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If I thought Namjoon was weird yesterday, I know he's weird today.

We hadn't discussed it beforehand but I'd expected he would be waiting outside this morning to walk me to school. Then he never showed up and feeling disappointed, I'd gone ahead before I would be late. I figured one of two things. Maybe he had slept in or, more rationally, realized that I'm more psycho over cats than boys and he didn't want to deal with it.

Whatever. The thought doesn't upset me.

Except that it really upsets me.

When I stopped creating problems out of nothing, I got my dramatic ass to school. I walked in and there was Namjoon, an arm around his shoulders that belonged to one of his friends I hadn't met yet. He seemed to freeze before he jerked his head around and his very intense eyes met mine.

Wait.

After a moment he sent me a tight lipped smile and a wave, then turned and walked to class with his friends before the bell even rang.

What?

Is he mad at me? I know I teased him last night, was he hung up on that? That couldn't be it. I'd told him I liked him, he'd said it back and then he'd sent me a hundred and one heart emojis. So why?

These thoughts are momentarily forgotten when Eun-ji joins me at my locker and wouldn't shut up about some guy named Carl.

"Who the hell is Carl and why should I give a fuck?" I spit out, perhaps more rudely than I normally would be, considering my boyfriend hates me and wants to break up and probably hates my cats too.

I'm not being dramatic.

"He's new, and he's a foreigner and he's like, totally drool worthy." Eun-ji continues to gush. "But I heard that bitch Jennie saying-"

"Jennie, a bitch? She's the sweetest person ever." I argue, briefly forgetting that I hate everyone.

Eun-ji gives me a stern look. "Are you on my side or not?"

My mouth opens in confusion. "There's sides now?"

"You know what I mean."

"I really don't."

"Friends should agree with each other, no matter what."

"So by that logic, you also think that cats should be named supreme overlords of earth."

Eun-ji stares at me, her lips twitching. "Yes." she finally agrees unconvincingly.

My locker swings closed and I nod. "Then I guess Jennie's a bitch."

"Huh? Y/n, why?"

Oh shit. I turn and there's sweet Kim Jennie, her lip trembling and eyes filling with tears. I'd met her last year when we'd had to work on a project together in chemistry class. I was lucky to get to work with her because she was the only person in that class that I didn't want to punch in the throat.

That was because she quiet, always keeping to herself, but when she did have to speak she was always nice. Then of course she possessed something that was one of my weaknesses. She was cute. The type that would hide her face and blush when you complimented her. I'd always wanted to pinch her cheeks but I held back. And I'll admit I'm a bitch. But I would never want to hurt her feelings.

My arm moves to my side to find Eun-ji—I suddenly had the urge to pull her hair out—but of course she'd run off at the first sign of drama. Bitch.

"Not you, Jennie," I assure quickly. "We were talking about a different Jennie."

Jennie sniffles and rubs at her eyes. "Really?" she asks quietly, the tip of her nose turning red. Cute.

Cuter than Namjoon, the man who has dumped me for apparently no reason at all and given me no excuses for it!

I'm not dramatic.

"Of course. You're a sweetheart."

Jennie blushes and then hides behind her hair. Why can't I be this cute.

The bell rings and I bid goodbye and we go our separate ways. Once in class I take my seat next to Jimin and Taehyung who both seemed to be suffering from what I can only guess is a hangover. Both keep rubbing at their temples and shifting uncomfortably, a look of misery on their faces. Jimin only groans in reply to my greeting and Taehyung doesn't even respond.

What is wrong with everyone today?

Maybe stupid Namjoon dumped everyone with his stupid purple head and ok eyes.

What does that even mean.

Our ever-incompetent teacher manages the task of introducing a new kid, Carl, before sitting at her desk and going back to being useless.

Carl, a blond haired, green eyed German kid with pierced ears sits right in front of me. And as it turns out. Carl is a really cool guy.

Normally, I wouldn't give a fuck. People are meh for me. But when Carl approaches I can't help but notice his shirt. Instead of the school regulated white button down under his blazer, it's a black t-shirt and printed on the front is a pirate ship on a stormy ocean, with a giant cat coming out of the water, as if it's the kraken. Holy shit it's the Krakitten.

Needless to say, Carl and I are both losers, and have a lot in common.

When lunchtime rolls around I even invite him to eat with us but he declines to go and eat with his girlfriend instead.

Look at me. Being all social and shit.

I really need to stop.

I sit in the courtyard with Eun-ji and In-guk, my head beginning to throb from their new stupid argument. Carl. Cause how could Eun-ji be thinking of dating someone else already, In-guk wants to know, apparently forgetting the fact that he left her. Eun-ji tells him he's stupid but I can tell she's enjoying this.

Hell, I'm enjoying it. I'd love to watch Eun-ji go for Carl now that I know he's already dating someone else. She deserves it for making Jennie cry and leaving me to deal with it.

I'm not being dramatic.

I'm maybe being meaner than usual.

It seems to taking longer than normal before Namjoon appears, today walking with a still miserable Taehyung and Jimin. Why don't they just go home?

"Y/n!" Eun-ji whispers excitedly. "Who is that with Namjoon? Ohmygawd the one with the blond hair—no the brunette! What's their names, quick!"

I barely hear her. Namjoon looks...different. Almost like he might be hung over too but his eyes are sharp and pinned to my own, not even blinking the entire time it takes for him to get to where we're sitting.

Huh?

Despite this he sits beside me closely, offering me a smile and immediately moving to take one of my hands in both of his. But still, those eyes. They're obviously his eyes, but something about them gives me the impression that I'm looking at someone else. Of course that's impossible. How much did they drink last night?

Jimin sits on my other side and Taehyung plants himself on the ground, sitting cross legged in front of the bench and giving me the feeling of being boxed in.

This is weird.

"Hi." Namjoon offers sweetly with a dimple smile. Once that smile comes out I feel more at ease.

"Hey." I answer back. I wanted to ask why he didn't walk me to school but held back, not wanting to appear clingy.

He might like that too much and that wouldn't do.

"Sorry I didn't see you this morning. I didn't sleep much last night and then when I did I missed my alarm."

At the confession guilt nags at me. How could I think he would dump me for no reason like that? More importantly, how could I think his purple head was stupid? His purple head is adorable.

"It's ok." I tell him. Stupid. It wasn't ok cause I almost lost my mind in a dramatic mess of nothing. If I was more reasonable I could recognize that that's my fault and not his. Sometimes I hate my brain.

Namjoon opens his lunch box. I'm shocked and touched when he offers his chopsticks to me and there's a piece of glazed cod being held between them.

"I asked Jin-hyung to put some fish in my lunch."

"But you don't like fish."

He nods and smiles. "It's for you. We can share from now on."

My heart hammers in my chest and my pulse becomes loud in my ears. Behind us I hear Eun-Ji fawning in the form of a squeal that makes all three boys around me close their eyes in apparent agony.

I giggle and accept the food, feeling guilty for doubting Namjoon and having my heart swell at how caring he is at the same time.

"How come you guys are here today?" I ask Jimin instead of Taehyung, considering the latter is now laying stretched out on the grass and looks dead.

Wait. Is he ok??

Jimin offers a weak smile that makes his eyes squint adorably. Namjoon shifts to drape his arm behind me across the back of the bench and I can't figure out why Jimin begins to eye it warily.

"Just felt like it." he answers finally. "Is it ok?"

"Yeah," I motion to my friends with a thumb. "Eun-ji is dying to meet you. Careful though, she gets around a lot."

"YAH!"

All three guys groan in pain at her outburst as I giggle uncontrollably. My laughing is cut short, however, when Namjoon's chopsticks with more fish for me bumps into my lips.

"What-" I attempt to question this aggressive feeding technique but fail to do so when he shoves the food in anyway.

His eyes are hard again. Not in mean sort of way, but in a way that gives me the feeling of being watched intently and it sends a shiver down my spine. "Don't smile." he commands. "You're too pretty when you smile."

Has he gone completely insane? He likes to say things like this to get me flustered, but he's always taken care to say them when we're alone, or at least to say it quietly. But now he wants to casually get me embarrassed and red faced in front of his friends and mine and think it's ok?

How dare you make my heart flutter, Kim Namjoon! Fight me in the pit.

Too self conscious now to say anything I remain silent, feeling as if my head may blow up with the amount of heat it's currently accumulating. My tongue darts across my lips to clean the glaze the fish left behind. It doesn't make me feel better that Namjoon's sharp eyes catch on to this movement with great interest, once again refusing to blink, even after I've long stopped.

Everyone is weird today, but Namjoon is without a doubt, the weirdest.

"Hyung." The previously dead Taehyung is now standing and grabs hold of Namjoon's lunch box, closing it quickly. "It's time to go."

Already? Namjoon doesn't acknowledge him, his stare continues to bore into my own. On my right I vaguely note Jimin stiffening his posture.

"I'll see you tomorrow." he finally promises me after a good twenty seconds of this.

What the hell.

With that, the three of them up and leave, the two younger men practically pushing Namjoon away.

I'm so confused.

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Edited 7/24/21