was so that I could defeat them.

As soon as I parked the car, our bodyguards ran to me with alarmed expressions and told me about the situation.

I half-walked, half-ran to the direction of the sound of my brother's screaming.

When I walked in the living room, I saw my father and Macau facing each other, fiercely arguing.

I hurriedly walked over to Macau's side.

Macau turned around and hugged me. I quickly rubbed his back with my hand to comfort him.

Dad's voice continued to grow louder and louder.

I raised my voice harshly, yelling at the person in front of me.

Dad said.

I gritted my teeth and clenched my fists. Dad and I never knew how to love or even get along with each other. Never! I fought with my father almost every day after he found out about my sexual orientation. He already knew for a while that I liked men. The day he found out, the house was almost destroyed.

During social events or meetings with our grandparents, I would act like I

cared about both of us. But that was just a façade. After my mother died,

Macau and I were the only family left in the world.

I angrily said. My overall tone and expression were furious because of

what my father said.

I heard the clear voice of a woman near my age standing behind me. She walked over and grabbed dad's arm while calling at him. Seeing that made me even angrier.

I pointed at the woman who immediately turned pale.

Dad was about to approach me, but he was held back by his woman.

Smack! Dad rushed towards me and slapped my face so hard that I staggered backwards.

Macau stepped in and pushed dad away with full force while shouting.

This wasn't the first time I've been hit like this. I've been hit countless times

already. It would hurt so much before until I just got used to it and turned

completely numb.

I tried to balance myself, turning to face him.

Dad stretched out his hand to slap my face again, but Macau stepped in and hurriedly pulled me by the arm out of the room.

Dad's voice rang through the house. Macau and I paid no heed about it while walking up the stairs to the second floor into the bedroom.

Macau angrily kicked the bookshelf in his room. I lightly touched my cheek with my hand. I didn't even feel any pain or anything. Even his words didn't hurt me anymore.

Back when my mother was alive, I watched my parents argue about Dad's women. But after Mom died, my father became more serious than before, bringing different women to the house. Some would come for one day and leave. Some would stay for a long time and take a role in the house, taking power and giving orders to the household staff which makes the whole house confused. I often chased them away or even threatened their lives.

My father and I never agreed with each other since then. I never had dinner with him in the house. I never greeted him well except for outside work only.

He became a workaholic since my mother's death, and he didn't care about his children anymore. It was different now. He only saw me as a puppet who just had to follow orders. He made himself the center of the universe, and everyone in the house had to listen and follow him alone.

To make it even worse, he accidentally found out about my real sexuality. And that created more disunity in our family more than ever.

I sat down on the sofa in Macau's room and tried to suppress my emotions. I pushed my anger, hatred, fatigue, and many other things deep inside my heart.

So that no one could see my weak side, not even my own brother.

Macau said harshly.

I asked just to be sure.

I already learned before that Macau liked men, too. In fact, the reason why he was so determined to enter medical school was because he met a doctor at the hospital, a very handsome man. So I asked him to tutor Macau for the exam. It

seemed childish at first, but he really fell in love. It was kind of a shame

though that the whole family now seemed cursed. There were almost no real 'men', except for Khun. And I'm not even sure about that one, too.

Macau said. He seemed to care more about Top's feeling, but I understood

that. We were now both used to being scolded by dad.

I tried to smoothly change the subject.

I had to act normally again.

Right now, in my life, I cared about Macau the most. He was still young and had no real father to lean to. I was afraid that he would be stressed and worried about how I felt. That was also why I could say that I'm similar to Porsche, because in his life, he was left with only one brother too and he loves his younger brother very much. That's why I was really interested in him.

Macau said confidently.

But for a moment, his face immediately froze.

Macau said with a displeased expression.

Macau snorted sarcastically.

I said with a throaty laugh. The atmosphere had eased from the pressure that came from

dad's emotions a moment ago.

Macau shouted, extending his hands forward as if a person named Top was standing in front of him. Now he looked like a frenzied man and was about to go mad.

I talked to him for a while

before excusing myself from my brother's room and going back to my own bedroom.

I didn't forbid Macau from loving someone. It was his own life and there wasn't anything wrong with liking men. But I had guesses on how it happened.

Since childhood, we watched our dad with his different women. Therefore,

there was a change in Macau, and he probably wanted to find a place to belong in. Or maybe he wanted to find someone who would actually listen to him and understand him. I wasn't the only one who was pressured or constantly compared to the major clan. Macau got hit too, but not as often as I did. I was affected the most because my father had high expectation for me as the eldest

son.

My subordinate held a folder and placed it on the table.

That was for our illegal products. Informal meant that it wasn't related to the family's main companies but were secretly smuggled products from the company's warehouse.

Things like barbaric weapons that we smuggled. As for narcotics, it was my father who handled that because the major clan wouldn't interfere with this type of illegal activity. Everything I did would not go into the money of the major clan or the company, but directly into my family's

income instead.

I was the one who handled the whole operation with my father giving orders and always destroying evidence.

I went to the balcony of my room with my cigarette and a lighter.

Perhaps, I was now exhausted from all the pressure. People like me were taught to not be weak against anyone because we would look like losers.

There were times when I wanted to cry because of how my father treated me or I just wanted to sit and eat, hang out, or play with friends but I couldn't. I only needed to be

ambitious, I just needed to be great and superior to the other family. All of that gathered in my thoughts until I fell apart.

Sometimes, I would think that someone out there will understand who I really am. But I had too many faces, and my true self was so complicated...

I looked up from the second floor. I saw a black saloon car in the dark, parked out of sight on the other side of the house. Even though it seemed like the car parked still on the pavement was unimportant, I knew what it was. I wasn't a fool, and I knew how much Kinn has ordered his people to follow me lately.

He was probably more jealous than ever. At the moment, it seemed that Kinn and Porsche are fighting because Kinn might be concerned about my behavior, fearing that I'll win this game, and I will be able to get Porsche for myself.

Even today, I was able to be with Porsche and ate together with him. Will this go on? This was getting more fun.

I asked my subordinate while narrowing my eyes at the parked car.

Said my subordinate who used

to work at Kinn's house in the past.