《My Mate is a Crazy Cat Lady {Namjoonxreader}》Epilogue

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"Hi, welcome to Chili's"

Hell. Welcome to hell. With a fake smile plastered on my face, I welcome the family of five to the bane of my existence and the job I want, but actually hate.

"Hello. We have five." The ahjussi and clearly father and husband of this family holds up five fingers, as though I wouldn't know what five meant if he didn't show me. I hate him, and his entire bloodline already.

"Very well sir, please follow me." Grabbing two menus and a few children's coloring papers, I lead the family to an adequately sized table just as the youngest, maybe a one-year-old baby starts to cry. Great. That is EXACTLY what I wanted.

I've been on my feet for six hours. So far I've been snapped at by an ahjumma for providing her an additional menu by accident, seated so many people that I can't distinguish anyone's faces anymore, nearly tripped on a grand total of six unruly children (because why wouldn't you let your kid run around the restaurant), and been forced to listen to three deeply personal stories from customers that I never wanted to know.

My feet hurt, my back hurts, my feet hurt, I miss my cats, my feet hurt, I miss my dog, my feet hurt, I have to go home after this and write a paper on animal science and food sustainability, and my feet hurt.

Did I mention my feet hurt?

If I didn't, my feet really fucking hurt.

I never look at the time. If I pay attention while I'm working, it will never move. It will always be the same time no matter what and I'll spend an eternity in this hellhole.

When my replacement, Ha-Eun, walks through the door, I almost sob in relief. I like Ha-Eun. She doesn't like cats, she hates manga, and thinks the idea of vampires and werewolves are silly. But you know what? Ha-Eun ends my torture. When I see her, I know that it is, in fact, possible to leave hotel California. When Ha-Eun comes in, I see twenty angels singing the Hallelujah chorus and I can feel my soul rising from the dead.

Then when I leave, I lie to myself. I say that I will never come here again. It doesn't matter than I need something on my resume or that I can use the extra cash on Namjoon and my animals. For the time being, I'm free and ignorance is bliss.

I will never come here again! As I skip away to clock out, in my head, I hear Jungkook's voice saying, 'let's get iiiit!'

But of course, before I can escape into the back room a costumer waves me over. It doesn't matter than I'm not a waitress or about to clock out, its protocol to attend to all costumer's needs. With an impatience to get this over with and an aching back, I head over and greet them with the same practiced and professional smile.

"Hi-I'm sorry," the man says and motions to his daughter, who I guesstimate to be around two or three. "But my daughter thinks you're a princess. I tried telling her that you're not, but..." he scratches the back of his neck awkwardly. "She requested that I ask."

Over the time I've been more in contact with the general public through this job, I've come to discover something. Something I'd never thought I would admit, or even thought was true.

Not all kids are bad. Some come in and scream throughout their meal, run around the restaurant, and try to eat the menu. But on other occasions, they'll be well-behaved and cute and gift the waiter or waitress their color drawing. In the end, I wonder if it comes down to parenting.

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This is the first time a child (or anyone) has mistaken me for a princess. It's silly, but I'm still flattered. A bad costumer can ruin your whole day. A good customer can make it. This little one just made mine. I take in her appearance: curly, black hair tied into pigtails with matching red ribbons, two rosy apple cheeks, and big eyes sparkling as they look at me in wonder. Cute.

"I am, actually." I answer in a tone far more breathy and lighter than my actual voice. I'm so glad no one I know is here to see this, but this is too fun to pass up. I place a hand over my chest and ask her, "how did you know???"

The kid screamed—actually SCREAMED in excitement and disappeared under the table, only to pop back out a second later and hug me around the legs.

Easily embarrassed is a part of my personality that has yet to change and more than a few costumers do turn to look at this exchange. For once it doesn't bother me so much, not when I notice that the little girl is hopping in place as she maintains a grip on my legs.

Her father is working hard to gently pry her away while issuing an apology, but I assure him that it's fine. This is a far cry from how I started my day when my cats decided to have a 'let's cough up hairballs' party in my room first thing this morning.

When the little girl shows no sign of releasing me, I break her hold by squatting down to her level and try to be as serious as I can be.

"I'm terribly sorry, but I must be off. My kingdom needs me." What am I doing going for a zoology degree when I could get a preforming arts one?

This cute little ball of happiness gasps and asks me in toddler gibberish that I'm somehow able to decipher, "You gotta castle? Where?"

"Winterfell." I answer without pause. Starks for the win!

"Oooh. You gotta snow? You wanna build a snowman?"

"Yes, but only after the ball. I must hurry, and quickly, so I'm not late!" If I really had to go to a ball, I would avoid that shit like the plague.

The little girl gasps, and makes a shooing motion with both hands. "Go! Go!" then hugs me one last time before climbing back into the booth with her family.

The father thanks me once more before I finally make my exit.

My future, as of the next 12 hours, seem bright. I've already started on my paper so I just need to finish. Then I'm going to put on my pajamas, cuddle up with my animals and sleep. Sleep ‪until tomorrow‬ when I have to go back to hell—no. I'm not going back there, I tell (lie to) myself. I'm going to sleep forever.

The new term started last month and after spending every waking minute with Namjoon and playing around all summer, I forgot how stressful college is. And to add the stress on, I got this job for money and in addition I'm doing an internship at the WCC (Wildlife Care Center) for six months. This was important for my future resume but my main goal was to finally get some interactions with animals. Still haven't met any big cats but fingers crossed.

By the way. I think I'm a crazy animal lady.

Shocking, I know. Last week I got to assist in nursing baby squirrels that fell from their nest, and I maybe want to steal them and raise them as my own. And this week we've been attempting to coax a doe to adopt a baby fawn. If it were up to me, I would take in the baby deer and call it a day but no. They gotta bring logic into it and be all, "the baby needs to learn how to 'deer'" and "Y/n, no touching! You can't cuddle a wild animal."

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WHATEVER. I'll just casually be by myself fantasizing about hugging all the animals and leading my own revolt of tigers straight into WW3.

With a tired sigh I climb into my car, just as the phone rings.

For a second I debate on answering. I'm so tired.

Tired, as in, actually tired. There's tired. Then there's exhausted out of my ass. I'm the latter.

I go ahead and answer anyway when I see it's Eun-ji calling. You don't deny a pregnant woman anything if you want to live.

True to their word, Eun-ji and In-guk had married straight out of high school. I can't say if their families are stupid or are really that supportive, but they were thrilled, and they'd chosen to live with his family in their sprawling three story home that I don't want to talk about because I'm jealous that they own such a beautiful house and I don't.

In-guk went ahead and took care of his mandatory enlistment while Eun-ji studied to become a beautician. This meant that she wanted to use me and all of our friends as practice. My hair was teased, cut, and styled on multiple occasions, Namjoon had gone back to purple, a light pink, and then back to blond again, and poor Ronald had somehow been drawn into this cluster fuck. He'd gone blond, (which looked absolutely goofy with his dark colored mustache) then when his hair turned green, had gone back to his original black and he refused to let Eun-ji touch it again.

Everyone had become victim to Eun-ji's hair styling tools.

A few weeks ago she'd announced she was pregnant. I'm happy for her, but it's odd. I can't wrap my head around the fact that my friend I've known since we were kids, is about to have a kid. Eun-ji and In-guk becoming parents. I just...can't.

In-guk is nearly through with his enlistment, so in the meantime me and the guys have been trying to keep her sane and comfortable. She'd known about what they were since the wedding, and Eun-ji, being Eun-ji didn't even bat an eye over it.

"Hey Ji-ji," I answer and try to keep any hint of tiredness out of my voice. She's been extra teary lately and I don't want to give the impression that I don't want to talk. I mean, I don't. But I can't let her know that.

"Hi, on your way here can you pick up some ice? What kind of house doesn't have ice? Namjoon-oppa's apparently."

"Ice?" I question. What the hell is she talking about?

"Yes, Y/n, you know that magical thing that happens when you freeze water? That's called ice."

"I know what ice is." I snap. "Why do you need—oh. Shit." My hand slaps into my forehead. "I forgot."

"You forgot Jimin's birthday party?"

"Yeah. Sorry. I have to go by the house and change, then I'll get ice."

My future is bleak. Sure it's a party with all the people I love in attendance, but when you're this tired and busy, socializing becomes a chore. A chore that as of late I've been severely neglecting. Anyone else's birthday I may pass up, but it's against all morals to ignore Jimin's. The guy who always bought cakes and gifts for everyone else's birthday.

But no, I can do this. I'll bring my books with me to write my paper there, and maybe I'll crash at Namjoon's tonight.

With the new plan set, I head home, rolling down the window so that the cool air will keep me alert and awake.

When I reach the house, before I even turn off the car Lucifairy and Fluffy Jr come barreling out the front door to get to me. Dad stands at the opening to the house, his head shaking slightly back and forth as he watches my animals viciously attack me with love.

Fluffy Jr—who is now fully grown and looks near identical to my Fluffy, is under the impression that she's as small and light in weight as the cat in my lap. Lucifairy purrs and rubs against my abdomen while Fluffy Jr stands on two legs, her front paws on my shoulders, holding me in a half hug so that she can lick every inch of my face she can reach.

Who needs human children when you could have this?

I tuck my lips in and wait for the assault to stop—if I try to get away I'll only be made to endure more. Not that I really want them to stop doing this. I just wish they'd chill out some. However, they do make me feel loved and important, so I can't fault them for that.

After their greeting I make quick work of showering and dressing in something more comfortable. Packing a bag and grabbing everything I need, all while giving my babies extra loves and kisses. Voldemort was especially loving, as he had been ever since I bought him a new collar a couple years ago. I like to think he really appreciates the gift, but Namjoon has to go and be reasonable and say he's 'just being a cat'.

Whatever Namjoon. You just keep that to yourself and go hang with Steve, who is still creepily obsessed with you.

On the way out I decide at the last minute to bring Fluffy Jr along. Namjoon is her father, after all and has visitation rights. I'm her mother. Fluffy Jr is our child. There is nothing strange about this.

All the way to the closest mart to buy ice, and then to Namjoon's, she hangs her head out the passenger window and barks at anything alive. Her bark is deep and scary, in contrast to the sweet, gentle giant she is. This dog would make friends with a snake if it bit her. She's very vocal and whines and howls when she doesn't get her way, and is somewhat high maintenance, but at the end of the day she's still my baby.

By the time we turn into Namjoon's driveway, I'm still exhausted, my ears are ringing, and I'm a little annoyed with this child. Recognizing where we are she whines and scratches at the door until I lean over to open it as fast as I can, for fear that she'll tear up the upholstery.

I watch as she dashes up the drive and makes one, smooth leap up the stairs where she then skids across the porch. Namjoon opens the door just as she comes to a halt and from there she jumps into her father's arms, bestowing him the same tongue treatment I'd been made to endure earlier.

Laughing as I climb out of the car, my things in hand, I watch them interact like a real father and daughter. Namjoon scooping her up and spinning them around, while the dog's mouth is open so that it really looks like she's grinning. What even.

As I reach his side, he leans over for a kiss and I stand on my tiptoes to meet him halfway. Fluffy Jr decides that it's totally appropriate to break us apart with another dog kiss, this time sticking in right in-between our face to get at our eyes.

"Fluffy J!" I admonish as I wipe the saliva from my face. To her credit, the dog droops her head and gives a low whine that almost breaks my heart in two. Until Namjoon gasps, a hand stroking the fur at the back of her neck.

"Don't be mean to her!" still petting her, he drops his head closer to her ears and says in a soft voice, "it's alright, you're a good dog. Mommy is mean, I know."

Completely soaking this up, Fluffy Jr rests her head on his shoulder as Namjoon continues to baby talk.

"What the hell!"

"Shh," he shushes me. "You'll scare her." with that, he turns and walks off, leaving me there dumbfounded. Did I just get dumped for a dog?

Inside, the house is decked out in the weirdest decorations possible.

There are streamers hanging from the ceiling with little tombstones on them that read 'over the hill', one of those air dancer things that is bright yellow and say nothing about a birthday, store bought cupcakes that on closer inspection, expired two days ago, and most confusing of all, a giant banner that says:

"What the fuck?" I ask mostly to myself, but Jin, looking frazzled and on edge, shrieks,

"It's all I could find, ok?!?"

"Ooookay..." Sir, you need to calm down. I move away, avoiding the subject, only to be told by Taehyung:

"We forgot it was his birthday."

"What! You guys forgot, too?" We are terrible people. Poor Jimin. He deserves more than our lazy asses.

"I didn't forget." Yoongi, with a content looking Lil Meow Meow draped around his shoulders, drawls casually.

This scary version of Jin rounds on him and nearly yells. "Then WHY didn't you tell us?!?"

One hand scratching his cat's ears, he lifts the other hand in place of a shrug. "Didn't feel like it."

Jin is highly unamused by this answer and appears to be on the edge of exploding and spouting out one of his rap-speed scoldings, when Taehyung interrupts.

He runs into the room and whisper yells, "he's here!! Everyone hide!!"

This would have been better said before he cut the lights, because now everyone is scrambling over each other in the darkness and bumping into all sorts of things. Something crashes and breaks while Namjoon lets out an "oops", Yoongi curses and there's an unmistakable sound of a cat's hiss, and then Jin yelping in pain. I don't know where Eun-ji is but I hear her laughing constantly. Fluffy Jr has been set on the floor, and since we're now on her level she sees our faces as free licking territory.

"Whose elbow is in my crotch?" Hoseok asks, discomfort obvious in his voice.

Taehyung speaks up with a, "Sorry hyung, that's my head."

"What!" Hoseok hisses and I hear him scrambling to get away. "Why is your head so sharp?!? And WHY was it in my crotch?"

"I can't see anything!" Taehyung counters, then adds, "why is your crotch so soft? I thought it was a pillow."

Unable to heed their shushes, I laugh until I cry, uncaring that this half ass surprise party will be ruined for Jimin.

When the front door opens and the sound of footsteps can be heard, I manage to quiet down, still shaking with silent laughter. Once they enter the living room, Eun-ji flips on the light and we all jump out and scream surprise.

Jungkook, clearly the one who had just come through the door, jumps in shock, and though he tries to catch it several times, a cake flies out of his arms and straight to the floor, where Fluffy Jr runs over and eats it in three bites.

Jin screams, "my carpet!" while Hoseok yells, "my money!"

I guess he's the one who bought the cake?

"My nerves!" Jungkook holds a hand to his chest as he breathes deeply and glares at us all.

My time. I just wanted to sleep. I did not sign up for this chaotic mess. Jimin needs to get his ass here so I can tell it happy birthday already...now there's a image for you.

Hours pass and Jimin is still not here. No one really knows where he is and he's neglecting to answer his phone. That's not entirely unlike him, so no one really worries. Most likely he's with his dad.

For once, I actually gave someone good, sound advice. After the wedding, Jimin had decided on talking to his dad and as it turned out, he had been willing to try to get better for him. First was therapy sessions on his own, and then later family sessions with Jimin included. It had taken some time but their relationship had patched up to the point that Jimin had actually moved back home.

Jin had gone into culinary school and was top of his class. A few times he'd shadowed dad at work and had asked if he could pay him for lessons—which dad gave him for free. Princess Jingle bell was still as haughty as ever, except now she'd developed a sort of OCD over keeping her paws—specifically her paws—clean. She'd wash them for an hour straight before she was satisfied

Yoongi was going for a music production degree, and nowadays spent more time working and less time sleeping. Lil Meow Meow was still as protective of him, but after she was spayed she'd chilled out a bit. It was now ok for others to be around Yoongi, except for when he was sleeping.

Hoseok was flip-flopping between majors. Sometimes he wanted to go for the music production as well, but then he watched BBC's Sherlock and decided he was going to be a detective, and after a few weeks decided he would focus on athletics. He'd joined his University's tennis team and was flourishing in that area. Dodo was still living up to her name. Most of her time was spent chasing her own tail and attacking her reflection in the mirror.

Jimin, Taehyung, and I graduated and all went in separate directions.

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