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"You're his mate."

I have no idea what's going on anymore. Last night when Namjoon had finally passed out, his friends had come and removed him. They'd dropped him and bumped him against every surface so many times that I couldn't tell if they were doing it on purpose or not. I'm positive he's got to be covered in bruises.

Now the next day, Jimin, along with two others I'd never met before, had come back and explained everything as promised. Jimin introduced Hoseok, who was friendly but maintained a serious demeanor since they'd arrived, his mouth pursed into the shape of a triangle. Then there was Seokjin, or Jin, the too-handsome-to-look-at guy who'd greeted me in the school hallway once before.

Introducing themselves was the last normal thing that came out of their mouths.

After that it was a lot of information about werewolves. With every new piece of info my brain and everything in it started to slip away, bit by bit. The guys are explaining it well but somehow with more knowledge my brain feels stupider.

A mate? I thought wolves didn't mate for life? But apparently werewolves do. Ok. It's starting to make me look at them more as animals than people, though I feel wrong in that assessment. Namjoon didn't hurt me, he just came off as insane and intense. Apparently I'm irresistible.

Who knew that was a possibility.

This revelation of being his mate answers a lot of questions and everything makes sense now. This is why he wants to smell me all the time. This is how he knew who I was while in cat form. This is why he does all that he can to please me. This is why he growled at In-guk (cause evidently that wasn't a throat infection) for touching me and always sat in-between us. This is why, despite everything, he likes me.

Which begs the question. Does that mean he really likes me? Or are his feelings decided for him by nature? If things were different and he was human, there's no way he'd look my way, right?

These are questions that I'm too afraid to ask.

Apart from that, this is why I feel whole when he hugs me.

That.

That's the scariest part. It makes me feel vulnerable somehow to know that the reason my heart becomes peaceful is because of a force of nature that I can barely understand. Are my feelings even real, or is it like it is for Namjoon, something that can't be helped?

On the surface, they are. I like him because of the way he treats me (not counting last night) and always has a smile for me. This is the only thing I'm absolutely sure of.

"So wait," I interrupt Hoseok's explanation with my hand held in a halting position. "You guys knew he would be like that and still let him go?"

"No." The conversation was serious but Jin held a smirk on his face. "We had him locked underground in a cellar. He broke through a door that was six inches thick to get to you."

Well then.

"Y/n," Jimin says softly, "please don't be afraid of Namjoon-"

"I'm not afraid." I'm not, and I really don't get why. I wasn't scared last night, either, only frustrated. "He didn't hurt me or scare me," I explain, "just annoyed me half to death."

They all sit, blinking, clearly shocked by my passive attitude.

So what if I just found out that not only am I Namjoon's fated mate, but also that seven of his friends were werewolves too. It's aaaall normal.

Sarcasm aside, it is my new normal. Why is this my life? Just...why?

Now onto how I'm supposed to deal with all this. Now knowing I'm his mate and that he'll be completely devoted to me forever sort of gives me the feeling of being put into a box and told to stay there. That feeling must be infinitely worse for Namjoon. Is he ok with that?

"You aren't angry?" Hoseok questions. It's clear by the look on his face that he's still in disbelief.

I can't help but scoff. "I didn't say that."

Of course I'm mad. Namjoon could have told me all this sooner. I'm not exactly thrilled to learn the news but it still would have been nice to know. I would have known to not answer the door, I would have understood him better as a person. Not only that, but I'm still upset about his psycho ass behavior from last night. Sure, he couldn't help it. Just like how I can't help but be mad about it. He kissed me without permission, he doesn't get to get away with that.

I sigh. "Is he ok?" Despite everything I'm still worried about him.

Jin chuckled a bit and nodded. "Still knocked out."

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I'm beyond mortified.

Of course it wouldn't be true mortification if my mind didn't replay the list of events back in high definition, over and over and over.

"If any other wolf touches you, I would annihilate them."

"Y/n, I love you, please be with me."

Y/n must hate me now. Or at least recognize me for the clingy, possessive wolf I am.

It's been two days according to Jin-hyung. Whatever she gave me knocked me out for that long. My head feels heavy and my eyelids thick. The knuckles on both hands are bruised purple and I groan remembering how I'd come to damage them. Literally punching through the door. I never knew I was in possession of such strength until I'd been desperate enough to use it.

There was at least one good thing that came out of this. Finally she knows. My pack mates told me of the informative talk they'd shared the morning after full moon. Since Y/n hadn't been hurt, my 'wild night out' was now a source of amusement for my six friends. Why do they love my pain? While they found my humiliating behavior hilarious, they found Y/n's reaction, lack of fear, and problem solving impressive and fascinating. It made Yoongi and Jungkook, the only two who had yet to be introduced, want to meet her, and the others to get to know her better.

This makes me more uncomfortable than ever, thinking of her being near so many wolves. But I have to smother that worry. Obviously I can't continue acting as jealous and protective as before, not while I'm treading on thin ice with her.

My hands shake slightly while I stare at the phone in my hands, her contact up on the screen. Should I call her, or give her space? I haven't seen her for two days and I'm beginning to feel it. Like the feeling of lacking sleep, my muscles feel heavier than they should. Even my wolf is uncommonly quiet and gloomy and giving off the impression of shame.

I am ashamed. Good.

Don't you have anything to say for yourself? Whoops.

I want to see her, but dread having to face the consequences of my embarrassing actions. My sigh is heavy but mind set. I tap on the call button.

It rings and rings, and just when I think I'm going to be ignored, the call is answered.

"Yo, wassup NaNan!" In-guk's voice answers cheerfully.

I hate this kid. "You know my name." I stress. "And call me hyung, you brat!"

A smacking sound, like gum being chewed noisily meets my ear. "Nah, you look funny when you get serious, Nammy."

Feeling defeated, I sigh. I know exactly what he's talking about. My friends remind me every day. "Is it the thing I do with my chin?"

In-guk giggles. "Bingo! It makes you look super cute."

"What?!?"

"Oh here's Y/n, Nanyjoon! No, wait, Lucifer wants to say hello." I grit my teeth and hear a lot of shuffling around, then something persistently rubbing against the speaker and a loud purring.

"Will you stop fucking around and give me the damn phone, Guk?"

I perk up when I hear Y/n's voice. Even while yelling and cursing it's one of my favorite things ever.

"Fine." Clearly pouting, In-guk hands the phone over and says his goodbyes. It's only after I hear a door shut that Y/n finally answers.

"Hey."

Still nervous, I can't help the smile I get when she speaks to me. "Hey...I'm sorry." I decide to jump right in. "I'm really sorry. I'll buy you manga..and candy! And fish. Lots of fish."

"Namjoon, do you really think you can just buy me stuff and that'll make me forgive you?"

I freeze at the question. I honestly have no idea. Y/n is the first relationship I've ever had. Deciding that honesty is the best way to go, I quickly explain that to her.

"What, never?" she sounds surprised. "But you're eighteen!"

"I am." I laugh lightly. "But...werewolves tend to save themselves for their mate. Dating is fine, but with that comes the risk of...uh..." My face feels hot all of a sudden. "Mating, that is—sex. For us, finding our mate and sealing the bond is sacred. And we're naturally territorial so if our mates give themselves to someone else, that runs the risk of us wanting to hurt the one who took them first. In addition, our wolf side doesn't like being with anyone else."

"Wait...seriously? But it's the twenty first century!"

I nod before I remember she can't see it. "Ye—hold up." Panic and dread hits me all at once. "Why did you say it like that?"

Silence.

"Y/n? Did you...?"

"Oh yeah, like a thousand times." she says nonchalantly.

No.

No.

NO.

I can't breathe. What's that color I'm seeing? Oh, it's . Now is not the best time to yell. But. "WHAT?"

"That's right." she proclaims happily with zero shame. "I used to be a huuuuge ho!"

"A huge?" What is happening?!?

"Once there was this guy with a REAL big dick. Good memories."

This is the part that hurts me the most. Mine is sadly, average. No, now that I think about it, that's not the worst part. Did she say thousands?

"Dude, it was the size of a train! Hit all the right spots-"

That's it. That's the end of me. The words put an undesirable picture in my head. Y/n, naked and moaning while dozens of guys are putting their hands all over her. All over mine. Mine. . My wolf is screaming.

My voice comes out, a sad, strangled sound. "Are you serious?"

It's completely silent and I sit and wait for an answer, rage causing my skin to feel prickly and hot. I am going to find all of them. And I am going to castrate all of them.

Y/n giggles. She's laughing?!?

"Nah, I'm just fucking with you."

I hate her. I love her with my absolute everything, but I also hate her.

"Aaaanyway," she sings, "so I was thinking we could maybe—I don't know—take a break."

Another joke, and even less funny than the last one. Or maybe the same amount of . I can only sigh in reply this time, my free hand moving up to massage my aching forehead.

"Can we please be serious?" I beg sadly.

"I'm serious this time. I just need some space-"

A strangled, panicked scream comes out of me, my voice reaching an octave I never knew it could. "NOOOO!"

"JESUS CHRIST!" she yells back, her voice laced with pain. "Are you trying to bust my eardrum?!"

"We aren't breaking up. You're stuck with me, the end." I ignore her question and her sputtering for words at this new proclamation.

"That's not how this works-"

"Yes it is, the end."

"Dude, you can't just-"

"I can, I did. The end."

"STOP SAYING THE END."

"I'll see you tomorrow at school. Girlfriend."

"I'm not-"

I quickly hang up the phone with a few pointed jabs. The more time passes, the more dread fills my chest. My life flashes before my eyes. It all seemed so colorless before Y/n. Now in my future all I could see was my own failure as a man. How did I get to this point, and how do I get out of it? Do I really want to hold Y/n hostage in a relationship? This'll work out, right? RIGHT?

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Edited 7/28/21